This is the “walking stick” Camp Trans organizer Gemma Seymour-Amper carried while lurking around the Michfest (Michigan Women’s Music Festival) perimeter in protest of the private festival’s female-only entrance policy:
Guest Post by Violet Irene.
To those who are looking for this information because you are wondering if you made a mistake starting “T” and are looking for guidance: know that you are NOT alone. Even if the people on the FTM forums say it’s incredibly rare and basically no one does this, that is NOT TRUE. I personally know a TON of women who took T and then for a variety of reasons changed their minds and went back to living as women. Some identify as lesbians, some are bi, some are straight. Some look butch, some look androgynous, some look completely “average” for their community and assimilated. Personally I identify as a bi-dyke and while no one is ever surprised to learn the “dyke” part, because it’s who I am and I don’t try to hide it, I also pass for just a matronly sensible feminist mom type too and no one would ever know I had spent time IDing as FTM unless I told them. If you want to stay more androgynous more power to you, but if that is NOT what you want, don’t feel like you have to! It was hard emotionally figuring everything out but pretty much as soon as I wanted people to see me as a woman again, it didn’t take much to get that.
I just want you to know you are NOT ALONE and you do NOT have to hate or blame yourself or feel like a freak or an outcast. You still have options. You still have a future. The rest of your life is waiting for you, there is ALWAYS hope. I thought I had ruined my life but now I have a beautiful family and amazing friends and a happy life and things DID get better. Hang in there—you’re strong and BRAVE—it takes so much courage to face yourself with the idea “I made a big mistake”–and you can make it through this terrifying moment.
And a disclaimer: I took testosterone for less than a year, so if you took it a lot longer, the effects may take longer to reverse for you. On the other hand, they might not take that much longer at all. Every body is different, some respond really strongly to female hormones or male hormones or both, etc. All the advice and experience here is just about what I lived through, I don’t claim to represent a universal or scientifically validated “what to expect.” Take it for what it’s worth because there’s not a lot out there. I hope others who have been through this will feel emboldened to come forward, too, with their unique experience. Also, I did not have any surgeries. I got pregnant less than a year after quitting T, and that I am sure had some influence over how the physical changes went for me, too. I quit T seven years ago as of today, spring 2012 (so I quit in 2005).
So physically, about three weeks after my last dose of T (I had been taking injections at the standard dose every 2 weeks) I started to feel hormonally weird, like a really strong PMS. This intensified over about the next month, as my ovaries got back into gear and produced I am sure a lot more hormones than usual to try to balance me back out. I felt every symptom you can think of associated with both PMS and menopause—hot flashes, sweats, crying jags, nausea, itchy skin, cramps, and migraine headaches. This was the really rough part because I was also struggling a lot with the emotional implications of what was going on. About 2 months after the last shot, I had a period. I then had another regular period the next month, and in general things started to even out at that point.
Let me warn you about that first couple of periods—they were really, really painful and intense. I think this has to do with the fact that your body has to overproduce the female hormones to bring things back into alignment, but I don’t know. I got a prescription strength NSAID from my doctor and that helped a lot. After that, my periods were like they have always been—bad but not horror show worthy.
About the time I got my period, my breasts started to look more like they used to. “T” had made them kind of deflated and floppy. At this point, they started to plump back up and eventually went completely back to normal. The facial and body hair that I had gotten on “T” stayed put, but the growth noticeably slowed down within about 5 months of quitting. I still grow hair in places I didn’t before (ie some patches on my wrists and thighs) but within a year-ish it was no longer coming in dark and coarse like male hair, but had changed to fine and light like the body hair I have everywhere else. My “beard” ditto—it changed over to that downy, fine stuff most women grow especially as we get older, with the odd darker, wiry hair. Because I prefer not to be scrutinized for it, I shave it off with an electric razor about every couple of weeks.
