FTM Detransitioner : The Subcultural Pressure On Young Women To Medically “Transition”

July 7, 2011

Watch these videos soon if you’re interested in viewing them. Detransitioners almost always delete their videos/blogs after a deluge of criticism from the trans community and shunning from those they thought were their friends. Like a cult, ex-members are antithetical to maintaining the one-sided thought constructs required to maintain a faith based genderist fantasy and philosophy. The trans community exists solely to support those who want to submerge themselves deeper into gender beliefs, and never ever to support those who have reached a stopping point, or who turn back. Detransitioners are the pariahs of the trans community. This young woman seems to have been very immersed in the trans trending youtube community, she vlogs frequently -and is often quite entertaining (unlike most of them) – so the loss of that support system might be very troubling to her. I wish her well, and commend her on her bravery of speaking out and breaking the biggest taboo of the trans community. Especially her re-clamation of the word “Lesbian” for herself, which is like fingernails on the blackboard to most of her peers.  I was reading something the other day from a young, short, hairy, bald F2T who was discussing “The Oh My God What Have I Done To Myself Phase Of Transition”. Hopefully the young woman featured here will never have to “work through” that “part of the journey” instead putting on the brakes before it was too late.

The first vlog is her response to the public feedback (including a mention on Dirt’s blog) to her first statement about her intention of going off of testosterone which she made briefly at the end of her “One Year on T” video.  The second is a follow-up video further explaining her detransition. She sounds like a typical exiting cult member, trying not to rebuke her former beliefs, trying to maintain good relations and a support system with her peers, while still trying to exit the cult trans machine.

Quote from the video: “T was not a mistake. OK I know that you didn’t talk about that or anything like that but I feel like –clarification for everybody.  Of course I’ll talk about that in my “why I stopped T” video. But, I honestly believe that  it was not a mistake. I feel like maybe I did stay on it  for a little too long. And that I started a little too early. But, you know, I wanted to get T and what am I going to do if I want something? I’m obviously going to lie to my therapist. Like, who wouldn’t do that ? I’m sure a lot of other people have done that. And it has to stop. I completely agree of course. I don’t know who I’m agreeing with, but whatever. I agree with that statement that  I’m just saying right now.  I feel that there are a lot of trans people out there who do start transitioning way too young.  Because they feel like they need to transition. Because they can’t, you know, be okay with themselves in their body.  Which is absolutely horrible. Because then they might grow up, you know. Of course I truly believe that  a lot of trans people are trans. Yes, you are trans.  But such transition at a young age and stuff like that. I mean, I honestly don’t think that it’s pressure from the YouTube Community, but I feel – because there’s no one making videos “You Need to Be on T if you’re Fourteen”,  you know, there’s nothing like “You Need to Get  Surgery Right Now”.  No, there is none of that.  Maybe once or twice out of a million. It doesn’t happen.  But I do believe that younger trans people looking at these videos might look at them and think  “Oh my God this person has transitioned and they’re only 17,  and they’re already getting their top surgery this summer and they’ve been on T for two years”. Stuff like that. A younger trans person might think “I need to be like this to be happy” when really, they really need to look into themselves. “

Although several of her peers are already clicking the “dislike” button I’m sure her detransition videos will be a source of help and comfort to others who struggle to detransition with no support whatsoever as all their trans peers abandon them.  Here are a few comments left on them by other young women:

“hey man i was really surprised when i saw this video but very happy about it. i stopped T also a few months back and i feel the same way as you. theres more of us out there its just not talked about very often.”

And:

“i definitely think you’re right that young transguys suffer unconscious pressures from within the community itself to transition medically with hormones and/or surgery. as a young transperson myself, i watched hundreds of transition videos where young, attractive, desirable transguys documented their experiences on t, their changes, and i wanted to be like that. i wanted something to happen in my life that would make me happy and i thought transitioning was going to fulfill that.

i thought that by transitioning and going on t i would share the same experiences of happiness and fulfillment i saw in these videos. but i was disillusioned by these experiences. i equated t with happiness. i saw top surgery as a way of feeling better about my body. and it is 100% certainly in no way ever the fault of the transguys who post these videos. it was 100% my deal. i had issues with my body and my life and my self-esteem and i was looking for a way to cure that. it seemed logical that by transitioning, i would experience happiness, because i saw it in so many other people’s videos.

their stories of happiness due to going on t and finally gaining the male sex characteristics they desired made me WANT those sex characteristics (i’m talking facial hair, low voice, body fat shape, etc) because i wanted to be happy, to fit in, to find an identity (which is so intrinsically linked to medical transition and taking testosterone in the ftm community) which i could relate to.

