January 8, 2013
Rest in peace Fag Hag. And also Rest in peace creepy hetero dude. They’re all “trans men” and “trans women” now. Remember the FagHag? The FruitFly? Those drag-queen-like-women who haunted the gay bars because, although women, felt that gay men were their soulmates? So they dressed up all flaming and shit? Flaming like a layday? They would hang around at last call looking for dudes who would take them home. Like F2T blogger Matt Bailey, who advises females on how to escape the female lot through medicine but who over-plucked her eyebrows as a faghag for so many years that injecting all the testosterone in the world will never remove the surprised lady look from her visage. She’s a “fag” now. A “lady fag” with a ‘gina and all. Second hole. BONUS HOLE yo. Not to pick on “Matt”, but for real: the FagHag era is dead. They are all “transmen” now.
And the creepy hetero dudes. Remember the yucko hetero dudes that haunted the corners of lesbian spaces, uninvited, unwanted, and leering, longingly? They are still there! Only now they are “trans-women”, hopped up on black market estrogen and wearing bad wigs to cover the male pattern baldness.
The last time I went to a lez bar (recently!) there was one in every corner- same as the creepo straight dudes used to be- manning their posts, looking forlorn. Same as it ever was. But they are “women” now.
Straight people have always creeped on gays. Weirdo straight people have always edged into gay and lesbian spaces. Because Gay/Lesbian= Kinky Sexay Times! Never mind that Lesbians and Gays on the whole are fairly average and boring. Oh Noooooooo. It’s the sexayyyyyyyy. It’s the “not straight”! So Faaaaabulous.
Now we get creepy straight faghags like Stephen Ira (Katherine Elizabeth) Beatty and creepy hetero dudes like Tobi Hill-Meyer (and a million other dudes) inflicting themselves on gays (who ‘aint having it so much) and lesbians (who are under a deluge of these fucking bastards). Because= Jendur!
I propose this day, January 8, arbitrarily, as the FagHag and Creepy Straight Dude day of remembrance in the Lesbian and Gay community. Goodbye FagHags! GoodBye Creepy Lurking Straight dudes ! Oh Haiiiiii Trans “allies to the lesbian and gay community” !