How I knew I was Transgender (FTM)

November 29, 2011

25 Responses to “How I knew I was Transgender (FTM)”

  1. kittybarber Says:

    That’s how you know…because when you’re 14, you know all about that stuff and stuff like that, so, yeah, like hope this helps and stuff ’cause like all those girly girly clothes and stuff I didn’t want those, so that’s like how I knew and stuff. Bye!

  2. SheilaG Says:

    This is a classic description of a girl who doesn’t want to be a second class citizen, and hates being forced to wear clothing she is not comfortable with.
    It’s also a classic description of a butch dyke, a girl who doesn’t want to conform to her assigned role in patriarchy. It’s sad that this can’t be fully celebrated, and that she feels she has to take drugs, and can’t be the girl she wants to be.

    This stuff is so sad to see. That’s the level of lesbian self hatred still out there, and still destroying this girl’s life before she’s even out of her teenage years.

  3. wohom Says:

    A boy who describes himself as “Just 14 and a normal teen” responded to this video with, “This is shit, go kill yourself” and “gayfag.”

    The Internet is a frightening place for young teens, such as the girl in this video, to struggle with their identities.

  4. Bev Jo Says:

    Part of me understands, and yet part doesn’t, because there are actually beloved Lesbians even on television now and some natural-looking women can be seen. This girl doesn’t even explain why she feels male. And even more confusing, why want to join with boys who are so cruel, like the one you describe, wohom?

    Even more reason for as many women as possible to refuse looking male-identified feminine, so girls like this can see that they are not alone as females.

    But really, she would be sorting it out if it wasn’t for the trans myth and cult, spewing out their lying propaganda. The right wingness of it all keeps propping up patriarchy with all the ridgid rules of how artificial and uncomfortable girls are supposed to be.

    Notice the increase in high heels in the media and elsewhere? A Dykey friend was told she should wear high heels and a skirt to her job with the EOC. No woman should dare be grounded, comfortable, able to run, able to fight back, or just able to walk. Getting used to constant pain is good preparation for heterosexuality.

    • wohom Says:

      “This girl doesn’t even explain why she feels male.”

      I think what is very important is that she never does say that she feels male. She just says she is “different” and doesn’t “feel like a girl.” She says, instead, that she now knows she is “trans.”

      I think that is very telling. Patriarchy has traditionally offered children two options: male and female (and sociopolitical power is exactly in that order). But now it offers a third: transgender.

      Patriarchy is using “transgender” as a way of corralling women and girls who have historically challenged and run free from it–women who either by nature or by political decision have not assumed the expected presentation, behavior, and assigned status of “girl/woman.” By offering “trans” as a medically-created third “choice,” patriarchy is literally cutting away the very group of women and girls who have stood in opposition to it–“different” women and girls.

      This is extraordinary, and much more powerful and effective than many of the previous strategies of patriarchy.

      • GallusMag Says:

        “Patriarchy is using “transgender” as a way of corralling women and girls who have historically challenged and run free from it–women who either by nature or by political decision have not assumed the expected presentation, behavior, and assigned status of “girl/woman.”

        This is SUCH an important point.

  5. kittybarber Says:

    First, I apologize for my snarky remark earlier today. No excuse.

    It really is telling that she sees taking drugs etc. as her only option. I agree that this is an example of how ‘patriarchy is using transgender as a way of corralling’ those who don’t conform. And it is a huge problem that we face.

    There HAS been a change in the way women and girls are expected to dress, act, appear. The clothes that are in ‘fashion’ are more and more revealing, frilly, pink and pointedly GIRL CLOTHES than they were even ten or twenty years ago. Long or at least GIRL hair is required, and even athletes on the court wear makeup.
    Yes, you can play basketball, you can even box–but you had better expose yourself, wear a skirt, put on sweat-proof makeup and make yourself look ridiculous while you do it.

    You can make music, but you had better stick to fronting a band made up of men, and sing like a little girl, and wear dresses and heels and show off your body while you do it.

    I could go on. This seems to me to be what is behind the ‘trans’ thing. Change your surface, and you’ll be OK with the world. You want to act like a ‘man’–that is, be strong, be free, do whatever you choose to do in whatever field you want, etc–YOU HAD BETTER LOOK LIKE A MAN. Or as close to it as hormones and surgery can get you. And on the other end, there’s nothing at all to being a woman, either. Just dress up, put on a mask, cut off this, stick on that, and there you are!

