What do you like or desire most about being a trans “woman/man” ?

January 26, 2012

“Woman”:

Seriously, People talk to me now and I talk to them. As a woman I am not seen as a threat. 

The freedom to feel freely. The freedom to love freely. The freedom to emote freely.

Oh, yeah, the clothes … the accessories … the fragrances … the spa treatments … the sunbathing … the girl talk … the sandals … the shopping … the dining …. well, YOU KNOW!!! Uhhh, feelin’ good, lookin’ good, smellin’ good … hee hee!

To me, womanhood indicates less competition amongst peers. I see less of the “urinating contests” among women than I do men. Also, I feel that allowing for more personal vanity is more in line with my own identity, rather than the limited avenues for expression I find men allow themselves(generally speaking, that is). I’d rather be a part of a group of sisters that fuss at each other but still love each other(and aren’t afraid to say it like it is), than be part of any “brotherhood” where the guiding philosophy seems to be “Every man for himself, unless it’s to my advantage(and ONLY my advantage, not yours) to help you”. Yes, that’s stereotyping. Yes, that’s not how all men are. I understand that. On the other hand, why do women complain about men if there aren’t things about them that exasperate… well, anyone else, for that matter? Something at the core of masculinity is at odds with who I am so much, that I simply CANNOT move in men’s circle’s anymore. I tried, I honestly did. The end result for me is that, in the immortal words of my dear Lizzie here, “Girl world beats the hell outta guy world!” Why? Because it’s just not where I belong, and I never will understand why anyone would allow themselves to be caught in that kind of circus of competitiveness.

Bleah. I like glamour. And if it doesn’t make life better for me in some way, don’t bother me with it.

I really appreciate that I can express my emotions, good or bad, and ask for support when I need it. I also like a lot, getting and giving hugs to women, men whatever. I like being able to say “oh, that’s sooo cute”. I like that I can enjoy the full spectrum of color. I like that I can dress according to how I feel with few boundaries. I like flowers. I like taking care of myself. I like taking care of others. All without worrying what someone else might think.

That my personality, animations/expressions, and typing/phrasing won’t be “weird.”  Example: my World of Warcraft guild thought I was actually female (I played a female Night Elf until recently…race changed her to a Worgen) from the way I typed, until one of my RL friends called me by my real name in chat…’twas awkward…especially for the lesbian guildie that wanted to get to know me more!

#1 never having to follow the man code ever again…being able to show non sexual afection to a friend without being seen as gay. The huge amount of hugs. Being able to speak with others on an emotional level. The cloths , cloths , cloths , cloths…did i happen to metion cloths…lol..Being able to finaly express myself any way I desire. No longer having to worry about how i walk, talk , move , body language..finaly its who I am.

The female libido. I absolutely HATED having a male libido. I’m so happy with how it is for me now, I haven’t lost interest in sexuality, but it’s a much different experience. There’s so much more adventure and imagination to it now. I wish I could get my hands on some good romance novels, because I think I could really appreciate them. My sister had a bunch when I was younger, and I actually thumbed through one that I wish I could find now, but I don’t remember the author or title.

If being a male I could wear cute pjs after shower, use fresh soap and aromatic candles, sleep with plushies, tackle hug my friends without them feel weirded, solve problems with a smile, sing with my voice which I love without freaking people, wear my hair long and style it as I want, like everything I like from my chococat cushions to cooking for my brother or chatting casually with my boyfriend, express emotions, be happy when I want to be happy, cry when I feel sad, let out a squee when something supercute appears… if I could look like me and not like a hairy bear, and wouldn’t have to play those ‘one more than you’ games guys usually play… maybe I wouldn’t have a problem being a male. But I think the person I just described would be what we normally call female.

The thing I think about most is being able to have friends that I can relate to.

I think the two thing I like most is being able to get all dolled up with the nails done, and get a beautiful dress and nice heels and hopefully one day to become that girl that walks into a room and people stop what they re doing just to look at you, i dont know if that superficial but I think that be special. Second is the friend ships that girls have with each other, un like the kind that guys have where they call eachother names and make fun of eachother for entertainment.

for me its expressing yourself however you want and the clothes soo much cuter and more comfortable.

I love being told by a man that I’m pretty.  And although its only been once so far, I love the feeling I got (all the way down to my toes) when a man kissed me.

I love the way I look in the morning when my makeup is fresh and my skin is soft and smooth. I love being able to have a conversation with almost any woman anywhere and feel like I fit right in, even if its talk about periods and hot flashes.  I love being free to show any emotion I please, anywhere I please. I love belonging to the “woman’s club.” And yes, I love shopping.

