http://gendertrender.wordpress.com/2011/12/15/action-alert-eliminate-and-prosecute-reddit-pedophiles/

Thanks to your action and support, today the Reddit site banned all sexual content featuring minors. The notification as posted (click to enlarge):

THANK YOU to EVERYONE who participated in the Action against Reddit. Congratulate yourselves- Our objective was met. Victory against the sexualized exploitation of children has been achieved. NICE WORK EVERYONE!

Buh-Bye Pedo scumbags! Go back to hell where you belong!

Thank you to Kathrin for forwarding the hot off the presses capped update.

NICE WORK!

Very Big Book

I’m starting this post in response to fmnst’s excellent suggestion, which was:

February 10, 2012 at 10:33 am e

I would like to request some help from everyone – for all of us.

First,

I’m re-submitting my request to GallusMag to create a post (today!) of things that trans have complained are “transphobic!” Even if it is just to ask *us* to list such things, in the comments below, so that it isn’t a big project for GM. (Please stop holding out on me, babe.) Let me know if there is any way I can help.

Then, via our submissions in the comments, we can all begin building what will become the basis for a draft of things labeled “transphobic!” Purpose: to create an email/handout for activists, electeds, policy makers, guilt-tripped liberals, and anyone else to see how anything and everything has apparently been the recipient of that epithet, to the point of it really being meaningless and not to be intimidated by.

Second,

I (we) need a pamphlet! Since I started reading this blog a few months ago, the info that GM has so kindly and brilliantly assembled for us, and all of the insights from GM and rest of you here in comments, have really gotten me alarmed about transpolitics on the move, everywhere, with political inroads, coalitions built, and precedents being set that can eventually cause SERIOUS, MAJOR erosion of women’s rights.

Tonight I attended a meeting of a local public women’s commission, and in idle conversation with a commissioner afterward, inarticulately warned that women really need to watch out about trans politics, they could really erode women’s rights. She asked for an example (in 2 seconds or less, as is the case with most activists/appointees/electeds) which I could’t provide that quickly. Opportunity lost.

I told her the name of this blog, but I’m sure she doesn’t have time to read it, she’s so busy in her volunteer position dealing with dozens of issues, and running her business.

If we want to influence activists and policy makers, we need to have a concise, well written pamphlet with our position, the basic issues laid out about the problems and threats of TG politics, with examples of alarming laws and precedents being set.

Is there any article (or blog post) that would fill the bill? Or can we have a second blog post from you, GM, in which, in our comments, we can to list/outline the issues to include in our own pamphlet, and examples we can use? We could basically draft the pamphlet in the comments section, then send it around.

Would you please create a blog post to allow us to do this, too, GM?

What do you all think?

Thank you.

—————————–

Please leave your suggestions/entries in comments.

Spinsterella has already started the list:

“transphobic” :

- lesbians who don’t want to fuck transwomen who still have cocks
- female-only space (Michfest, Rape Relief in Vancouver, women’s public restrooms, women’s sports)
- talking about abortion as a women’s issue
- saying that women don’t have penises
- talking about femininity as a tool of the patriarchy
- anything that criticizes gender identity or trans politics in any way
- anything that points out the obvious differences between FAB women and M2Ts (like menstruation, fear of pregnancy)
- tampon commercials
- drag queens
- mentioning male privilege in reference to M2Ts

I’m sure I can think of a lot more, but that’s what I came up with so far off the top of my head.

————————————————–

Let’s see what we can all come up with!

For females, being transgender means:

I am no longer treated with disrespect.

My opinions are not discounted.

I am listened to when I speak.

I do not have to behave deferentially. To anyone. Ever.

I don’t have to smile. And my not smiling does not indicate unhappiness or unfriendliness or disagreement.

I can make declarative statements without being regarded as an uppity bitch.

When I tell you what is wrong with your car and how to fix it you will believe me.

My competence to lift, transport, move, manipulate, repair is never questioned.

I am never told I am moving too quickly or being too efficient.

Women I date insist on cleaning my house, doing my laundry, cooking me food if they observe that I am incompetent at these tasks.(Being a slob, who can’t cook and turns all the whites gray in the laundry simply means that I need a woman’s touch, not that I am a bum or lack in self care.)

I am expected- and encouraged- to be strong and competent and praised for it.

I can express anger- even inappropriately- and it won’t be taken personally but simply be regarded as having a bad day. (Poor guy!)

It’s considered natural that I have no interest in children or babies or your favorite fucking tv show.

I can simply nod, once, by way of answering a question or to express understanding. And I am not considered curt for doing so.

I can do a chin nod to other guys.

I can be quiet and reflective during social interactions without that meaning that something is “wrong”.

I will be promoted over other females for doing less work.

I can make all the mistakes I want and no one questions my competency.

I can walk down the street at night and not worry about being raped.

I do not fear the man walking behind me, unless he wants to take my wallet.

Shopkeepers and retail clerks are quick to help me, and never question if I’m sure about what I want to buy.

My auto mechanic doesn’t rip me off. Contractors don’t rip me off.

I’m assumed to be competent at technical tasks.

My boss assumes I want a raise.

When I show someone how to do something better they appreciate my thoughtfulness and kind advice.

Other guys always give me their tips and the benefit of their experience.

When I’m stupid I’m affectionately considered a jar-headed lunk instead of an idiot or a fool.

Guys never stare at me, follow me with their eyes, or turn their head to watch me go by. They don’t surveil me.

No one cares what I wear. Nothing is ever horribly inappropriate. If I showed up at a funeral in a Hawaiian shirt it is assumed that due to circumstances I did not have time to change.

My haircut is no real reflection on my personality.

My assertiveness is not seen as aggression.

I can be sexually aggressive.