My voice was lower on T but I think not as low as it would have gotten. For a long time after quitting, I was stuck with a kind of awkward register, with a break in it so I had trouble singing. I couldn’t sing high, I couldn’t sing low, I had to cough and clear my throat to cover for some pretty awkward sounds when singing. When talking I just had to watch that I stayed in my mid-register for a while, going higher or lower would make me sound like a teenage boy. They SAY that never changes back, and maybe it doesn’t always. For me, though, while I don’t have the same voice I had before T, it sounds a lot higher and more decidedly female now than it did right after I quit. And the break went away. Because I love music, I kind of nurtured my singing voice until I got a normal low-alto that doesn’t break or crack anymore. Lower than average but not unheard of for a woman. I still sometimes get misgendered on the phone when I am trying to sound serious (so talking very low and authoritative) but I just correct them and try not to dwell on it.
When I was on T I had a lot of problems with my sinuses and blood pressure going up when I was stressed. The sinus problem cleared within two weeks of quitting. The blood pressure thing took longer.
If you’re hoping to have a baby, this is my experience on that. I got pregnant about 5 months after stopping T, after three normal periods. I “charted” my cycle to know when I was ovulating but that’s it. Stopping T can actually make you REALLY fertile as your body cranks out extra estrogen to compensate, so if you are active with men and don’t want to be pregnant, be REALLY careful. I chose not to tell my midwives about what I had been through. It was just too hard. If you want to disclose, please be careful and have outside support, because a lot of medical professionals WILL treat you differently or like you are crazy. It sucks but that’s reality. I learned the hard way, with a counselor and a doctor. You can seek out professionals who work in the lesbian community and sometimes, but not always, they will be more sensitive. Or you can keep it secret, because once your system has cleared the hormones it’s hard to say if there’s any lingering effect they need to know about. I had a normal pregnancy and a natural delivery. We had one unusual kind of complication happen, it wasn’t of consequence long term and we are fine now, but it is one that women with PCOS are at higher risk for so I did wonder if it had anything to do with the androgens that had been in my system before I conceived. I tortured myself about that, but since my child is fine now I have to just put it in the column of “if I had known differently, I would have done differently” and forgive myself. I didn’t have that problem with my next pregnancy. I was able to breastfeed normally and breastfed my baby exclusively for many months.
The hair on my head took a long time to get back to normal, oddly enough. I had a crewcut when I was trying to pass as male, and when I decided to quit it was important to me to start growing it out right away. It took a long time. I’ve had short cuts since then, while on my natural hormones, and before that, and they all grew out a lot faster. On T my hairline had started to recede just slightly, yes even after less than a year. So it grew back really, really slowly. If I’d thought about it back then, I would have tried taking some vitamins and using jojoba oil shampoo—those can both help a lot to bump along the female pattern hairgrowth as it comes in.
People say that when you quit “T” your sex drive will shrivel, but I didn’t find that to be the case. Once my female hormones were up and running I felt just fine, and still do. Everything went back to the way it was before as far as my personal odor and my vulva and so forth, too. Some sources claim it will be harder to orgasm when you quit T but I didn’t find that to be an issue at all.
My face softened up again within a couple of months, and my hips padded back out too. I may have lost muscle mass but if I did, it wasn’t noticeable, I stayed active and that was good enough.
I hypothesize that a lot of why things went back quickly for me was my cycles started up, so I was getting bathed in the normal levels of female hormones right away. If you have trouble getting your cycles back, I would advise that you see an endocrinologist or gyn about it because that’s going to help a lot. Maybe birth control pills could help, if nothing else.
7 years down the line the only evidence I ever took T is stuff only I would notice, like some body hair that wasn’t there before but which has lightened and softened up, a little extra soft facial down, and a slightly lower vocal range.
Social, emotional, and practical thoughts:
This part is where your mileage may really vary from mine. I’m not telling you what to do, just what worked for me.
It was important to me to immediately stop being seen as a guy or a trans person. I wanted to know that I COULD go back to how I was before, I was terrified that I had ruined parts of myself that were really important to me. I feared that I was locked out of “women” forever. I went through the seven stages of grief, for what it’s worth, and still to this day have feelings of essentially having survived a loss and a trauma. This is a big deal, so be kind and gentle to yourself.
In the “bargaining” and denial phase one thing I said to myself and others was “I don’t really care what I am seen as, I’m neither male nor female, call me whatever you want.” You might go through a stage like this too. It’s ok to then move on and say “no, really, I DO care.” You’re not “selling out.” You’re coming to terms.