    But in the 21st century, after all that has changed–how can it be that women are defined almost exclusively by the way we appear, and not what we do; by the way we present, not what we know; by the very thinnest layer of our surfaces, and not who we are?

    Where do we begin in exposing this lie? How did so much of the liberation movement become lost in a pink cloud?

    • GallusMag Says:

      Trans is an absolute abortion of Gender Revolution. It makes me think back to some of the ideas expressed in The Beauty Myth. The fact that (paraphrasing) when women entered the industrialized economy and workforce en masse in the western world back in the 1970’s, and were now being compensated for labor that had always been performed for free as indentured servants under heteropatriarchy, the patriarchy responded by imposing advertising-type beauty standards on females as a requirement for economic viability. Unlike males who have always had uniforms of authority and professionalism (the suit), women had no such uniform, and no way to adopt a uniform of female professionalism and economic viability since female authority and management itself was a new invention. For a time, women successfully adopted a skirted version of the male suit as a uniform of female economic viability and professionalism. And women were on their way to establishing themselves in the workplace as equals. Like men, they wore their suits to work year after year. The fashion industry suffered. Professional women had adopted the suit, a fashion which does not need to be updated seasonally, or even annually. So the fashion industry applied pressure to all the media who received advertising dollars from the fashion industry, and all hell broke loose. Every magazine and newspaper from the New Yorker on down suddenly proclaimed the female business suit to be a symbol not of professionalism but of slovenlyness. Women dressed in professional attire were a symbol of dowdiness, lesbianism and economic UNviability. The “beauty” requirement for female participation in the economic workforce was established. There would be no female equivalent to the male uniform of the suit. There would be a “beauty requirement” established for women who wanted to participate in the new economy, one that was ever changing, season to season and needed frequent, expensive updating. Professional shirts with giant bows and destabilizing high heeled shoes. Enormous shoulder pads and tons of frills. Elaborate hairdos and make-up, make-up, make-up.
      You can still see this male gaze in effect in the way females in positions of authority are parsed endlessly on this or that detail of their dress. “Look at Hilary’s pantsuit- what a dyke”, “Sarah Palin: too slutty”. The elimination of a female professional uniform and the replacement with a beauty requirement for females seeking economic viability is the root cause of the current- ever increasing, never achievable, always changing- uniform of respectability.
      With every step forward females take, the noose of gender tightens. Now that female boxers may finally compete in the Olympics, regulatory authorities want to require them to wear mini-skirts.
      Gender is the last bastion, the last tool (before outright violence) that the sex-hierarchy has to maintain the economic, political, and social status of women in the western world. It is the final tactic in the suppression of a revolution.

      And the trans trenders, girls like the one in this video, are not stupid. They KNOW there is no future as women in performing femininity. They KNOW there is no true power or economic or social viability in it. They KNOW that only males retain power when performing femininity. They know in their GUTS and they are REVOLTING: but where to go? There is only one place to go as Wohom states above, and that pressure valve was CREATED BY males to maintain the very genderism that is oppressing women. The urge- the unstoppable urge of female revolt is being siphoned off into a new compliance option for the females who refuse to be treated like second class citizens, while still maintaining the status quo for generations of women to come.

  6. yerb Says:

    Very sad. Frightening, actually.

    Reminds me of Lea DeLaria’s, “You Are What You Wear.” Except that DeLaria was kidding.

  7. Bev Jo Says:

    Gallus, that is such a brilliant statement. You explain it all so well.

    You are right, wohom. And since it is now far more acceptable to “transition” than to come out as a young Lesbian — or even to be an obvious un-feminine girl — more girls will be tempted by this option. And how many girls? When questioned, almost all women say they were “tomboys” as girls, including extremely feminine women. So really, all girls will now be thinking of “transitioning” as an option to their oppression. It also certainly gives an out in terms of not being perceived as young Lesbians also. As one man in a documentary said about his daughter whose lover went from identifying as a Lesbian to calling herself a man, “At least my daughter isn’t a Lesbian now.”