but my identity is my own, and i realised that t wasn’t going to make me happy – “becoming male” wasn’t going to make me happy (because that’s how i saw it; i saw myself as an unhappy person stuck in a female body and a female “role” in society wanting a trans body and a more liberal “male” role). only i could make myself happy. i felt trapped in the whole female role thing, i saw these transmen gain (SOME) privileges when they transitioned with t – they were unequivocally (in some cases, not all) read as male in society now, and they gained, or at least i thought they gained, a lot of privileges through that. i wanted to be male so i wouldn’t have to be female. but i realised, i don’t have to be either. even if people read me as a female, it doens’t mean i AM one. i wanted to transition because i wanted to find a recognisable space where my identity was accepted. non-binary, transfluid, genderqueer, agendered identities are not universially accepted or recognised in this age and time and i felt lost. i felt like i didn’t have a place, and i felt that by transitioning medically (and socially, tbh) i would gain the self-acceptance and fulfillment i saw in the vlogs of other transguys. but not every transperson is the same, and we all certainly want different things and think in different ways. yet i equated happiness with transition. and it was an illusion, and i realised that i didn’t HAVE to go on t to experience that.

and for the record, i am an XX-born person raised female as a child. i realised my rejection of a binary female identity from an early age and i came to (re)claim my identity as queer in both gender and sexuality from around the age of 14 or 15. i realised that i was at least genderqueer and/or wanted to do something about this around aged 17 and bought a binder, adopted a more androgynous style (although i was always dressing like a dorky skater boy wannabe anyway), and lived this aspect of my gender out online properly. (gender-neutral pronouns, neutral nickname/screenname, etc) it was only until the summer i turner 18 that i made the decision to transition to male. yes, “made” the “decision”. i decided to transition because i was unhappy with my life and i knew i would be starting university soon and i wanted to get an early start so i could avoid any awkward “oh btw you all knew me as a girl but i’m becoming a guy now thx” mid-semester transitions. yes.

i was pressurised into transitioning because i felt that people wouldn’t take me seriously if i STARTED uni as a girl and then transitioned to male. i thought i would be ridiculed or it would be harder for me, so i started uni as male. right from the word go, male pronouns (or at least, i tried, heh), male name, name gender on uni records. i threw myself into something that i thought was going to make me happy, but it made me miserable, socially anxious to a horrendous degree, and in a worse off position that i was already in. i felt pressurised to conform to a binary identity and a binary, “traditional” transition by getting an early start, going on t, changing my name and using male pronouns, because i thought nobody would take me seriously otherwise and because i thought it would cure my unhappiness. lo and behold, it didn’t. and again, this is in NO WAY the fault of ANY transguy who posts his transition on youtube. it was my own lack of self-esteem and self worth which made me think i had to change a major physical and social aspect of my life in order to be happy. but instead, it took me about a year and a half to realise that happiness comes from within. and just because i’m not using a male name or pronouns anymore, or have no desire to commit to medical transition any time soon, it doesn’t mean i’m not trans*. i’m still trans*. but now i’m just myself as well. and it doesn’t bother me that my identity isn’t recognisable. i’m just me. SOOOOOOORY for the huge mass of comments! i think i probably took up a whole page of comments, heh… in retrospect, it probably would have been better to post this to your page wall or message you, but i publicly wanted to express my experiences with the things you are saying because they relate a lot to myself. i’ve been looking for an outlet to get rid of all these thoughts because a lot of my friends don’t get it, and yet it’s so central to my history. so THANKS, and stay awesome, you <3”

85 Responses to “FTM Detransitioner : The Subcultural Pressure On Young Women To Medically “Transition””

  1. Mary Sunshine Says:

    I love her energy. She’s just a great young female. I think she’ll be fine. Thanks for this, Gallus.

  2. KatieS Says:

    I appreciate these videos/comments. It takes confidence/strength to speak out, to claim your right to define yourself when you have already gone against traditional social norms, and then realize that the new “alternative” norms don’t define you, either.

    I note the confusion about whether or not there is social pressure in the trans youtube community, for instance. If you want someone to do something, direct pressure is not that effective. Modeling something that looks attractive on the surface while claiming that no one should feel pressured to do anything is much more effective. Successful salespersons will never take the direct pressure route. Their customers will still end up with items they might not otherwise have purchased, though. Controlling the social setting/imagery is much more effective. You go to buy a car and want a plain model you can afford. An “effective” salesperson will show you these expensive options or a more expensive car in ways that will cause you to imagine yourself in that image, how much happier it will make you and you will begin to feel that the expensive version is right for you. You may be happy and have a rush when you buy the car, but after several months of too-high car payments, you may wish you’d bought the plain cheaper car instead.

    The culture has not given varied role models to choose from, ones that are not based on any of the patriarchy-defined “alternatives.”