I went and bought some really fancy, padded, push-up bras. For me, this was really helpful while my breasts were still really flaccid. It gave me the shape I was used to seeing before, and helped people realize that despite some androgynous traits, I am a woman. If you have had surgery or have very small breasts, you might consider going to a lingerie shop that helps women who have had breast surgery or masectomy, if you think this might help you.
I found it was helpful to immediately purge some clothing and accessories that I especially associated with “trying to pass as male,” like double-reinforced sports bras, baseball caps, etc. It’s not that those are male clothes—clothes are just clothes—but it was about what they meant to me. Getting rid of them and replacing them helped me feel more confident that I was really going to be able to come home. I do find that a lot of FTMs rely heavily on things like baseball caps to help them pass as male, too, so taking off the hat can help people see you better too.
It was helpful to me to dress more “feminine” than I otherwise might have, for a while, to get some confidence that I was going to still be “allowed” to be a woman in society. After a while, I felt assured enough I could wear more casual clothes like I usually do again, but that phase was helpful to get me out of despair. Once my hair grew out I kind of ended up using it as my crutch, to the point where I surprised myself by completely emotionally freaking out the next time I got it cropped short for the summer. Just something to prepare for, if you might be like me. That and a few other things are basically trauma triggers for me, if I am confronted with unexpected reminders of that phase of my life, I can have an emotional reaction that is rather overwhelming. No one warned me to expect this, but it seems pretty logical to me now that I think about it.
Another thing that helped me feel more “in control” of the kind of chaotic situation was learning to recognize the hormonal patterns in my body using fertility charting (aka natural family planning or fertility awareness method.) You can find books or web info on this.
I don’t feel like I can advise on handling the social aspects because I don’t know that I handled it well. I just survived through pure stubbornness. I told my mom and we cried together. She had always felt it was wrong and disturbing, my dad had always been all for it and relished bragging how he had a “son.” He pretty much wouldn’t speak to me after I went back. Other than that, I didn’t announce anything except to friends who I chatted with online. I just changed my name back, changed my presentation back, and basically gave off “FU” vibes that made it clear no one should dare to give me shit about it or ask any questions. I know a lot of people in my family decided at that point I was truly crazy, disgusting, depraved, and have treated me like garbage ever since—not surprising since a lot of the same folks were homophobes to start with. My really good friends I was able, eventually, to really talk to, and they stood by me. Pretty much all my other friends ESPECIALLY those from the genderqueer and queer political circles—I lost them. Slowly, painfully. They weren’t interested in me, they were interested in The Trans Show and once it was over, they were out.
I was called some horrible names and yes, threatened and told that I was an evil person, that I should kill myself, that I was a menace. Not by fundamentalists…by “queer radicals.” And some people claiming to be feminists. I don’t talk about this much unless I can be anonymous, as a result.
It was hard going from being essentially invisible in a good way, passing as a male, to being seen as a woman again, dealing with street harassment, having guys basically try to shoulder and elbow their way through me, having to fight to get my whole seat on the train, etc. I do still feel some grief, pain, and a lot of anger, about the freedom I lost and the fact that women are not yet free.
I haven’t really gotten into why I started T or why I went back, maybe we can talk about that another time. But this is a sample of what the experience was like, for one person. If you are looking for advice, please just listen to this: no matter what the specifics of your situation are, you can survive this. This is going to be a strange, scary rebirth. But you will make it. A day will come where you don’t think about it everyday anymore, every time you look in the mirror or sign a check. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other, and if a day is too much to take at a time, take it an hour at a time. Make a list of things to do and get the little rush from crossing out each item on the list. Write a rant and post it online. Pet a dog or a cat. My dog saved me, again and again, because she didn’t see the clothes or the labels, she just loved me. Eventually it WILL get easier, and before you know it, you will be OK.