I can be sexually receptive without being submissive.

I can be submissive without being weak.

If I perform femininity it expresses edginess and security in my masculine power.

No matter how nelly I act other guys are never entirely secure that I won’t take their eye out if they step to me.

If I don’t want to “talk about my feelings” no one thinks I am withholding.

Men I don’t know don’t touch me.

Males never think they are being kind by speaking in a condescending tone to me or as if I am a fragile retarded child.

I’m considered a stud, not a whore.

After that first date with a woman I’m expected to make the first call. I can call if I want, or not. If I call the next evening I’m attentive. If I call three weeks later I’m a mysterious wild-card and put on the booty-call list.

If I get hot I can take off my shirt. I can feel the sun on my back without wearing a sling to cover my dirty pillows.

No one cares that I don’t shave any part of my body.

No one is even thinking about my body.

Strangers don’t feel free to offer comment on my appearance.

I pay ten bucks for a haircut with a two dollar tip.

If I stink it means I am a hard worker.

If I stand up for a woman, or women’s rights it’s because I’m a great guy, not a harping nagging feminazi manhating bitch.

When I fart and belch it’s endearing.

I can leave my drink on the bar when I go to pee, because no one is going to drug and rape me.

When my car breaks down far from home in the middle of the night my only worry is being robbed.

If I get arrested I will not be placed in general population.

I do not have to register for the draft.

I was a lesbian but now I am seen as a normal heterosexual.

Liberal straight people who know of my past embrace me as a symbol of their respect for diversity.

I have been hired for jobs by employers who want to display their LGBT cred.

I have an international network of activists and legal teams at my disposal at all times to ensure I am not treated as a female, nor as a regular guy.

Lesbians give me special accommodation for my need to distance myself from them.

Feminists critiquing genderism give me a soft touch because they understand why I would make the decision to escape the lot of females.

Everyone: males, females, gay, straight, liberal, conservative, can understand why I would rather not be treated as female.

Someone dropped me a line about a show they saw on the National Geographic Channel this week called “Taboo: Secret Lives”. I’ve never seen the show, but apparently they featured a woman who “had a secret”, and the secret was that she was a fake paraplegic. That’s right! The woman went around in a wheelchair pretending to have a spinal injury- fooling everyone. The woman who contacted me just couldn’t believe that a female would do such a thing. She was certain that the woman (although they never mentioned it on the show) must be a male transgender. And she was right.

The copy from the National Geographic website reads:

“Chloe Jennings-White leads a double life. A Ph.D chemist in Salt Lake City, Utah, Chloe lives as a paraplegic in a wheelchair. For the most part, people believe that Chloe is unable to walk, but she has a shocking secret. Chloe isn’t paraplegic at all.  She is not a paraplegic, but chooses to live as one.”

What they fail to mention is that he is also a man who “chooses to live as” a woman, as well as pretending to be paraplegic.

According to the LATimes he was Clive Jennings-White up until at least 2003, a PHD in organic chemistry working for Pherin and Realm Pharmaceuticals at the time, both pheromone companies, and holder of multiple pharmaceutical patents, mostly artificial pheromones.

Now working at Human Pheromone Sciences Inc in Salt Lake City Utah , a phermone marketer. He also claims to be employed and have his own laboratory and office at the University of Utah Neuropsychiatric Institute, in the ECT wing.

He was born in 1955 and grew up in England, obtaining a doctorate from Cambridge, was a married hetero male and father to two sons. Became a Fullbright Scholar and post-doctoral fellow at Stanford and did research at the University of Utah Department of Psychiatry (!).

Not only that, but when he is not busy posting crazy-ass videos of his fake lesbian significant-other Danielle Sainte-Marie (also a transgender male) and faking paraplegia and disability he is an extensive mountain climber and hiker:  http://www.peakbagger.com/climber/ClimbListC.aspx?cid=4163

Cancer survivor and disability activist blogger Sara K. at Ready Pink and Able (unaware that Chloe is actually male) writes:

“Why haven’t doctors put her on psych meds?  She is completely delusional.  I know, she has BIID.  Does this mean, we just accept her fraud?  If I expressed a desire to be an African American, no doctor would find it appropriate to counsel me to walk around in “black face”.  Why is it that Chloe gets the benefit of a disorder with which to label herself???  Where is the outrage?  Am I the only one who feels ill at the very thought of this woman and her deception?  We all scream for blood when we find that someone fakes a cancer diagnosis!  That’s horrible…just disgusting.  Somehow this woman has gotten a pass because she has a disorder.  I am sick with anxiety and anger.  I really am sick.  I have participated in autopsies and multiple bloody patient encounters which didn’t make me ill.  I have performed incision and drainage procedures which included copious amounts of pus.  None of it caused me to vomit. However, this story caused my chest to tighten, breath to quicken, and my stomach to churn with an unbelievable ferocity.  The anxiety that remains, even now, is so strong that I can only hope for recovery.  My outrage may live for a while in this case.  Does anyone blame me?  Frankly, I don’t care…I’m not even attempting to veil my feelings here.”

On the Transabled.org website Chloe describes his dream of becoming genuinely disabled as a form of “transition”. His partner Danielle aka Alicia (because just one fake persona is never enough apparently) posts in the same thread to a guy who describes seeking a back alley surgeon that will “snip” his spine: “Much support to you as you move towards authenticity!”- using the identical language adopted by the transgenderist movement.

Not only that but Chloe brags about how he got a physician to write a letter authorizing him to get a handicapped parking space even though the doctor knows he is not handicapped, and he instructs the others on how they can do the same, the better to enjoy taking handicapped parking spaces from genuinely handicapped people.

Some threads on Chloe from a Spinal Injury Forum:

http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/showthread.php?t=176092

http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/showthread.php?t=175081

(sample comment: “I feel like someone needs to break her neck.”)