    About models: I think dirt’s videos are great. She has a strong sense of who she is and articulates how difficult her journey has been. Her honesty and caring comes through clearly, but she is not trying to influence people to adopt some new norm. Instead, her message is to be true to yourself, and that this can be difficult. When I hear her videos, I am inspired to be myself fully, not to be like her.

  3. SheilaG Says:

    This young woman is very brave. And I think it points out the trouble younger lesbians are having just being lesbians. I guess it’s like all drugs… T is a powerful drug, it does things to you. Heroine is a powerful drug, we’ve told people for eons to stay away from it, but they won’t.
    Trans is a creepy new kind of drug fueled fad among young lesbians, and I think this brave speak out needs to be heard.

  4. SheilaG Says:

    I also do think it’s about the sex, because an FTtrans would have a harder time with a lesbian girlfriend, because lesbians want women. A FTtrans would then have to deal with het women, who might not want a female; this is very problematic. I feel deeply sorry for all the young lesbians that get caught up in this mess.

    There have been all these trends in the lesbian world for ages, I didn’t like a lot of them, and just opted out of the scene if it got too weird. Back in the day, there was a slogan “smash monogamy” and I was suspicious. Who was going to benefit from this? Not me, I had a feeling. Decades later, a woman who was a “smash monogamy” type wrote an honest essay on how damaging that had been to her. Thank goddess I didn’t listen to her back in the day.

    Other bad fads; BDSM, piercings… tatoos ugh… I just don’t in for any of the fads. I go in for lesbian liberation from male supremacy… something I hope is not just a fad🙂

  5. myrtle Says:

    I wish you could continue with this, post more often on this topic, with more visibility, on a magazine site or Huff Po or somewhere like that. Where they can see you regularly. Seriously!!

    Get yourself set up where these young women (and men, sigh) are, and oh that’s on YouTube by the way!! Twitter!! They need to hear you, frequently, sooner, over and over.

    You have such a great way of handling it. Why can’t that rag that Dr. Whatserface wrote for have you doing a column. Oh I remember now how it goes; you need to do up a couple columns, and send in a query.

    Don’t you?

    (Doesn’t she?)

  6. Feuerwerferin Says:

    This was a great post! Thank you. This sort of thing has to be made public! And I think that this aproach to F2Ts is way more productive then simply kicking them out for betraying the female sex (which they really do but I don’t blame them to much).
    Somewhere else you mentioned that feminism has not helped those young women. But I think that’s wrong, too. Patriarchy has lied next to anyone that feminists are not creadible but just insane idiots. This is why we don’t get more feminists but more F2Ts instead. I remember what I thought that I knew about feminism at age 17 living in a small town + being an immigrant. It was manshit. Luckily I questioned this manshit one year later. I never was F2T, never considered such a thing though (I just thought there was no way out back then). Feminists really need to get to those women and all women in general. It has to work somehow. And you are doing a great job about this matter🙂

  7. Bev Jo Says:

    Thank you so much for this, and for all your posts, Gallus. If only the women considering mutilating themselves would see your work here. It could change everything.

  8. Loup-loup garou Says:

    Good for her. When I read this, though, I couldn’t help feeling relief that I grew up in the seventies and not the nineties or oughties. There was a lot of 1950’s style sexism still hanging around back then, but at least it wasn’t dressed up as “empowerment through hyperfemininity,” and there was a logical countermessage known as “free to be you and me.” Now you’re free to do Olympic pole dancing, OR, if you want out of that, shoot T and call yourself *!#@yden.

    • GallusMag Says:

      Plee Plim Plizz.
      This is a blog examining trends in gender. On this blog pronouns are used to denote sex, not gender. We do this in order to discuss gender accurately. If you are unwilling to respect the blog rule please feel free to comment elsewhere.

      • catsonmars Says:

        Echo echo ehco. Oh it’s an echo chamber for people with your same views. Way to throw around that moderator privilege. I like how when you people are confronted with your own ignorance that you delete my post. If you really cared about this person instead of using they (they, likes they more than even she!) as an opportunity to peddle your own theories than no one here would have referred to they as a woman or used female pronouns. I thought this was a site with reasonable people who would be willing to hear different thoughts and view points. I am sorry I interrupted your discussion. I do hope that you are actually telling these people that your posting videos about them, if not than this is nothing more than a teenage clique.

      • GallusMag Says:

        Can you NOT.FUCKING.READ. ?
        I delete all garbled incoherent posts that have no relation to the thread topic. Well that’s not true cause I let this one thru. But usually. Like all your other comments.
        If you want to have a conversation here’s a tip: Watch the videos. Read the conversation. Fashion a comment that in some way relates to the topic at hand. And don’t come on someone’s blog bitching about how the rules don’t apply to speshul snowflake you. One more comment like the rest and you are banned.