Transgender “Feministing” editor Jos Truitt on how females are wrong about Rape, Reproduction, and Homosexuality
April 23, 2012
“So apparently, I’m a Pretendbian. So in case you’ve been lucky enough not to hear, Pretendbian is this term radical feminist and transphobe Cathy Brennan came up with, for transwomen who are apparently “pretend” lesbians, trying to trick or force real lesbians into sleeping with them. She has put a list of pretendbians online and actually a couple of us are here tonight. This is all in response to the idea of the Cotton Ceiling, which Drew Deveaux termed for the ways transphobia and trans misogyny keep trans women from getting laid in the queer women’s communities. Read the rest of this entry »
April 22, 2012
Hot off the presses- The Ms. Magazine press, no less, comes this anti-feminist screed from everyone’s favorite “Cocky” misogynist Julia Serano. Serano, a male, explains to Ms. readers how feminists should not focus on female concerns.
“Trans feminism—that is, transgender perspectives on feminism, or feminist perspectives on transgender issues—is one of many so-called “third-wave” feminisms. Its origins are closely linked with other feminist submovements—specifically, sex-positive feminism, postmodern/poststructuralist feminism, queer theory and intersectionality. These strands of feminism represent a move away from viewing sexism as an overly simplistic, unilateral form of oppression, where men are the oppressors and women are the oppressed, end of story.”
That’s right folks! In Serano’s version of what he calls “Trans-feminism” (the prefix means: “across,”“beyond,” “through,” “changing thoroughly,” “transverse, ”the “crossing over” of feminism into it’s opposite) the fight against male oppression of females is obsolete! Because such oppression doesn’t really exist! At least not for guys like him. What next? “Strands” of racial justice that “move away from viewing racism as an overly simplistic unilateral form of oppression, where whites are oppressors and people of color are the oppressed’? Because “cis-ethnic” people oppress the whites donchaknow! “Strands” of economic justice that “move away from viewing class as an overly simplistic unilateral form of oppression, where the wealthy are oppressors and poor people are the oppressed”? Because “cis-impoverished” people oppress the wealthy trans-poverished donchaknow.
Serano calls for an end to a movement that centralizes the rights and concerns of female people. Serano, a male, also claims that people of the female sex have no common class experiences based on sex.
“The myth that there is some kind of universal women experience was debunked by women of color, among others, long ago. All of us have different life histories, sexism impacts each of our lives somewhat differently and each of us is privileged in some ways but not others. Some feminists may obstinately insist that cis women have it far worse than trans women, or that traditional sexism is far worse than cissexism, or heterosexism, but the point of feminism is not to engage in this kind of Oppression Olympics. Rather, the point is to challenge societal sexism and other forms of marginalization. This is what trans feminists are focused on doing.”
Dang females obstinately insisting on organizing together about specifically FEMALE concerns! You obstinate laydees you! (shakes man fist).
Hahaha! Leave it to a male- a female fetishizing and female-impersonating male at that- to claim those born female have no common universal experiences as an oppressed class BASED ON SEX. Duh.
A female liberation movement should not centralize females why? Ohhh, because there are OTHER forms of oppression in the world tooooo! “There are also other forms of marginalization prevalent in our society, such as racism, classism and ableism.” Ohhhhhhh. Why fight racism when: poverty! Female issues should never be centralized in a social justice movement when there are OTHER injustices in the world. Save the whales, yo.
What spurred his sexist anti-female essay? His assertion that females have no right to discuss gender and its relationship to our women’s liberation movement, and his complaint about such a previous discussion hosted on the Ms. Blog here: http://msmagazine.com/blog/blog/2012/03/20/future-of-feminism-transfeminism-and-its-conundrums
“Dove-Viebahn’s post gives credence to those feminists who refuse to acknowledge cissexism or intersectionality, and instead frame trans issues solely in terms of male privilege.”
Seriously, can you imagine these doods writing on economic justice sites about how the “cis-poor” oppress the rich, or racial justice sites about how the “cis-blacks” oppress whites in blackface, or how “cis-disabled” people oppress those with an amputation fetish? Oh HELL no. Their asses would be kicked off (or laughed off) the sites quicker than you can say BULLLLSHIT. But when it comes to FEMALES and FEMALE concerns then hey, let’s hear what the male has to say about our little FEMALE LIBERATION MOVEMENT. And how we’re “doing it wrong” and oppressing males with our “Cis- Femaleness”. Mean man-hating feminists! (fist shake)
If, as Serano asserts, oppression based on being born female doesn’t exist, if there is no universal female class experience based on being female-bodied, if there is no need for a movement to dismantle male supremacy, Then WHY LORD WHY do these guys endlessly, relentlessly try to STOP FEMALES from organizing around FEMALE concerns?? If it’s so unimportant, then why do they care? Hahaha.