Presumably Chloe was able to stop the National Geographic from mentioning his recent “Gender Transition” in the show featuring his emerging “Transabled Transition” as a condition of his appearance. Which is unfortunate for a couple of reasons. First of all, there is a strong correlation between Body Integrity Identity Disorder (BIID)- the urge to pretend one is, or fantasize about actually becoming handicapped- and transgenderism.

In fact, researchers who have formerly studied Gender Identity Disorder (before the transgender political lobby began to stifle alternative treatment research) are now studying BIID in hope that the science will support non-invasive treatments for all forms of bodily identity disorder.

From this Newsweek article on BIID:

“Some conservative voices in the medical community feel that the normalization of sex-change surgeries was the start of a slippery slope. “You keep pushing the envelope of impaired people who aren’t in touch with reality in some fashion, who develop ideas about their normalcy,” says Dr. Mark Schiller, a psychiatrist and past president of the Association of American Physicians and Surgeons. “Essentially from just claiming that something’s the case, people just accept somebody’s distorted version of reality and then we get surgeons and others responding to the point of mangling normal bodies.”

The second reason it is unfortunate the show failed to mention the fact that Chloe is male is that this is yet another instance where outrageous male behavior is being reported as female behavior.  As I said before, when a “woman” was reported to be living her life as an “adult baby”, messing herself and selling porn about it (and “she” turned out to be a dude): when you hear about a female doing something really wack, or read about it in a newspaper or on a website, and it just “doesn’t sound right” to you: It’s probably a male transgender.

What would happen if we replaced the word “gender” with the word “sexism”?

For example:

Gender Dysphoria = Sexism Dysphoria

Gender Identity = Sexist Stereotype Identity

Gender Affirmation Surgery = Sexism Affirmation Surgery

Gender Transition = Sex Role Stereotype Transition

Genderqueer = Sexistqueer

Transgender = Cross-Sex-Stereotype

Gender Reassignment = Stereotypical Sex Role Reassignment 

Transphobia = Sexism-phobia

Well let’s have a look:

A selection of Wikipedia excerpts, replacing the word “gender” with “sexism”:

Corrections are in blue:

Transgender ”Cross-sex-stereotype” is the state of one’s “gender identity”  sexist stereotype (self-identification as woman, man, neither or both a sex stereotype) not matching one’s “assigned sex” (identification by others as male, female or intersex based on physical/genetic sex).[1] “Transgender” “Cross-sex-stereotype” does not imply any specific form of sexual orientation; transgender Cross-sex-stereotypical people may identify as heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, pansexual, polysexual, or asexual; some may consider conventional sexual orientation labels inadequate or inapplicable to them. The precise definition for transgender cross-sex-stereotypism remains in flux, but includes:

0.”Of, relating to, or designating a person whose identity does not conform unambiguously to conventional notions of male or female gender roles  sex stereotypes, but combines sexist stereotypes or moves between these.”[2]

0.”People who were assigned a sex sex role stereotype, usually at birth and based on their genitals, but who feel that this is a false or incomplete description of themselves.”[3]

0.”Non-identification with, or non-presentation as, the sex sex stereotype (and assumed gender  sex role stereotype ) one was assigned at birth.”[4]

A transgender  cross-sex-stereotype individual may have characteristics that are normally associated with a particular gender  sexist stereotype, identify elsewhere on the traditional gender sexist stereotype continuum, or exist outside of it as “other”, “agender” “asexist-stereotype“, “Genderqueer” “Sexist stereotype queer” , or “third gender” “third sexist stereotype”. Transgender Cross-sexist stereotype people may also identify as bigender bi-sexist stereotypes, or along several places on either the traditional transgender sexist stereotype continuum, or the more encompassing sexist stereotype continuums which have been developed in response to the significantly more detailed studies done in recent years.[5]

The term transgender (TG) was popularised in the 1970s[6] (but implied in the 1960s[7][8]) describing people who wanted to live cross-gender  cross-sexist stereotypical role without sex reassignment surgery sexism confirmation surgery.[9] In the 1980s the term was expanded to an umbrella term,[10] and became popular as a means of uniting all those whose gender identity sexist stereotypes did not mesh with their gender sexist stereotype assigned at birth.[11]

People who live cross-gender cross-sex-stereotypes

People who live cross-gender cross-sexist stereotypes live always or mostly as the gender sexist stereotype other than that assigned at birth. If they want to be or identify as their gender sexist stereotype assigned at birth, then the term “crossdresser”[46] may be used. If they want to be or identify as the gender sex role stereotype they always or mostly live in, then the term “transsexual” may be used.[30] The term “transgender”[47][48][49] or “transgenderist”[50] has been applied to people who live cross-gender cross-sexist stereotypes without sex reassignment surgery sexism confirmation surgery.

Transgender people Sex stereotypists and feminism

Some feminists and feminist groups are supportive of transgender sexist people. Others are not.