      • GallusMag Says:

        And YES. A woman does have “the privilege” to MODERATE HER OWN FUCKING BLOG. Go figure. What an uppity bitch I am.

      • GallusMag Says:

        As with ALL my posts the persons featured have right of rebuttal. So fuck off.

  9. catsonmars Says:

    Wow. This is the caliber of conversation that is permitted on this site?
    “I gather he works as a (gay) prostitute, and this is a likely source of 50k cash. Basically, he is female-proxying – which will be rather dangerous for him if he expands his clientele to include straight dudes, who don’t take kindly to being duped by “used to be a man”.
    Enjoy yourselves. I hope one day all that hate that is pent up in your hearts will go away. I feel sorry for everyone of you.

    • GallusMag Says:

      Again. This comment has NOTHING WHATSOEVER to do with this post. Presumably you are commenting about a comment another reader left on ANOTHER post? Just guessing. I don’t really care what the answer is anymore because you are banned. Your comments only make sense to you and no one else. Wildy off topic, out of context, and confuddled. I tried to help you out but now I’m done. Buh Bye Forever.

    • GallusMag Says:

      The only “hate” around here is in YOUR heart. Check yourself.


    • *yawn* Call me when you have an argument that doesn’t boil down to “you’re mean and you hurt trans people’s feelings!”

      (PS: You’re not awesome enough to be named after a song from Cowboy Bebop. =P)

  10. GallusMag Says:

    To everyone else- thank you for your thoughtful comments.❤

  11. jilla Says:

    Back to the young woman, I like her face too. And her hair, and eyes, and her je ne sais quoi womanliness which does come through. She’s just plain charismatic.

  12. Lilly Says:

    “Call me when you have an argument that doesn’t boil down to “you’re mean and you hurt trans people’s feelings!””

    Lol yeah when they have no arguments they always say: “You’re hateful! You’re transphobic! You hurt the feelings of xyz.” To bad playing the victim card doesn’t work for them anymore. It’s so pathetic and always the same pointless stuff. That’s the only thing you can expect from slaves of the gender ideology.

    It’s good that the girl stopped taking T before it’s to late.

  13. catsonmars Says:

    Oh and you Mr moderator are a real prick.

    • GallusMag Says:

      Because a female human couldn’t possibly lay down the law, right? Sad, hon. Really fucking sad that you hate women so much.


    • There ain’t no “Mr Moderator” on radfem blogs. And here at GenderTrender, we actually all await comment moderation – nice of you to pretend you are more hard done-by by the moderation queue. Sorry Snowflake, you don’t win the Oppression Olympics.

      Radfem blogs are generally a prick-free zone too. The only pricks that exist at radfem blogs are the ones brought in by the XYs, well, the XYs themselves actually…

  14. yttik Says:

    Thanks for posting that, GallusMag.

    Uhg, that was both incredibly hopeful and heart wrenching at the same time. One thing that really gets me is how painful it is to be young. I remember well the need to conform, the anxiety about how people perceive you, this idea that if you could just change everything about yourself, you’d be happy. That’s one good thing about getting older, you don’t care so much about meeting somebody else’s standard. I wish we could immunize young people against that, because life just gets so much better once that wears off. Identity is so important when you’re young and it takes a while for people to learn that who you are comes from inside you, not how you appear to others. Needless to say, our culture doesn’t want you to know that.

  15. Bev Jo Says:

    Thank you for posting this, Gallus. It’s very hopeful. But did anyone notice how she is feminizing? It seems odd after her wanting to be male, but then it is the flip side of the same coin.

    I do hope she influences others though.


  16. She said she started passing more once she stopped trying to act masculine, and people then naturally took her for a gay guy.
    Why would that be? I mean, why would she start passing more once she stops acting?

  17. Bev Jo Says:

    I’d think she’d want to pass for the privilege. But she doesn’t look remotely like a gay man, even with her bone structure change, and she is so clearly Fem. I guess it’s how hets will do anything to not see what seems to be a Lesbian in front of them — must be something — anything — else.

    And you’re right, that sense of entitlement even for a while that men get would increase her sense of having rights. I’m guessing class privilege too.

    But it’s interesting that, as much as she wanted to be male, she is now looking very feminine, with her tanktop and earrings. Not the kind of earrings men wear, but more male-identified Fem. With a few changes (and it would be interesting to see what direction she goes) she will just look like another het woman. I keep seeing proof that wanting to be FTM and being extremely male-identified feminine are flip sides of the same basic thing — but too many Lesbians have trouble seeing femininity as the opposite of female. It’s like with female impersonators — with their dresses and makeup and bad wigs, most women accept them as women.