I think we all know the answer to that one. He says it himself. Transgenderism is incompatible with a liberation movement for FEMALES.
Damn “obstinant” and “refusing” women! Stop thinking about yourselves! (shakes man fist)
I must admit that when I heard about the ongoing rash of death threats issued against the University of Pittsburgh in the last three months the FIRST thing that went through my mind was “the trans”.
For those not in the know, Pitt has been subjected to over ninety death threats in the last three months. The threats have been issued via email by proxy to news agencies through overseas servers, and in written threats on both men’s and women’s bathroom walls at the university. The university has suffered repeated lockdowns and evacuations as a result. Classes have been disrupted repeatedly. The Feds have gotten involved.
Concurrently, Pitt has been challenged by genderist activists over the rights of those who believe in “gender” to use cross-sex facilities based on their genderist beliefs. The couple at the center of this controversy faces subpoena by federal grand jury tomorrow as persons of interest in the bomb threat investigation.
The issues at Pitt began with a female student now known as Seamus Johnston aka Jamie Johnston. She was charged with indecent exposure and expelled from Pitt a few weeks before the death threats began.
Johnston, a female bodied pre-op transgender was expelled for allegedly repeatedly entering the communal male shower area at the university and disrobing, and inserting her female body into the male shower area. The male students complained about being forced to shower with a female person. It made the male students uncomfortable to disrobe and shower next to a naked woman. From what I can find in news reports, Johnston is a former Computer Science major, is receiving total SSI disability on the basis of “Gender Identity Disorder” related dysfunction, and was enrolled in only one class at Pitt at the time of her expulsion: “Men’s Weight Lifting”. One could speculate that this student is targeting Pitt for genderist activism based on the fact that their single college schedule is a single weight training class, the goals of which one imagines could be met more economically and effectively at one of the many fitness centers in the nearby region. University officials arranged months ago for the staff/trainer shower to be made available to Johnston but she refused to use it and continued to disrobe and shower in the area set aside for male-bodied persons- in apparent protest of the males complaints.
Johnston’s spouse, Katherine Anne McCloskey aka Red Katie Anne, aka Caitlin Aine, aka Caitie Anne, aka Katie Anne,aka Gabriel Ross, aka Gabriel Kierran McCloskey- Ross, aka Rua Cáitlin Áine, aka Gabe Ross, aka Dr Katherine Anne McCloskey, 56, was arrested and charged with disorderly conduct in a November 2011 incident apparently involving his female partner trying to force her way into the male showers.
These pictures show Ross/McCloskey encountering police chief Grady in the November incident- stills from a YouTube video shot and posted by Johnston and since removed. [UPDATE: Copies of the videos have been located and posted in the comments section below.]
McCloskey, (who describes himself thusly :
“Interests: My faith (I Am a Eastern Rite Roman Catholic) My wife and family are most important things to me in this life. I was born in the working class and with all workers of the world I cast my lot. My country is very important to me and I have held elective office twice. I teach Kyusho Kempo- Aki-Jujitsu and I hold 7th dan ranking after 40 years of practice. I also hold rank in Judo, Akido. several styles of Karate and I have boxed, kick boxed, and I have competed in MMA( geezers division) and submission wrestling. I hold two masters’ degrees, one in Labor Relations and one in Economics. I captained both my college soccer and rugby teams. I studied for priesthood and hold a graduate minor in divinities. I play the guitar.banjo, cittern, penny whistle, harmonica, and bodhran and I am mad for Celtic music. I am employed as the executive director of Social Democrats,USA–Socialist Party, USA; League for Industrial Democracy”) later accused chief Grady as being “the cop who punched me in the back of the head” and said he was “beaten up earlier today by campus police and township police” over the incident:
Ross, a member of both “The Art of Manliness: Reviving the Lost Art of Manliness” and “Lesbian Chat” currently cites his employment as “Acting General Secretary of the Social Democrats, USA”. He refused to hand over his computer to investigators on the grounds that private political activist materials and member lists may be exposed . But on Saturday the Social Democrats USA issued the following statement:
Statement from the Chairs:
Recent bomb threats at the University of Pittsburgh have led authorities to question Seamus Johnston and Katherine Anne McCloskey. Katherine, who is in reality Gabe Ross, told authorities he would not turn over his computer because he is executive director of Social Democrats USA and his computer contains organization files.