Oh my god yes! Shopping! I love shopping, even if it’s just for groceries. I don’t know if that’s exclusively a woman thing though….in fact, my wife hates shopping.

I can add to the man thing you mentioned. If I were single, of course, I’ve always kind of wanted to be picked up and carried by a big strong man, …Or even just being playful and being carried piggyback, but in a romantic playful sort of way.

Before transition I really envied the interaction between girls. I always felt an outsider when amongst a group of them. They just treated me differtly than they do each other. Once I went full-time I totally fell right into that. Now i think I kind of take it for granted. Then before surgery, I just really wanted my underwear to fit:)

Openness with feelings, and being involved with litttle gossip and conversation that I never was able to do as a male. A new ease in talking to people. OH YEAH, my second GREAT adolescence thats going the right way!!

For me i think of of the biggest things is that I that girl i see in the mirror SO much better than that ugly guy that used to be there (I wonder if her just got transfered to another mirror…). and I like the fact that I can now be social. I used to be so uncomfortable in social situations, but now I can follow my girly instincts and have a good time.

now as far as everything else …

Spandex in clothes is great

having to iron not so much

having a purse with all you stuff and not having to worry about leaving stuff in pockets is a win

but not having a pocket for those times you really need one, not good

Shoes Shoes Shoes!!!

now if they would just come in my size…

not being expected to keep up with sports.. so great

you know there really isn’t any down side to that one…

The clothes are more fun, the designs, the colors, the textures, etc but I think what I yearn for the most about being a girl is to be treated like one. I want to be a daughter, a sister, an auntie, a mother. I want to be able to be in a group of girls and be one of them because I identify alot more with them than I do with guys. I usually feel akward in a group of guys somehow, like uncomfortable, when they start talking ‘guy talk’. But put me in a group of girls and I instantly click, except for the fact that they see me as another guy =/

I wanna have a relationship with people as a girl but when I’m alone, I want to be able to look in the mirror and see a confident, beautiful, strong woman that I know is in there.

I can stop asking “Would a guy do this?” before every action I do. I can stop paying attention to things that don’t interest me so I can make small talk. I can stop pretending I’m lost in the women’s sections of stores. (I must have an awful sense of direction). I can start talking to who I want about what I want. (At my kid’s basketball games, one of the mom’s is a great dresser. while dads talk sports, I’d love to talk to her about her outfits, but…)

Motherhood, I love children and caring for them. I think carrying a child and giving birth would be the ultimate womanly experience. I have gotten as close as I can in this life with my family, perhaps somewhere beyond this existence my dream will come true. I always loved interacting with the other Mom’s when I was in Mom # 2 mode doing things with our kids as they grew. Raising and caring for children is especially gratifying to me. I have always loved listening to and participating in women’s conversations, there is a special bond between them and warmth I never really could experience in the male world (so cold at times).

honestly its breasts and long hair… i always wanted breasts and long hair. i just started growing my hair long and i have a really good padded bra(a lil poor right now for proper breast forms so i make due) for when i go out i got really curly hair so i like to straigten it

I have grown rather fond of the fact that I can wear whatever I want and have it considered tasteful/fashionable instead of just plain “wierd” when I am out in the world.

‘ll finally be able to say I bought one of my favorite guitars off eBay because it was purple with an awesome ivy neck inlay rather than “it was a parts guitar that I happened to like the way it plays!” Also, I’ll finally be able to show interest in clothes (already have my “first day out” outfit picked out!) and be able to style my hair without question

For me it’s a love-hate relationship. I love being able to talk to most of my friends about almost anything and I love that they reveal intimate details about their lives to me. It’s part of being in the club. lol. What I don’t like is if someone doesn’t talk to me, but I learned earlier in my transition that some women just really don’t like other women so they won’t befriend them, talk to them, or even look at them. They prefer the company of guys because, in their mind, guys aren’t catty or back-stabby like women are. Although I’m not catty or back-stabby I guess since I’m perceived as female I’m automatically lumped into that category.

I love the attention I get when I put in the effort to look amazing, both from other women and men. ..then again I seethe when I see guys trip over their feet just to have a chance to talk to “that cute blonde over there”.