  18. myrtle Says:

    Well I sure wouldn’t want to be her, with everybody picking at her no matter what she looks like. Maybe we could just let her be, and accept her for whatever she looks like, as long as she’s not claiming to be the other sex and buying into a pack of mutilation.

  19. Bev Jo Says:

    I’m not picking on her, but wanting to discuss with others here about what she is happily displaying about herself. The myth that most FTMs are Butch and Lesbian increases Butch oppression, including among feminists (based on comments I’ve seen that are Butch-hating.) It’s important when we have a public video that disproves the myth, to comment on it. It’s one thing to say it’s a myth, but another to literally see it.

  20. GallusMag Says:

    Let’s keep all comments supportive.

  21. myrtle Says:

    I am being supportive of the young woman. I see all different factions pulling at these ‘kids’ and labels being so harmful. Not that it’s any different for being young generally, because who you “are” can turn on a dime. We expect too much. Maybe I’m speaking from the perspective of a parent, rather than a lesbian. I can’t come from that stance, I just see a confused young woman.

  22. Leo Says:

    Everyone – why are you calling this person “she” and “her”? The person specifically said in the video to stop misgendering them as “she”!

    I appreciate that it’s hard. Still, this person is not female and has said they don’t identify as female. They asked for the pronoun “they” in the video, so we should make a sincere effort to use that.

    I really appreciate you posting this GallusMag, I think it’s a really important experience people don’t often speak about so eloquently, but it upset me that you used “she” pronouns in your post.😦

    • GallusMag Says:

      And I appreciate your comment, but it upset me that you did not read the thread you are commenting in. Any further comments ignoring blog policy as outlined already in this thread will be deleted.

  23. Lilly Says:

    “Everyone – why are you calling this person “she” and “her”? The person specifically said in the video to stop misgendering them as “she”!”

    1. We don’t belive in gender fairy tails
    2. Why does she force her identity upon others??

    “this person is not female”

    Wow there are still people who don’t know about human biology.

    “They asked for the pronoun “they” in the video, so we should make a sincere effort to use that”

    Why??

  24. awakening Says:

    you are getting through… i’ve got the message now and i too escaped this sick cult. all because i was ashamed of my feelings for women, feeling trapped in my female life and wishing that i had more privileges. i can tell you honestly as someone else who has gone through this twanz madness that all i wanted as a F2T was male privilege. i hate the oppression of being born female but it lightens my heart and speaks volumes to me that radical feminism is still alive and well and that despite how hated i may be for living true to my heart and soul, i have to. internalized lesbophobia has damaged me a lot in my life but i refuse to let that continue. the patriarcy lied to me for far too long and i stupidly bought it.

    i also think it never helped me much that my mother was a het radfem who eventually lost her mind trying to convert males to respecting women more and being on her “side”. i do not blame her either though, i hurt for her all the madness they pushed on her and i wish she could get past her own lesbophobia as well. my mother would be the happiest radfem alive to know i have found my way back, regardless of our differences. men are never on women’s side are and we must never forget this. thank you for continuing to voice the truth about women living under patriarchy.

    i feel exactly the same way about all of this trans madness after having exposed myself repeatedly to the TRUTH and not some ridiculous wishful thinking in my head.

    thank you.

    • GallusMag Says:

      Thank you hon. xox

    • DaveSquirrel Says:

      all i wanted as a F2T was male privilege

      Yes, so do most F2Ts if they are honest about it, either that or trying to ‘escape’ the female body – being sexually oggled at 24/7. These are the main F2T reasons, and sometimes lesbophobia (hello Chaz).

      The M2T reasons are either autogynophilia, failed masculinity, and to a lesser extent homophobia (but this latter is more tied in with failed masculinity).

      It is not that much of a surprise that so many YW are believing they are F2T these days – sexism, misogyny and gender roles are worse than they have been in decades, and most of the gains the 2nd wave made for women are slowly being undone (like erosion on abortion rights, or contraception availability). The upside is that more women are waking up to what is going on and turning to feminism, particularly radical feminism.

      Thanks for speaking out awakening – yes, it is a cult.

  25. awakening Says:

    please excuse my grammar/spelling, i’m a bit unwell atm with flu.

  26. Bev Jo Says:

    That is so important, what you said, awakening. The more you speak out, the more it helps us all. Thank you.

  27. awakening Says:

    thanks for the welcome. reading through the post i can see where this young woman feels afraid of the backlash from the trans community in her persistence with taking full blame for it. if the trans community were not so “cultish” and accepted detransitioners with open arms i wonder if this lovely woman would admit that she was conned – as i was.

    thanks so much for this, i’m relieved to know so many other would-be F2T are turning back.