Though second-wave feminism argued for the sex and gender sexist stereotype distinction, some feminists believed there was a conflict between transgender identity sexist stereotypes and the feminist cause. These feminists believed, for example, that male-to-female sex stereotype transition abandoned or devalued female identity biological reality, and that trangender sexist stereotype embracing people embraced traditional gender sexist roles and stereotypes. Many transgender cross-sex-stereotype embracing feminists, however, viewed themselves as contributing positively to feminism by questioning and subverting gender sexist stereotype norms. Third wave and contemporary feminism have tended to be more accepting of transgender sexist stereotype embracing people.[57]

Feminist writer Janice Raymond asserts that sex determines gender  sex, and that there is no practical difference between the two. In her view, genitalia or “birth sex” or chromosomes deeply and permanently determine one’s essential identity sex as a woman or man; trying to violate this divide is impossible, unnatural, and unhealthy. She argues that while transpeople sexists may claim to feel like a certain gender sexist stereotype, only a biological female can genuinely feel what it is to occupy a woman’s body, including having experiences such as childbirth.[58]

Transgender Sexist stereotype embracing people and the law

Legal procedures exist in some jurisdictions allowing individuals to change their legal gender sex, or their sexist stereotypical name, to reflect their gender identity  sexism. Requirements for these procedures vary from an explicit formal diagnosis of transsexualism, to a diagnosis of gender sexist identity disorder, to a letter from a physician attesting to the individual’s gender sexist stereotype transition, or the fact that one has established a different gender sexist stereotype role.[71]

Transphobia Sexism-phobia (or less commonly cissexism feminism, trans sex stereotype prejudice, and trans dude-misogyny, referring to transphobia directed toward trans-women sexist men or trans lady-misandry, referring to transphobia sexism-phobia directed toward trans men sexist women) is a range of negative attitudes and feelings towards transsexualism and transsexual or transgender  sexist and sexist stereotype embracing people, based on the expression of their internal gender identity sexism (see Phobia – terms indicating prejudice or class discrimination). Whether intentional or not, transphobia sex stereotype-phobia can have severe consequences for the target of the negative attitude. Many trans sexist stereotype embracing people also experience homophobia from people who associate their gender identity  cross-sex stereotypes with homosexuality.

Some members of the LGBT communities are uncomfortable with transgender sexist stereotyping individuals and issues. For example, trans women men are sometimes denied entry to women’s spaces, an attitude which Transgender Sexist activists consider to be trans sexism-phobic. The Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival, for instance, has caused much debate for limiting its attendance to “womyn-born womyn”.[12]

Womyn-born-womyn

Janice Raymond, Mary Daly and Sheila Jeffreys, among others, argue that the feminist movement should not concern itself in any way with the needs of trans women sex-stereotype embracing males. The idea that only “womyn-born-womyn” can fully identify with the experience of being a woman conflicts with the concept that “biology does not equal destiny”. Opponents argue that excluding trans women sex-stereotype embracing males from women’s spaces denies sex stereotype embracing males their right to self-identification.

"Little Boy in a Red Dress" William Matthew Prior (1806-1873)

Interesting article in the Telegraph about the controversial experimental sterilization treatments being conducted on Lesbian and Gay children by the UK’s National Health Service, and how ongoing transgender campaigns of harassment against researchers are preventing scientists from addressing difficult questions about the efficacy –and the ethics- of such treatments.

From the article:

“The operations are being paid for by the taxpayers, although I don’t think that’s the issue. If the state can pay several thousands to save a person from a life of misery and eventual suicide then I for one think that is money well-spent. And yet the strange thing is that, taking aside the fact that “blockers” may affect cognitive ability and bone density, there’s actually no accepted medical proof or consensusthat sex change operations actually help someone’s mental health; we may one day find that it does, but we simply don’t know enough at the moment.

Yet that hasn’t stopped the growth of a political orthodoxy that boys and girls are sometimes born into the wrong bodies – their gender does not match their physical sex – and that this is best fixed by hormone treatment and/or surgery later in life; and that anyone who finds this uncomfortable suffers themselves from a psychological condition, apparently, called transphobia.

This is the only explanation acceptable to the media and, indeed, the state, which spends a fair deal of money (which we don’t have) combating transphobia. Yet at the moment science is still quite confused about Gender Identity Disorder, and what is acceptable to say about it is constrained by taboo and threats, and academics who argue against the standard political narrative tend to get persecuted.”

Of course there are over a hundred comments on the article by the usual suspects: straight middle-aged men who adopted a transgender lifestyle (at least online) after decades of male privilege, heterosexual marriage, and careers. They echo the thoughts of career-military man turned trans-activist Autumn Sandeen when he states that the future of the entire transgender movement should be based on the meme of “transgender children”, because it “take[s] the sex right out of the trans experience”.

Sandeen: “ I’ve always said there are two groups that are going to make change in transgender legislation and the “gender identity and expression” related language in legislation. It’s going to be trans youth because they take, you know, they demystify it and take the sex right out of the trans experience.”

Trans Youth Famly Allies director Kim Pearson: “They do. They do.”

Sandeen: “And then, transgender veterans – or people doing service like police. But it’s going to be military, veterans, police, fire, those kind of folks who are serving to send a message- especially veterans. It’s hard to tell a veteran, you know, “we don’t appreciate your service because you’re transgender”.

Adult transgenders use children because they have decided that using children obscures sexism and the sexualized/fetish aspect of the majority of the trans movement. And what creates more sympathy than a suffering child?

Pay no attention to the 50 year old retired military police officer with anger management problems who wants to share a dorm room with your seventeen year old daughter because he demands his “right” to a pretend-girlhood he’s always masturbated about.

Pay no attention to the convicted serial child predator who demands his “right” to sit in a hottub full of children in a women’s locker room because of his “gender identity”.

Pay no attention to the ingrained culture of pedomorphisis practiced by the very adults who promote these treatments on children and shout down academic medical and scientific study.

Pay no attention to the children who are committing suicide after graduating from “transgender youth” programs.

Pay no attention to the teen-aged transitioners now filled with regret.

Pay no attention to decades of intersex activism from people with first-hand knowledge of the damage done from performing medical “corrections” and experimentation on minor children.

Pay no attention that this treatment causes unstudied changes in brain growth, insulin resistance, bone density as well as lifetime sterilization, “elective disablility” and drug dependence of gender-noncompliant children.