I love being able to talk to my friends and guys nearby have no clue what the heck we’re talking about or just chalk it up to girl talk and they just roll their eyes. Or if a couple guys are sitting around talking and there’s maybe two or three girls nearby listening we can talk amongst ourselves or look over at the other girl and without saying a word have a conversation about whoever is yammering on about some trucker tale

Humm…. for me, part of it have o do with clothes, to wear anything you want regardless how it looks compar to males they care about the apparents of male means to them that it has too look and seem masculine enough for them to waer it so they don’t preseen as gay. Than there’s that womenly bonding you have with other women. To be able to shear any thoughts and feeling. Just don’t over do it cause it like another thing it get aynoring after a while. Shear and talking about relationship and sexual info, which is funny. There is not much different in ways other females communicate like men do just a little different even tho its still girl talk. As far as relationnship goes as I an single. I was dating and I love to express my intreset in the guy, let him be a man that he is. I love to show passionate affection towards him and sexually. Love how they want to provide and protect you. Love to be swept off my feet. I like how guys can be a gentalmen and hold the door for you, and let you in first, and want to help you with certain things. I certian ly hate doing alot of thing when a was a boy and still get treated the same way by my family thinking I still muscle which I don’t anymore. I’m weak now. Like help move Heavy funitures and doing manly work outside. I hated it, even wearing a suit I just wanted to rip it off and wear a dress or not go at all to any formal event. As Iv been out and full time I’m still not included in any female event with the women in my family.

I finally feel like when I talk to someone…they are on the same level. Knowing you are conversing in a way that is congruent with who you are after suppressing that for almost 30 years is just a mega sigh of relief.

I just want to be able to talk to women and not have them feel like they can’t be honest with me or let their guard down because I’m a “man”.

For me it is the freedom to not feeling like I have to live up to standards that don’t fit me. the clothes are nice as well.

Actually the fact that i haven’t worn pants in well over a year. No i don’t go bottomless, i wear skirts and dresses everyday.

Yeah, it’ll be nice to not have to try to be a part of the “ol’ boys club” or try to be hypermasculine and whatnot. It’ll be such a relief to not be expected to laugh at fart jokes or Larry the Cable Guy… Oh yeah, I can wear me some purple, too! (I had to say I liked the Utah Jazz in high school to wear purple [I wore team shirts…]…I freakin’ hate basketball! But I love football and baseball…GO BENGALS AND CUBBIES!)

Being able to express emotions without shame.

Dress the way you want to dress.

Being able to look at guys without getting creepy “what the intercourse” feedback look.

I like the fact that you have so much to choose from in dress from casual to dress up dress down cloths but Ifeel if you are trully a a woman you want everyone around you to notice you be it looks, appearance your. I want everyone to see me notice me for me maybe Ill be a woman of mystery.

shoes, shoes, shoes and also shoes. the nail treatments are nice as well

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“Man”:

I think I would have to answer that it is strength. And being seen as strong physically for my age as well as spiritually and mentally.

The mental and emotional is a two edged sword in my opinion and can become a trap but I still value it. And being physically strong-not a muscle man or anything, just strong -has always been important to me. Perhaps because I am exceedingly independent and being strong means I can take care of my needs myself. And help others when they need it. Kind of eye opening to realize that is what I value as a masculine trait. Of course there is integrity and all that implies and it is more important to me than strength but I don’t see it as a male characteristic. I really don’t tend to define a lot in terms of gender except strength and forthrightness. Being very direct and I also value that in myself. I have always been told I was more masculine than feminine that way so it must be a male trait by society’s definition anyway.

In a way this is hard because I don’t want to be a man because I particularly value or desire things about being a man. I just am. Guess I’ll have to stick with being strong. Everything else pretty much is the same for men and women except expressed differently. I also love not caring so much about appearance. People understand now if I wear the same soft old shirt all the time. Laundered and put right back on. And my jeans that feel so natural. No real concern if something is a current fashion and no accessorizing. Comfort rules the day. Yeah -I like that. A lot. My inner slob can come out and play-at least at home.

To me a man is a provider and a protector and by this I don’t mean that the woman is helpless, it’s a primal and natural feeling for me and I want to take care of the woman I care about as well as my woman friends but that is a different kind of relationship. Honesty and being dependable and this means true to myself regardless of the challenges and being there for my friends and the woman I love unconditionally. Being that rock for your woman when her world is falling apart and she may take it out on you but it is because she knows you will be there for her.

Assertiveness and independence. To me knowing I can take care of myself and I am a take charge of guy is important. I am talking about being confident and not controlling and about being decisive.

For me, I think it’s about being able to help people physically. I actually find charity work to be fun, but every time I volunteer somewhere, I get put with children, or put to work doing something equally feminine…it’s not really about being seen as masculine, though. At school, when the janitors need help moving the wrestling mats, I want them to think, “Oh, Jesse’ll help!”. Instead, when I OFFER to help (I actually did help them move the mats once, and I did just fine) what they tell me is, “Oh, let’s leave it to the guys” ….even if the guys don’t wanna do it. The only reason I got to help the one time was because my English teacher is feminist and started to out-and-out argue with the principal, who was present. I just want to be able to help people like that. I don’t like kids, and I don’t appreciate people assuming that I do well with them because they think I’m a woman. I like being able to help people do things that they can’t do themselves, and I like offering my assistance to others. People often assume I can’t help them, though, because “I’m not a guy”

Seriously, I just want to fit in. I am an outgoing person and men just seem to be able to kibitz and joke the way I do. Does this makes sense?