  28. amber powell Says:

    This person is brave and beautiful however thye identify. That is their business.

    I do not support people transitioning physically in their teens and for most, it is not a good idea until they are at least into their twenties. Transitioning is serious business, the physical changes are permanent and it should only be undertaken if an individual has exhausted all other possible avenues.

    Sadly, I have to agree that their is a lot of subtle, and some not so subtle “pressure” on both young men and women to seek out physical transition as the only alternative they have to complete a happy existence. People have the right to make choices for themselves, but, they need unbiased, accurate information to guide them. This does not exist, not in this place, not in trans places, not with doctors, not with therapists. Everyone has an agenda to promote, an idea as to how someone should live their life, but I have yet to run across a single source, blog, website or organisation that offers genuine unbiased advice to troubled (especially young) people.

    I say this as a transsexual, in transition. It is not a road to automatic happiness and it is not for everyone. It is, a last resort, only to be undertaken when every other option has been exhausted. I do not, would never, promote it. It is one means and a most difficult one to find personal happiness. Personally, I feel very sad to read how young people, struggling with their sense of self identity, look to drugs (hormones) as the solution. They are not, IMHO, a solution for people who are not fully mature in their own sense of understanding themselves.

  29. Bev Jo Says:

    But it is also an illusion. People cannot truly change sex or gender. They can mutilate themselves to fit one of two male-defined versions of gender that are ordained as “normal” by patriarchy, but men can’t be women and women can’t be men. Minds and spirits aren’t changed, and neither are bodies except superficially.

    It’s a con and a cult, and a right wing answer to the threat that Lesbians and gay men and anyone who refuses to fit in with unnatural male dictates of who we should be pose to the whole patriarchal power structure. Unfortunately, playing that game increases a girl or woman’s status immediately, so it is very tempting.

  30. Violet Irene Says:

    I just wanted to be invisible. I wanted to just be a brain and I wanted to be able to walk around without being looked at and evaluated and dismissed all the time. I had been hurt, so, so badly, and so many times, I just wanted a break from being objectified and hurt and stared at. I wanted a chance to be what I could be, instead of just being seen as a slave or a thing. I wanted to not be afraid for once. I wanted to be heard just as a voice, not evaluated as hot or not first, in or out, friend or foe. I wanted a chance to say something without being instantly silenced.

    It was hard coming home, after that.

  31. Lee Says:

    This is not reflective of transsexual persons’ experience. Those who feel this way are simply not transsexual. Maybe transgender, butch, queer, genderqueer….but not transsexual.
    Trans is not evil and we’re not recruiting. I’d love to know where the droves of people transitioning come from because at age 34 I’m finally able to get T and change my name, despite being the oldest of 3 guys my whole life. And no one is throwing me a party.I live my life through personal and professional accomplishments- being trans is really an obstacle to just being accepted as the man I am, doing good legal work for others who aren’t queer. In other words, I am just a guy with goals and dreams and obstacles. I’m not in love with being a unicorn.
    To me, this just looks like a bunch of kids who didn’t understand permanence and/ or had too much privilege because true trans men often suffer from a lack of privilege and need that permanence. On top of that there are men who can’t get T because supply is too low due to experimenters or health. Just don’t start discounting the whole community because some people made the wrong decision for them. It’s not right for everyone but it’s also not wrong for everyone.

    • GallusMag Says:

      A man? You are a woman the same as all women. And there is no “community”. You are proof of that. You cannot speak to the “transsexual experience” because you, unlike the person featured in this post, have not yet lived it. Perhaps someday soon another woman will direct such comments to you.

      “We are not recruiting” That is a damned lie as any butch dyke or sex-role disobedient woman can report. In fact, it is an outrageous lie. Femininity non-compliant women can’t fart without the suggestion that we inject testosterone and correct our “condition”. They are targeting 2 and 3 year-old children with this sex-role complaint shit now. Sweet Christ. Your comment is beyond offensive to butch dykes, yet oh so familiar. Blah de blah de blah your boring-ass newly “male” self as a 34 year old woman seeking to cosmetically resurrect. You’re a lady, bro. A transtrender woman-hating laydee wanting to escape the female lot by throwing other females under the bus.

      You are a liar and you know you are a liar. Keep dancing Bubs.

      Testosterone shortage: oh noez! Need hormonal cosmetic medicine to be “male”! What do? What do when chosen reality is enabled by drugs and drugs run out?!? Laydee horror! Reality horror! Female horror!😉

      What is the thing about pride in “doing good legal work for others who aren’t queer”? Homophobia much? Lesbian-hatred much? Self-hatred much? Yes, yes, and yes. You’re a woman who is “just a guy”. A human who just happens to be reproductively male…in their imaginary world. A reproductively male human who creates eggs and can gestate offspring. Urrr, there is no such human. Sounds like a unicorn to me. Yep. Unicorny.