Pay no attention to the fact that there has never been a SINGLE follow-up study on the youth who have been medically experimented upon in the name of “gender” AND that activist groups funded by adult transgenders to actively lobby for such experiments on children REFUSE to participate in any of the proposed international research BECAUSE WHAT LITTLE RESEARCH HAS BEEN DONE on gender-noncompliant children into adulthood CONTRADICTS THESE TREATMENTS.

.

“Woman”:

Seriously, People talk to me now and I talk to them. As a woman I am not seen as a threat. 

The freedom to feel freely. The freedom to love freely. The freedom to emote freely.

Oh, yeah, the clothes … the accessories … the fragrances … the spa treatments … the sunbathing … the girl talk … the sandals … the shopping … the dining …. well, YOU KNOW!!! Uhhh, feelin’ good, lookin’ good, smellin’ good … hee hee!

To me, womanhood indicates less competition amongst peers. I see less of the “urinating contests” among women than I do men. Also, I feel that allowing for more personal vanity is more in line with my own identity, rather than the limited avenues for expression I find men allow themselves(generally speaking, that is). I’d rather be a part of a group of sisters that fuss at each other but still love each other(and aren’t afraid to say it like it is), than be part of any “brotherhood” where the guiding philosophy seems to be “Every man for himself, unless it’s to my advantage(and ONLY my advantage, not yours) to help you”. Yes, that’s stereotyping. Yes, that’s not how all men are. I understand that. On the other hand, why do women complain about men if there aren’t things about them that exasperate… well, anyone else, for that matter? Something at the core of masculinity is at odds with who I am so much, that I simply CANNOT move in men’s circle’s anymore. I tried, I honestly did. The end result for me is that, in the immortal words of my dear Lizzie here, “Girl world beats the hell outta guy world!” Why? Because it’s just not where I belong, and I never will understand why anyone would allow themselves to be caught in that kind of circus of competitiveness.

Bleah. I like glamour. And if it doesn’t make life better for me in some way, don’t bother me with it.

I really appreciate that I can express my emotions, good or bad, and ask for support when I need it. I also like a lot, getting and giving hugs to women, men whatever. I like being able to say “oh, that’s sooo cute”. I like that I can enjoy the full spectrum of color. I like that I can dress according to how I feel with few boundaries. I like flowers. I like taking care of myself. I like taking care of others. All without worrying what someone else might think.

That my personality, animations/expressions, and typing/phrasing won’t be “weird.”  Example: my World of Warcraft guild thought I was actually female (I played a female Night Elf until recently…race changed her to a Worgen) from the way I typed, until one of my RL friends called me by my real name in chat…’twas awkward…especially for the lesbian guildie that wanted to get to know me more!

#1 never having to follow the man code ever again…being able to show non sexual afection to a friend without being seen as gay. The huge amount of hugs. Being able to speak with others on an emotional level. The cloths , cloths , cloths , cloths…did i happen to metion cloths…lol..Being able to finaly express myself any way I desire. No longer having to worry about how i walk, talk , move , body language..finaly its who I am.

The female libido. I absolutely HATED having a male libido. I’m so happy with how it is for me now, I haven’t lost interest in sexuality, but it’s a much different experience. There’s so much more adventure and imagination to it now. I wish I could get my hands on some good romance novels, because I think I could really appreciate them. My sister had a bunch when I was younger, and I actually thumbed through one that I wish I could find now, but I don’t remember the author or title.

If being a male I could wear cute pjs after shower, use fresh soap and aromatic candles, sleep with plushies, tackle hug my friends without them feel weirded, solve problems with a smile, sing with my voice which I love without freaking people, wear my hair long and style it as I want, like everything I like from my chococat cushions to cooking for my brother or chatting casually with my boyfriend, express emotions, be happy when I want to be happy, cry when I feel sad, let out a squee when something supercute appears… if I could look like me and not like a hairy bear, and wouldn’t have to play those ‘one more than you’ games guys usually play… maybe I wouldn’t have a problem being a male. But I think the person I just described would be what we normally call female.

The thing I think about most is being able to have friends that I can relate to.

I think the two thing I like most is being able to get all dolled up with the nails done, and get a beautiful dress and nice heels and hopefully one day to become that girl that walks into a room and people stop what they re doing just to look at you, i dont know if that superficial but I think that be special. Second is the friend ships that girls have with each other, un like the kind that guys have where they call eachother names and make fun of eachother for entertainment.

for me its expressing yourself however you want and the clothes soo much cuter and more comfortable.

I love being told by a man that I’m pretty.  And although its only been once so far, I love the feeling I got (all the way down to my toes) when a man kissed me.

I love the way I look in the morning when my makeup is fresh and my skin is soft and smooth. I love being able to have a conversation with almost any woman anywhere and feel like I fit right in, even if its talk about periods and hot flashes.  I love being free to show any emotion I please, anywhere I please. I love belonging to the “woman’s club.” And yes, I love shopping.

Oh my god yes! Shopping! I love shopping, even if it’s just for groceries. I don’t know if that’s exclusively a woman thing though….in fact, my wife hates shopping.

I can add to the man thing you mentioned. If I were single, of course, I’ve always kind of wanted to be picked up and carried by a big strong man, …Or even just being playful and being carried piggyback, but in a romantic playful sort of way.

Before transition I really envied the interaction between girls. I always felt an outsider when amongst a group of them. They just treated me differtly than they do each other. Once I went full-time I totally fell right into that. Now i think I kind of take it for granted. Then before surgery, I just really wanted my underwear to fit:)

Openness with feelings, and being involved with litttle gossip and conversation that I never was able to do as a male. A new ease in talking to people. OH YEAH, my second GREAT adolescence thats going the right way!!