    Not likely a Lesbian would be on Dancing with the Stars, but Chaz Bono is virtually worshipped for her “courage.” What’s the courage in selling herself and the rest of us out?

    And the video of the female impersonators…. They sure do hate us.

  8. yerb Says:

    Yes, Bev Jo, I agree with you about Gallus Mag’s brilliant comment. I think all the comments so far on this thread (not including mine, lol) are brilliant. RE: Dancing With the Stars, Ellen DeGeneres has declined to do it because she would not be allowed to dance with a woman. Apparently, a woman has to declare herself a man and have surgery to dance with a woman on there. Note that it was easier for Chastity Bono to be accepted onto that show as a “man” than for Ellen to dance with a woman on there.

    “…but Chaz Bono is virtually worshipped for her “courage.” What’s the courage in selling herself and the rest of us out?”

    You’re right: being “trans” is more acceptable on there than being lesbian. Also, the gays on there have all danced with women, not with other men.

  9. Bev Jo Says:

    You’re brilliant too, yerb! It does say it all. People can pretend to be anything they want as long as they continue to present the image of heterosexual. How freaked out they must be to forbid showing Lesbians or Gay men dancing with other Lesbians or gay men.

  10. Loup-loup garou Says:

    Where’s Nancy Reagan when you need her? What these girls need to hear is that they can Just Say No To Dresses. And pink socks. And pink sparkly stuff in general. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, (it depends on who their parents are), but soon, and for the rest of their lives.

  11. Bev Jo Says:

    I don’t get it though. Can you imagine growing up seeing examples like Ellen on TV — looking like a Lesbian and much-loved?

    I love the “Just Say No To Dresses.”

  12. yerb Says:

    Aw shucks, Bev🙂

    “…there are actually beloved Lesbians even on television now and some natural-looking women can be seen. This girl doesn’t even explain why she feels male.”

    Exactly, Bev. Perhaps now that “being trans” is so accepted, those falling for it no longer even feel a need to explain their decision and to articulate why they “feel male.” Which in turn further opens the door to people who simply feel uncomfortable in their patriarchal sex roles not having to talk/explain/think about that at all. They can just go for the drugs and surgery on the entirely unchallenged/unquestioned basis of not feeling comfortable in pink or dresses.

    Wohom said so well,

    “Patriarchy is using “transgender” as a way of corralling women and girls who have historically challenged and run free from it–women who either by nature or by political decision have not assumed the expected presentation, behavior, and assigned status of “girl/woman.”

    Trans today is the patriarchally acceptable alternative to being a reviled…feminist.

    Girls can safely steer clear of pink dresses and dolls by becoming male, instead of becoming a hated feminist. Being a feminist is even slammed in the readings in young women’s Gender Studies courses, while becoming trans is glorified. It’s the cool, edgy, but more acceptable thing to do.

    So now when women in my NOW chapter ask, “Where are the young women?” I can reply, “They decided to become male, instead.”

  13. yerb Says:

    It’s much more socially acceptable to mutilate one’s body than to go up against, challenge and replace patriarchy with feminist beliefs, organizations and institutions.

    • Barbara Di Bari Visconti Says:

      Guess we shouldn’t be surprised. Sigh. Everything on earth is more acceptable than going up against the patriarchy. Yet, if women, actually united, the patriarchy would be finished, just like that.

  14. FeistyAmazon Says:

    “With every step forward females take, the noose of gender tightens. Now that female boxers may finally compete in the Olympics, regulatory authorities want to require them to wear mini-skirts.
    Gender is the last bastion, the last tool (before outright violence) that the sex-hierarchy has to maintain the economic, political, and social status of women in the western world. It is the final tactic in the suppression of a revolution.