Gabe was SDUSA executive director from 2007 to 2009. During the time that Gabe was director, Jaime (aka Seamus) Johnston was youth chair. They were living together as partners. Following Gabe’s dismissal, he refused to hand over SD files on membership and accounts. This led us to a lengthy and expensive reorganization. Needless to say, Gabe and Jaime are no longer members of Social Democrats USA and are not connected to our organization in any way. Any files that they have are not related to the current SDUSA or it’s members.”
As of two days ago Ross/McCloskey claims that his genderist wife Johnston has recently been charged with multiple counts: “ The summary charges against Seamus were withdrawn and he now faces misdmeanor charges for Incident Exposure, Disorderly Conduct, and defiant trespass..” [sic]
Johnston and McCloskey will be subpoenaed in federal court on Tuesday and say they will file a grievance for discrimination against Pitt on the same day. *UPDATE- Johnston filed her compliant against Pitt today, on the eve of the bomb threat subpoena.
Predictably, trans activists protest the federal investigation of the transgender couple as inherently discriminatory due to the fact that the expelled and dual- criminally charged couple are of the genderist faith. Are they guilty? Who knows. “Targeted” for investigation? Hardly. The first thought that came into my head when I heard about the death threats was this couple. Trans people really, really like to issue death threats on people who don’t share their gender beliefs. And although according to at least one study trans have a 2/3 rate of criminality and incarceration – a far higher percentage than any other demographic in society, everyone should be considered innocent until proven guilty. Should be an interesting case. Will be updated here.
An unofficial twitter has been set up to track incoming threats and developments in the case:
also a website set up by Andrew Fournaridis, 26, a marketing analyst in Pittsburgh, called Stop The Pitt Bomb Threats.
April 13, 2012
I’d say Gullus Mag does have a “special kind of fan”, I’m surprisingly happy to be one of them. I love your call-sign by the way. It’s very appropriate.
I’ve prepared a speech, might as well leave it here.
Nobody asked for it, and I know my opinion is worth a satchel full of wooden nickels, but I’m giving it anyway. Male entitlement I guess haHA!!
I’m pre-everything M2T. In trying to educate myself on this vomit inducing spectacle we’re all ironically calling the “gender debate” I trudged through all the familiar trans blogs. I was brought here over some mass produced outrage over the great MICH fest debacle. This is my first experience with radical feminism.
At first GM, I thought you were throwing around a bunch of low blows….until I started reading your comments section. This is a nasty piece of work. I do understand where you are coming from though.
We had a TG truck driver in my neck of the prairie rampage all over the woman’s rest room with all the grace and suitably of a rogue elephant. She (giving her the pronoun) terrified a bunch of older women and received a free ass chewing for it by the truck stop’s restaurant manager. I thought the manager was awesome, and had great respect for her; however, hearing the firsthand account my first reaction was “oh, that’s a shame”. NOPE! Lesson learned.
This one time in middle school I threw a girl into a locker. I can’t even remember what it was about. All I recall is I reached deep, found something ugly inside me and rolled with the impulse. Even though we became friends years later, it’s haunted me ever since. That, and a few instances of coercive tactics before I realized that if I’m not attracted to woman anyway, I should “come out” and leave them alone.
I’m stained, and I try so hard to be decent, peace loving person. Based on my experiences I think it’s a crying shame the RadFem position isn’t getting the respect and air-time it so truly deserves. Not like I believe you or anyone else has “a complete grasp of the UNIVERSAL TRUTH”, I don’t think anyone does. However, much of what you say resonates with me.
Is my team seriously blaming you all for anti-trans violence? Like the dudes I work with are reading Transsexual Empire to form their “educated opinions”. That’s funny as hell. Histrionics, melodrama , and threats/actions of violence is no way to respond to an intellectual debate. As far as I’m concerned if someone has a cache of bright and shiny reasons why the Trans community needs to take a long hard look at itself, you don’t get the RIGHT to brush it aside as simple transphobia. Here I expected civility and common decency; maybe you are right …I AM the delusional one. Something reeks on this blog, the stench isn’t coming from the articles you post.