For me i think of of the biggest things is that I that girl i see in the mirror SO much better than that ugly guy that used to be there (I wonder if her just got transfered to another mirror…). and I like the fact that I can now be social. I used to be so uncomfortable in social situations, but now I can follow my girly instincts and have a good time.

now as far as everything else …

Spandex in clothes is great

having to iron not so much

having a purse with all you stuff and not having to worry about leaving stuff in pockets is a win

but not having a pocket for those times you really need one, not good

Shoes Shoes Shoes!!!

now if they would just come in my size…

not being expected to keep up with sports.. so great

you know there really isn’t any down side to that one…

The clothes are more fun, the designs, the colors, the textures, etc but I think what I yearn for the most about being a girl is to be treated like one. I want to be a daughter, a sister, an auntie, a mother. I want to be able to be in a group of girls and be one of them because I identify alot more with them than I do with guys. I usually feel akward in a group of guys somehow, like uncomfortable, when they start talking ‘guy talk’. But put me in a group of girls and I instantly click, except for the fact that they see me as another guy =/

I wanna have a relationship with people as a girl but when I’m alone, I want to be able to look in the mirror and see a confident, beautiful, strong woman that I know is in there.

I can stop asking “Would a guy do this?” before every action I do. I can stop paying attention to things that don’t interest me so I can make small talk. I can stop pretending I’m lost in the women’s sections of stores. (I must have an awful sense of direction). I can start talking to who I want about what I want. (At my kid’s basketball games, one of the mom’s is a great dresser. while dads talk sports, I’d love to talk to her about her outfits, but…)

Motherhood, I love children and caring for them. I think carrying a child and giving birth would be the ultimate womanly experience. I have gotten as close as I can in this life with my family, perhaps somewhere beyond this existence my dream will come true. I always loved interacting with the other Mom’s when I was in Mom # 2 mode doing things with our kids as they grew. Raising and caring for children is especially gratifying to me. I have always loved listening to and participating in women’s conversations, there is a special bond between them and warmth I never really could experience in the male world (so cold at times).

honestly its breasts and long hair… i always wanted breasts and long hair. i just started growing my hair long and i have a really good padded bra(a lil poor right now for proper breast forms so i make due) for when i go out i got really curly hair so i like to straigten it

I have grown rather fond of the fact that I can wear whatever I want and have it considered tasteful/fashionable instead of just plain “wierd” when I am out in the world.

‘ll finally be able to say I bought one of my favorite guitars off eBay because it was purple with an awesome ivy neck inlay rather than “it was a parts guitar that I happened to like the way it plays!” Also, I’ll finally be able to show interest in clothes (already have my “first day out” outfit picked out!) and be able to style my hair without question

For me it’s a love-hate relationship. I love being able to talk to most of my friends about almost anything and I love that they reveal intimate details about their lives to me. It’s part of being in the club. lol. What I don’t like is if someone doesn’t talk to me, but I learned earlier in my transition that some women just really don’t like other women so they won’t befriend them, talk to them, or even look at them. They prefer the company of guys because, in their mind, guys aren’t catty or back-stabby like women are. Although I’m not catty or back-stabby I guess since I’m perceived as female I’m automatically lumped into that category.

I love the attention I get when I put in the effort to look amazing, both from other women and men. ..then again I seethe when I see guys trip over their feet just to have a chance to talk to “that cute blonde over there”.

I love being able to talk to my friends and guys nearby have no clue what the heck we’re talking about or just chalk it up to girl talk and they just roll their eyes. Or if a couple guys are sitting around talking and there’s maybe two or three girls nearby listening we can talk amongst ourselves or look over at the other girl and without saying a word have a conversation about whoever is yammering on about some trucker tale

Humm…. for me, part of it have o do with clothes, to wear anything you want regardless how it looks compar to males they care about the apparents of male means to them that it has too look and seem masculine enough for them to waer it so they don’t preseen as gay. Than there’s that womenly bonding you have with other women. To be able to shear any thoughts and feeling. Just don’t over do it cause it like another thing it get aynoring after a while. Shear and talking about relationship and sexual info, which is funny. There is not much different in ways other females communicate like men do just a little different even tho its still girl talk. As far as relationnship goes as I an single. I was dating and I love to express my intreset in the guy, let him be a man that he is. I love to show passionate affection towards him and sexually. Love how they want to provide and protect you. Love to be swept off my feet. I like how guys can be a gentalmen and hold the door for you, and let you in first, and want to help you with certain things. I certian ly hate doing alot of thing when a was a boy and still get treated the same way by my family thinking I still muscle which I don’t anymore. I’m weak now. Like help move Heavy funitures and doing manly work outside. I hated it, even wearing a suit I just wanted to rip it off and wear a dress or not go at all to any formal event. As Iv been out and full time I’m still not included in any female event with the women in my family.

I finally feel like when I talk to someone…they are on the same level. Knowing you are conversing in a way that is congruent with who you are after suppressing that for almost 30 years is just a mega sigh of relief.

I just want to be able to talk to women and not have them feel like they can’t be honest with me or let their guard down because I’m a “man”.

For me it is the freedom to not feeling like I have to live up to standards that don’t fit me. the clothes are nice as well.

Actually the fact that i haven’t worn pants in well over a year. No i don’t go bottomless, i wear skirts and dresses everyday.

Yeah, it’ll be nice to not have to try to be a part of the “ol’ boys club” or try to be hypermasculine and whatnot. It’ll be such a relief to not be expected to laugh at fart jokes or Larry the Cable Guy… Oh yeah, I can wear me some purple, too! (I had to say I liked the Utah Jazz in high school to wear purple [I wore team shirts...]…I freakin’ hate basketball! But I love football and baseball…GO BENGALS AND CUBBIES!)

Being able to express emotions without shame.

Dress the way you want to dress.

Being able to look at guys without getting creepy “what the intercourse” feedback look.