    And the trans trenders, girls like the one in this video, are not stupid. They KNOW there is no future as women in performing femininity. They KNOW there is no true power or economic or social viability in it. They KNOW that only males retain power when performing femininity. They know in their GUTS and they are REVOLTING: but where to go? There is only one place to go as Wohom states above, and that pressure valve was CREATED BY males to maintain the very genderism that is oppressing women. The urge- the unstoppable urge of female revolt is being siphoned off into a new compliance option for the females who refuse to be treated like second class citizens, while still maintaining the status quo for generations of women to come.” -GallusMag

    THANK YOU GALLUS MAG FOR THIS FORUM, AND THIS STATEMENT ABOVE. It is so clear, concise, direct and the truth as to EXACTLY WHY young womyn and girls want to transition to male. May I quote it on my blog DykesforDykes(full credit to you of course)? And this video is no better than any of the rest, in fact very poorly done between the lighting, bouncing around of the camera, ect….it still all comes down to dress, and ‘not fitting in’..and how can you know REALLY who you are at age 14, and then submitting to hormones and surgeries at such a young age?
    It’s revolting against feminine roles, femininity and limited choices females have in an even more overwhelmingly patriarchal society without strong Lesbian or Feminist businesses, spaces or opportunities to show a different face. The trans movement is ultimately conformist, it NEVER QUESTIONS the root of the problem which is the intense subjugation of ANY woman who doesn’t conform, and punishes her for not doing so, and rewarding those who do…I do remember the female alternative to male suits, and they went out as being ‘too tailored’ i.e. dykey looking, cuz Dykes COULD wear them and be power professionals(and some still do), and anything that smacks of female resistance to heterosex must be suppressed and villified, and any females that are blatantly Butchy and Dykey looking, appearing or acting must also be suppressed like said Female boxers, one of which appeared at Butch Voices and announced her intentions and training to be in the Olympics, Patricia Manuel I believe…a total Butch. How humiliating to be forced into wearing a skirt, because for once there are some boxers that actually ARE very talented and Butch making it up to a high level, and we wouldn’t want a real true blue Butch in all her glory winning an Olympic title now, would we???? And scaring off the men with her presence, or the feminine women who may compete against her, and by implication they might be Lesbian too, eh, just by being associated with a Butch Dyke in sport??? Fucking how Lesbophobic. For that matter so is the whole Trans movement.

    And those drag queens telling teenage girls what to do, and mocking them at the same time? SHEESH. When will the weirdness ever end????
    -FeistyAmazon

  15. Bev Jo Says:

    I quoted your brilliant statement on my fb page and listed your link, Gallus, and have gotten good responses already. (One way to find out you your friends are.)

    I keep thinking of how I called my original article from 1997, when I first found out about Lesbians wanting to be men: “Better to Be Anything that a Lesbian.” And it’s also true, “Better to Be Anything than a Girl or Woman.” I mean, it isn’t of course, so why do any believe that? That is how they are acting.

    It’s all connected with male worshipping, which is very hard to escape in patriarchy. Almost all girls and women call any animal they see “he,” which I’m still surprised at, after all these years of feminism. But that’s part of it too. It’s putting males first and valuing them much more than females. Males are the default animal and the default human. It all has to change, in mind and spirit. There’s also equating maleness with courage (testicles of all things — bizarre, really.) So Feminists, in an effort to change it, make comments about having ovaries — but it all just leads back to imitation being a form of flattery. Why equate anything like that with courage at all? Seminar is another male genital-derived terms, so Feminists have “Ovulars.” Why? Let’s stop copying them at all and just go the so much further we can go.

    If we keep dismantling the small lies and cons, they do add up.

  16. yerb Says:

    From BevJo,

    “There’s also equating maleness with courage (testicles of all things — bizarre, really.) So Feminists, in an effort to change it, make comments about having ovaries — but it all just leads back to imitation being a form of flattery. Why equate anything like that with courage at all? Seminar is another male genital-derived terms, so Feminists have “Ovulars.” Why? Let’s stop copying them at all and just go the so much further we can go.

    If we keep dismantling the small lies and cons, they do add up.”

    GREAT insight, BevJo. Thank you.

    Does anyone else here think that F2Ts are simply ascribing to and copying male-defined “trans” beliefs? It sure seems that way to me.

  17. Bev Jo Says:

    Thanks, yerb. I forgot to add that even more disgusting and silly at the same time is how those who are wimpy and cowardly are called “pussies.” What a reversal of reality. Females are incredibly courageous. It makes me remember a story I read about teenagers swimming in a lake when an alligator attacked a girl. The boys rushed out of the water, but a fourteen year old girl rescued a girl she didn’t even know.

    Yes, I agree that F2Ts are following the trans cult rules, invented by men.


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