      • Becky Green Says:

        “This is not reflective of transsexual persons’ experience. Those who feel this way are simply not transsexual. Maybe transgender, butch, queer, genderqueer….but not transsexual.”

        That commonly held attitude is precisely why the trans community can claim such high success rates for treatment. If a trans person stops believing the mythology because hormones and/or surgery fail to bring happiness or alleviate their distress, then they are stripped of their trans diagnosis. “Clearly she was never REALLY transsexual.”

        By that criteria, it’s impossible to define who’s really trans until AFTER treatment. In such nebulous territory, medical interventions are reduced to a mere crapshoot.

    • ex home birther Says:

      They weren’t a true believer, but they are trans enough to qualify for testosterone and surgery. HM.

  32. Kevin John Miller Says:

    I think it does suck that there are what I call “trendy trans” guys out there and those who don’t work through their issues before transitioning. Because it does make those of us who are legit look really bad and it takes away from our validity. Now if one does choose to detransition then that’s their choice and no one should be judging a person for that action. Granted you do have to see that the anger of these kids on YouTube over the last few years that are really young going really fast and I do whole heartedly agree are doing it out of confusion with how they want to look physically.over how they feel internally . I just get irritable when.people try to denote other peoples transition just because they themselves made a mistake when.making a serious life choice.

    • ex home birther Says:

      You seem more concerned with the image of trans than people hurt by easy access to transition. You also seem comfortable blaming individuals for the failures of the medical and psychological industries. There needs to be some effort to screen people to prevent unnecessary surgery and drugs. Right now the trans community wants to do the opposite- make it easier to access transition. It is hard to believe that anyone in the trans community cares about detransitioners.


  33. FYI, Chase still identifies as male. He is on Testosterone, and just had chest surgery about a month ago. Chase is that GUY in the video. The only reason why he “detransitioned” (really he just stopped transitioning at that moment of time) was because he wasn’t ready yet for Testosterones. He’s not a detransitioner, he needed to stop, because mentally he was not ready. He was young, and he still is young. It takes a lot to transition, and to assume that someone stopped transitioning, because simply because they weren’t really trans, isn’t just an assumption, not a truth. Yeah, there are de-transitioners, but they weren’t really trans in the first place.

    • moss Says:

      That’s so sad.

      • moss Says:

        I think that once one has publicized her intentions and belief in gender-roles on the internet it’s very difficult to turn back. Also, ‘Axel,’ you are clearly female from the photo; do you also think you’re not?

    • Motherhood Says:

      Correction take note. Jot it down. It’s enough to make your eyes cross. The constant repetitive drone of pure bullshit. “really not trans in the first place.” OMG an impostor as opposed to to Real you know one of those people that really has a “female brain” in a male body. Translation, may have a sane cell left in their body and has not 100% bought into the robotic doctrine that is the Trans movement. “It takes a lot to transition” oh my so brave what heroics transition must be. Cosmetic surgery is noted for the bravery it demands–wasn’t ready to give over her life so other wack jobs can feed the delusion. God good you people need to stay far away from children –far far away. Oh well in just a few short years there will 100’s of others sitting on talk shows telling the twisted tale of woe of coercion and lie and manipulations that make up Trans.

      • moss Says:

        I remember one of the first TV shows I saw about FTMs had one of them (who of course still looked like a woman) saying ‘there’s a reason this is called a Hero’s Journey,’ and I couldn’t help but wonder, by whom?

    • jose Says:

      Those atheists never were real christians to begin with.

      • LC Says:

        Or ‘those Christians were never really atheists.’ I had someone tell me that once. Fascinating part of identity politics, it’s impossible to tell who belongs to what group beyond their say-so, but dare to question it and you’re a hater.

    • Ave Says:

      ” Yeah, there are de-transitioners, but they weren’t really trans in the first place.”
      whatever pal. and how the hell can you prove who’s “real.” you can’t. you’re just an asshole

  34. moira Says:

    “Axel”‘s comment about what “Chase” is up to now seems to be true. How awful and how incredibly sad. http://alainsojourner.com/pride-toronto-trans-march-2013/

    I saw several groups of ftms at my local dyke march running around like this, so proudly showing their scars. It always feels like such a punch in the gut. An emergency that everyone pretends is cause for celebration. An insult by an agent who doesn’t even have to be present, because we’ll do it to ourselves to save him the trouble. All couched in a discourse of “liberation” that makes it impossible to get a pawn to see she’s a pawn.