I like the fact that you have so much to choose from in dress from casual to dress up dress down cloths but Ifeel if you are trully a a woman you want everyone around you to notice you be it looks, appearance your. I want everyone to see me notice me for me maybe Ill be a woman of mystery.

I think I would have to answer that it is strength. And being seen as strong physically for my age as well as spiritually and mentally.

The mental and emotional is a two edged sword in my opinion and can become a trap but I still value it. And being physically strong-not a muscle man or anything, just strong -has always been important to me. Perhaps because I am exceedingly independent and being strong means I can take care of my needs myself. And help others when they need it. Kind of eye opening to realize that is what I value as a masculine trait. Of course there is integrity and all that implies and it is more important to me than strength but I don’t see it as a male characteristic. I really don’t tend to define a lot in terms of gender except strength and forthrightness. Being very direct and I also value that in myself. I have always been told I was more masculine than feminine that way so it must be a male trait by society’s definition anyway.

In a way this is hard because I don’t want to be a man because I particularly value or desire things about being a man. I just am. Guess I’ll have to stick with being strong. Everything else pretty much is the same for men and women except expressed differently. I also love not caring so much about appearance. People understand now if I wear the same soft old shirt all the time. Laundered and put right back on. And my jeans that feel so natural. No real concern if something is a current fashion and no accessorizing. Comfort rules the day. Yeah -I like that. A lot. My inner slob can come out and play-at least at home.

To me a man is a provider and a protector and by this I don’t mean that the woman is helpless, it’s a primal and natural feeling for me and I want to take care of the woman I care about as well as my woman friends but that is a different kind of relationship. Honesty and being dependable and this means true to myself regardless of the challenges and being there for my friends and the woman I love unconditionally. Being that rock for your woman when her world is falling apart and she may take it out on you but it is because she knows you will be there for her.

Assertiveness and independence. To me knowing I can take care of myself and I am a take charge of guy is important. I am talking about being confident and not controlling and about being decisive.

For me, I think it’s about being able to help people physically. I actually find charity work to be fun, but every time I volunteer somewhere, I get put with children, or put to work doing something equally feminine…it’s not really about being seen as masculine, though. At school, when the janitors need help moving the wrestling mats, I want them to think, “Oh, Jesse’ll help!”. Instead, when I OFFER to help (I actually did help them move the mats once, and I did just fine) what they tell me is, “Oh, let’s leave it to the guys” ….even if the guys don’t wanna do it. The only reason I got to help the one time was because my English teacher is feminist and started to out-and-out argue with the principal, who was present. I just want to be able to help people like that. I don’t like kids, and I don’t appreciate people assuming that I do well with them because they think I’m a woman. I like being able to help people do things that they can’t do themselves, and I like offering my assistance to others. People often assume I can’t help them, though, because “I’m not a guy”

Seriously, I just want to fit in. I am an outgoing person and men just seem to be able to kibitz and joke the way I do. Does this makes sense?

I want it to finally be okay when I throw a great spiral; I’m tired of other guys slinking off because they think they’re being one-upped by a girl.

Seriously, like John, I see myself as a provider and a protector. I look forward to other people seeing me that way. I’m also looking forward to people looking at me in approval when I roughhouse with my kids instead of tsk-tsking that that’s not how women are supposed to act.

I wonder how the outward gender change will affect people’s outlook on me as a solo parent. Most of the single moms I know still face some kind of stigma; I know a few full-time single dads who get loads of praise for raising children alone.

I also look forward to being like all the other guys I grew up around who flirt harmlessly with women (I don’t know how to explain it … the Southern man thing where they can casually wink at a woman and it’s charming, not creepy or seen as trying to hard … you have to see it to understand it) and tell great stories, etc. I know those are things women can do, but I’ve never felt free enough to to do them while being seen as a female. The funny thing about this is as I try to move from one sex to another and from one gender role to another, I wind up using stereotypes and societal expectations to describe my ideal self.

Every work environment I’ve been in, I wind up with the guys, joking and shooting the breeze. They accept me; usually, the women don’t or don’t know how to respond to a masculine personality in a female shape.

I like the dominance and to be honest to have a penis!

Having a deep voice; particularly for singing. I admire baritone male singers most of all, and would love to be able to sound like that one day. Having a flat, 100% male chest. And most of the others aren’t really things that people can’t do in some capacity as a female… (As I’m a strong disbeliever in gender stereotypes) But for me to do any of them comfortably, I’d have to be male, as I feel I should be on the male side of the spectrum. Being able to go around without a shirt and not be considered vulgar or nude. (or without having to feel extremely dysphoric, of course, because of female parts… Because, you know even if I were on a nudist beach, I wouldn’t go topless as a girl.) Being able to joke with a group of guys about things that would seem inappropriate for mixed-sex friends, and just otherwise fit in completely as one of the boys. Rebel against gender stereotypes as a male, rather than a female. –> Being able to wear androgynous clothing, make-up, etc. and have that be considered rebellion, rather than simply comforming to the ‘norm’ for a girl. And feeling less obligated to prove strength and be overly masculine. Ironic, yes, but it’s because I hate gender stereotypes, and feel I have to prove I’m not a girl. I’d love to not worry about that anymore. I’d be less competitive and no longer insecure. I’d be perfectly happy if a girl kicked my bum at something. Wear what I want and have my hair however I’d like as a male. (And get to be a girly boy rather than being a masculine, butch girl.) Be attractive as a male. (Being considered ‘hot’ or ‘sexy’ as a girl CREEPS me out! ) That’s basically it, well other than… erm… not having to be plagued by certain ‘functions’ anymore. And in fact, I’d love to have the male ones, instead.  And though it’s not biologically possible in the conventional way, I’d probably like to be a dad — I’m too much a kid, myself, mentally and emotionally right now, but maybe someday in the distant future. (Whereas being a mother scares me even if I’m not giving birth….)