Who decided we should be feminizing/masculinizing the little children? I wish I wasn’t doing this at 32, but give them TIME to decide for themselves. WTF!
Shouldn’t we be fighting for our own stuff, not resources that are going to woman’s needs? Does showing up at the party late in life really entitle me to “go over to your house, track mud all over your carpet, and pass out on your couch”? Can someone PLEASE explain this whole cotton-ceiling thing in a way that doesn’t make my future community (giving them the benefit of the doubt that their intentions might be as pure as the driven snow) not sound utterly incompetent AT BEST? Do folks really believe we’re “more persecuted” than WBW just because there is less of us? That’s funny stuff considering I have to read about a mother’s death every time I open my web-browser.
Do we really need to be in EVERY WBW competition? Is THAT what’s going to make people take us seriously? Who thought this cis-gender crap was a good idea? It makes everyone else sound like villains from Star Wars. If you’re not Jedi M2F/F2M, your Sith Lord gender.
My life-long best friend transitioned last year, she tows the party line like it was some kind of mental to-do list. Frankly, her calling herself a “radical feminist” makes my eye balls itch.
It really frosts my ass when trans people show up here and rant. Honestly, leave GM alone. The sign on the front door told you this wasn’t going to be a happy place for you. You’re not going to change any hearts or minds here so stay off the grass. It seems to me like this discussion FOR a group of people/ ABOUT the life experiences of a group of people is happening in a trench, it is a crying shame.
I’d say it’s a tragedy, A TRAGEDY, that I’ve trundled my happy carcass all over this three ring circus and the two bloggers I come out of it with mad respect for are GM and Cathy B. I’ve missed two therapy sessions, not because I’ve come to see my intentions in wanting to transition is” morally bankrupt” or whatever, but because this stupid us versus them war is giving me an ulcer. LITERALLY! Not to mention I think we’re picking a fight with the wrong people. “Just kill yourself” is a standard internet rebuttal, and I know we’re all supposed to act like jerks over the internet, but I really don’t think we want our dirty laundry aired publicly on this matter. GM probably has a novel worth of shitty behavior, I have a real fear it could come back to haunt us. Not everybody has to like you, get over it, buy a puppy. I’ve found thousands of sites that cater to our community, stay there.
Like I said before, I know expecting my opinion to carry weight with a radical lesbian feminist is an exercise in hilarity. But I think you have a damn nice blog here GM. It’s given me a lot to think about, and I dare say I’ve been challenged, and have grown as a person because of it. I think the work you do here is necessary, and I hate the fact you’ve taken unnecessary heat for it. Who knows, me wishing you a long and happy life might be an exciting change of pace. Have a great day!
April 13, 2012
“I can barely think right now….
I had FFS 9 days ago in Boston. I’m not supposed to decide whether to jump off a cliff for another three months. I posted about this a while ago… the post is probably still on here.
At 9 days I’ve already decided that this is a nightmare. I should have never had FFS. I wasn’t ready to transition. I wanted to be James still too much. There are warning signs all along the way.
April 13, 2012
Originally posted on Sex matters.:
1. Sex and gender are different.
Sex and gender are not spelled alike or pronounced alike. They are two different words with two very different meanings:
According to definitions proposed by the Institute of Medicine (23), “sex” is a biological construct dictated by the presence of sex chromosomes, and in animals and humans, the presence of functional reproductive organs. “Gender” is a cultural construct and refers to behaviors which might be directed by specific stimuli (visual, olfactory, etc) or by psychosocial expectations that result from assigned or perceived sex.
(bold and color added) In pursuit of scientific excellence – sex matters, by Virginia M. Miller. Am J Physiol Heart Circ Physiol, published ahead of print February 10, 2012, doi: 10.1152/ajpheart.00073.2012.
2. Sex does not cause gender.
The presence of female reproductive organs in a particular body does not mean that a person necessarily likes pink, painting her nails, talking about her feelings, and nurturing small children. Sex…
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