    I tried to watch the original video “why i stopped t,” and couldn’t finish. What struck me most was how much this person relates to her body from a dissociated place, as a series of parts with relative values to be altered and manipulated for effect. In other words, the same relationship to the body every female will have if she remains controlled by men. This less common expression of it is not even ironic, though it may look that way on face value. It’s clearly driven by a false sense of escape or rebellion against the norm that says we must feminize ourselves. The reactionary “opposite” isn’t really an opposite at all, but the same trap with a different set of aesthetic norms.

    Also, in general, this fairly widespread phenomenon of deliberately using t temporarily–just long enough to irreversibly alter the voice out of its female range–seems to me to be about internalizing and capitulating to men’s view of women as “perpetual children,” and recognizing only the male voice as that of an adult/human.


    • At Dyke march? Wait – I thought they think they are men?

      • moira Says:

        Yes, because the dyke march is now for “past, present and future dykes.” Don’t look too hard for consistent stories here–the typical ftm lines and the typical mtf lines are in contradiction on many points including this one, with the upshot that absolutely everyone belongs in all women’s/dyke spaces.

    • Adrian Says:

      The scars are really, really obvious, even to someone like myself who only sees pictures on the internet (yes, I do know some F2T in real life, but we’re not in a relationship where I’d ever see them shirtless!)

      Taken in exactly the right light, the idea (I guess?) is to hope the line looks like the shadow from some super-toned pecs, but… it’s not working, most of the time. If someone knows what they’re looking for and wants to “out” them, it’s trivial.

  35. S. Says:

    “Chest Surgery” ….

    Elective mastectomies with the surgical whittling down of areolas and nipples….this is what it entails.

    http://www.surgerytheater.com/video/6423/Dr.%20Daniel%20Medalie%20performs%20FtM%20top%20surgery%20(double%20incision%20mastectomy%20with%20nipple%20grafting)

    Loss of sensation is common. If it’s double incision mastectomy with nipple grafting, every once in awhile the nipple graft doesn’t take resulting in loss of a nipple or two.

    This looks like a form of violence being carried out on the female sex, but we are repeatedly told to ignore our gut instincts that something just doesnt feel right. What is actually happening to healthy female anatomy is hidden behind words such as “chest surgery”, “top surgery”, or “transitioning”.

    • red Says:

      I can’t watch the vid. It’s bad enough this surgery is done for breast cancer, and the ONLY cure for breast cancer, still, after 50 or more years of primarily women ‘running for the cure’ raising billions, because the medical profession isn’t interested in pursuing any other. A form of violence carried out on the female sex. Yes. A surgeon once told me all they’ve changed since the Halstead is neater incisions.


  36. To the author of this article and her in agreement followers…. So out of context. One day you’ll hopefully get it. Peace🙂


  37. You people are sick in the head.I am a girl who identifies as a man and is transsexual I think what you’re writing about transgender people is wrong and evil.What gives you the right to judge us and how we live? and what is this idiotic talk about that the transcommunity is a cult? thats really stupid of you to say! you do not know what we go through every day and that we feel like shit when we have to see these kinds of texts.I follow him as you have now chosen to call “her” in this text on youtube he is an inspiration to us and support us in our path to becoming men.You have no right to use his videos without his approval.You call yourselves feminists and you say that you destroy the woman within when you are going on testosterone, we want to become men because we feel like it inside its not a choise.


  38. Its funny because Chase went back on T. And is happy about it. So…maybe you should have researched first?

    Just a thought.

    • GallusMag Says:

      I should have researched first what Chase would decide to do years after my post? Okay “Bro”. You are not a bright bulb, huh?

      I have no idea what Chase is doing these days and I don’t really care because this is an old story and I am not one of her “Fan-bois” like you.

  39. Annemarie Says:

    Thank you for sharing this, it means so much to me. As the parent of a 14 year old Trans boy, who is desperate to get T and top surgery, I always questioned the inability of him to see beyond the here and now. My hope would be that he could accept himself as the wonderful person he is.


  40. So nice to see this. And glad to see people willing to support these young women. So often I hear them being called ‘traitors’, so it’s great to see some support going to these young lesbians. Your post about the survey is also very fascinating for me to read. The womyn speaking out about the reality of their experiences and why they detransition are very powerful and I’ve being seeing it a lot lately. I hope it keeps up! As I’ve accepted my lesbianism as a young person, any young woman can!😀

    • GallusMag Says:

      “So often I hear them being called ‘traitors”

      Do you? Where do you hear this? I haven’t really heard feminists calling women ‘traitors’ for the damaging choices (plastic surgeries, femininity, etc) that they make in trying to cope with the male war on women. I always saw the ‘traitors’ trope as largely or in full a creation of the transgender community.


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