Burly voice. I love listening to myself in the morning

I gotta say almost everything. But, the things I desire more than anything about being a man is: Be able to fit in and be seen as a normal man, not a woman that changed to a man. I want people to see me as biologically male because even if I was born a female, I was actually a guy all the time since I was just born in the wrong way. Look good…I want to have girls go wow with my looks like I was a cisgendered male and leave them in doubt of me being transsexual since I look…um….. hot. ..oops, looks like I just spoke for many FTMs in here with that. Have top surgery! That’s all…I want those three stuff more than having a penis and stuff like that.

I tend to be a protector and want to provide for others. While I can be sensitive and can yield when it is most appropriate to do so, I am a leader and a warrior in so many ways. I step forward in any confrontation that threatens my household, my loved ones, and am sure the interests of my loved ones are totally protected. I work hard to change laws in order to offer more protections to the most vulnerable members of our society. I can go on and on; yet, in all honesty, it is possible a strong female might do much the same. So, as I think about the type of info you are looking for, I think I best answer this by telling you how much I adore women! Women seriously stoke the male energy within. I adore women, yet I truly do not want to be a woman. I want to protect them, provide for them, encourage them, support them, escort them, cherish them, comfort them, honor them, love them. I am so very attracted to women. I love their style, their walk, their lipstick, their beauty, their… everything. So incredibly… wow! I enjoy the strong response I have to women.

I enjoy the simplicity of men’s clothing, men’s styles… the simplicity of men’s lives. I am comfortable as a man. I love my one-on-one time with a woman, with the woman I love. In social groups, I am much more comfortable with men. I don’t care for men without integrity and men whom do not show tremendous respect toward women. I thoroughly enjoy my time with other men… socially and for business. We often think alike. Within social groups, I identify with men of social power and of integrity. Yet, when the work of the day is done, I want to retreat with my beautiful, sensitive, soft, sensuous female lover. I don’t want to watch television with her… no, no, no! I want to hold her, look into her beautiful eyes, listen to her, show her affection and appreciation, attend to her needs.

Manly things that I already have and love: My chivalry, it makes me feel like a noble Knight of King Athur’s court! Things I wish I had: Big hands and impressive physical skill.

like a few of the other guys have said, I see myself as a protector. I want to be able to care for the women in my life in a masculine way.

-       There are a lot of physical things to like physical strangth, having a flat chest, and being able to stand and pee

Oh there is lots…

I like being able to eat as much as I want (usually a lot!) when there are others around and not having anyone comment negatively on it. Instead people just say “Oh what a hungry man you are, you must’ve worked hard today.”

Being able to eat all the meat I want without anyone thinking it’s inappropriate. Also, being able to sweat and groan as much as I want when I work out and not having anyone comment or stare. Being able to help carry heavy/bulky stuff, changing a tire, changing a light bulb without people taking it away from me and telling me to “Leave it to the guy(s) when he (they) get here.”

I like not having to smile and laugh at stuff that is not funny or cute only to be polite and make others feel good. Like, not being expected to touch people’s arms all the time and say sweet stuff. I am a nice person but I am more into pats on the back. Yeah, all in all, not being expected to be so damn sweet all the time.

Not having people tone down the bad language, change to a more civilized subject etc. when I join a conversation. It’s much, much better (for me) to just be included in a fun conversation. Not having people look at me like I’m completely retarded and a unsuccessful failure as a human being when I tell them I can’t cook to save my life and that I still don’t get many basic principles behind doing my laundry. Not having people act as if I am completely supernatural and calling me a “handy girl” or other lame stuff when I tell them that I can fix my bike and change the oil in my truck by myself. And lots of other stuff…

I’ve never been in a particularly gender role oriented world, so I have a hard time thinking of traits as “male”. I remember, as a little kid when Grandma would take me to church, trying to sing hymns in a deep voice. I used to run around wearing a hard hat and mittens when I was two, because I wanted to be a construction guy like my dad. I built things with Grandpa and wore my dad’s old clothes when I visited their house. I couldn’t stand when my mother would ask for help fixing things and putting things together, and I learned how to do everything I could, and I didn’t really have men around as role models much at all after I was 10. But I learned to use power tools, wire stuff, do plumbing, landscape, etc, because those things suited me. In my marriage to a man, I did those things, too, and he didn’t. I’ve always, since I can remember, wanted to be seen as chivalrous. I held doors for girls, and I carried things. Still do, but I have a fiance who is as strong as me and doesn’t much let me do things for her. She hurt her elbow, and I finally get to carry stuff for her.  I guess I don’t have a real answer. I need to look more male, because I do have body dysphoria. But I never really thought any of the above wasn’t anything a woman didn’t do, besides singing hymns in a deep voice.

While I want to be a guy, I don’t want to be masculine. I like my body frame as it is, aside from the obvious markers as being a girl. I really, really want a flat chest. I don’t care if people find me attractive as a girl, but as a guy. I like to imagine that people that don’t know me around school are trying to figure out if I’m a boy or a girl (and hopefully decide boy). I do like the feminine or emo boy look. Maybe as a girl I’m not very feminine, but as a guy I would be, and I want that. Not in a girly way but kind of a flamboyant way.

I want to save myself the hassle of going to the restroom. It’s bad enough that I get all the stares when I step in the female restroom at school, but I have to wait cause they take too long to pee. And some of them change their clothes in the stalls so you can’t use the toilet even if you are in dire need. It’s really annoying. I get to escape this when I’m not in school. I just use common restrooms. Saves me from a bunch of stares.

——————————————–

[sic] From a transgender forum.