Atlas Strawberries- A Place for Trans Detransitioners to Share and Heal
August 24, 2012
“the worst part is, nobody in the community knows who I am anymore, so when I speak my mind and they yell at me, they just say, you don’t know, you’re cis you couldn’t possibly know.
but I know. I know too much and I wish I didn’t.
-anon”
“I’ve spent the last couple of years obsessing over the idea of medically transitioning. For the past few months I’ve spent more and more time analyzing why I felt those things, and I’ve spent a hell of lot less time absolutely hating myself. It’s still a struggle because I’m not completely comfortable with my body, but at least I’m not lying to myself about feeling like a man anymore.
-anon”
“They always say “there’s somebody out there for everybody!’
I have a hard time believing it. At least when I was calling myself a lesbian in the trans community there was this expectation that you could be a bit different, socially speaking. Now, I dunno. I realize now that I’m a heterosexual male. Straight women always want me to be more masculine, more like a real man. It’s not going to happen.
I don’t know, this maybe isn’t all that coherent, it’s just irrational thoughts maybe.
-anon”
“There’s something brutally funny about, hormonally speaking at least, basically being on my third puberty. In all seriousness though, I need my natural hormone production to level out again. Mid twenties is just too damn old for this shit.
-anon”
SUPPORT THIS BLOG:
August 24, 2012 at 11:44 pm
This is good to know about. Thank you, Gallus! I appreciate the men who admit they are het men and stop saying they are “Lesbians.” For those who feel rejected by women choosing to be het because they aren’t “masculine” enough and “real man” enough, they should try to find the women who chase gay men.
August 26, 2012 at 6:51 am
Thank you for sharing this, Gallus. It’s good to see the other side having a space to share messages like this, without being drowned out by the activists who see it as personal attacks.
All too often, people see any deviation from the “trans narrative” as an attack on themselves. It reminds me in many ways of the religious environment I grew up in – to question anything is to question everything. All or nothing.
How much better things could be if the trans community could accept the value in finding truth wherever it may be.
This one really spoke to me:
“Something that I keep hearing over and over and over from so many of the people like me that I’ve talked to, is that starting to transition was the right decision at the time. It’s true for me too. It was absolutely what I needed at the time. Stopping was the right decision as well. I hate that people talk to me like I’m a “failed” transitioner. I just made the decisions I felt I had to make with the information that I had. Can anybody ask for more?”
Transition has saved people’s lives, including mine, when we didn’t see any other other way out. I have the strength and the perspective now not to need it to be happy, and I wish more people would recognize the possibility that they don’t need it, either.
August 27, 2012 at 3:49 am
“Transition has saved people’s lives, including mine, when we didn’t see any other other way out. I have the strength and the perspective now not to need it to be happy, and I wish more people would recognize the possibility that they don’t need it, either.”
I feel the same way to.
August 26, 2012 at 1:19 pm
Thank you for posting this, I’ve been looking for a site like this for a long time.
August 26, 2012 at 9:37 pm
I believe that most of the men wanting to be Lesbians are bored with their het male lives, wives, children, careers, and are basically like entitled spoiled brats. I think most watch too much “Lesbian” porn made by men for men. Some believe they will have more power among women in a women’s community than they do as rather pathetic het men trying to get access to het women. And a few probably do feel confused about not being able to present like how men are expected to be and are obsessed with the shallow images and toys that men say belong to women.
But for those who do feel upset enough to want to “transition,” I think it would be far better for them to focus on what power they do have to oppress but also to help — to think of others and how they could use their privilege to contribute instead of harming women. All I see is self-centeredness and narcissism. What they want, need, demand from women and Lesbians. How we owe them. (Why?) What we should give them. How we should make them more important than any female. How we should continue obeying them to put them first, no matter how that would mean betraying all females.
Even when they decide being trans was a bad choice, it’s still all about them. It’s like a privileged toy to play with or give up, but I never see a deep questioning about what this cult and their decisions do to females, and how they hurt girls and women. It might be easier for them to think more clearly about it all if they just for a moment thought about anyone but themselves.
August 28, 2012 at 1:24 am
” I think it would be far better for them to focus on what power they do have to oppress but also to help — to think of others and how they could use their privilege to contribute instead of harming women.”
What are some ways in which that can be done to contribute?
August 27, 2012 at 3:47 am
Awesome link Gallus I will definitively have to check it in full sometime. I liked the first quote you posted too; I’ve that alot, where if someone detransitions the ones who are physically transitioning will try to deride you and say you’re “just a cis and can’t understand anything.” whatever.
August 28, 2012 at 4:36 am
Ave, I meant to contribute as any man might do, as opposed to demanding women look after them and trying to take what little we still have. There are so many ways that men who say they are less male can help women and fight patriarchy, but they actually seem the most male in how they treat women and in their sense of male entitlement.