I want it to finally be okay when I throw a great spiral; I’m tired of other guys slinking off because they think they’re being one-upped by a girl.

Seriously, like John, I see myself as a provider and a protector. I look forward to other people seeing me that way. I’m also looking forward to people looking at me in approval when I roughhouse with my kids instead of tsk-tsking that that’s not how women are supposed to act.

I wonder how the outward gender change will affect people’s outlook on me as a solo parent. Most of the single moms I know still face some kind of stigma; I know a few full-time single dads who get loads of praise for raising children alone.

I also look forward to being like all the other guys I grew up around who flirt harmlessly with women (I don’t know how to explain it … the Southern man thing where they can casually wink at a woman and it’s charming, not creepy or seen as trying to hard … you have to see it to understand it) and tell great stories, etc. I know those are things women can do, but I’ve never felt free enough to to do them while being seen as a female. The funny thing about this is as I try to move from one sex to another and from one gender role to another, I wind up using stereotypes and societal expectations to describe my ideal self.

Every work environment I’ve been in, I wind up with the guys, joking and shooting the breeze. They accept me; usually, the women don’t or don’t know how to respond to a masculine personality in a female shape.

I like the dominance and to be honest to have a penis!

Having a deep voice; particularly for singing. I admire baritone male singers most of all, and would love to be able to sound like that one day. Having a flat, 100% male chest. And most of the others aren’t really things that people can’t do in some capacity as a female… (As I’m a strong disbeliever in gender stereotypes) But for me to do any of them comfortably, I’d have to be male, as I feel I should be on the male side of the spectrum. Being able to go around without a shirt and not be considered vulgar or nude. (or without having to feel extremely dysphoric, of course, because of female parts… Because, you know even if I were on a nudist beach, I wouldn’t go topless as a girl.) Being able to joke with a group of guys about things that would seem inappropriate for mixed-sex friends, and just otherwise fit in completely as one of the boys. Rebel against gender stereotypes as a male, rather than a female. –> Being able to wear androgynous clothing, make-up, etc. and have that be considered rebellion, rather than simply comforming to the ‘norm’ for a girl. And feeling less obligated to prove strength and be overly masculine. Ironic, yes, but it’s because I hate gender stereotypes, and feel I have to prove I’m not a girl. I’d love to not worry about that anymore. I’d be less competitive and no longer insecure. I’d be perfectly happy if a girl kicked my bum at something. Wear what I want and have my hair however I’d like as a male. (And get to be a girly boy rather than being a masculine, butch girl.) Be attractive as a male. (Being considered ‘hot’ or ‘sexy’ as a girl CREEPS me out! ) That’s basically it, well other than… erm… not having to be plagued by certain ‘functions’ anymore. And in fact, I’d love to have the male ones, instead.  And though it’s not biologically possible in the conventional way, I’d probably like to be a dad — I’m too much a kid, myself, mentally and emotionally right now, but maybe someday in the distant future. (Whereas being a mother scares me even if I’m not giving birth….)

Burly voice. I love listening to myself in the morning

I gotta say almost everything. But, the things I desire more than anything about being a man is: Be able to fit in and be seen as a normal man, not a woman that changed to a man. I want people to see me as biologically male because even if I was born a female, I was actually a guy all the time since I was just born in the wrong way. Look good…I want to have girls go wow with my looks like I was a cisgendered male and leave them in doubt of me being transsexual since I look…um….. hot. ..oops, looks like I just spoke for many FTMs in here with that. Have top surgery! That’s all…I want those three stuff more than having a penis and stuff like that.

I tend to be a protector and want to provide for others. While I can be sensitive and can yield when it is most appropriate to do so, I am a leader and a warrior in so many ways. I step forward in any confrontation that threatens my household, my loved ones, and am sure the interests of my loved ones are totally protected. I work hard to change laws in order to offer more protections to the most vulnerable members of our society. I can go on and on; yet, in all honesty, it is possible a strong female might do much the same. So, as I think about the type of info you are looking for, I think I best answer this by telling you how much I adore women! Women seriously stoke the male energy within. I adore women, yet I truly do not want to be a woman. I want to protect them, provide for them, encourage them, support them, escort them, cherish them, comfort them, honor them, love them. I am so very attracted to women. I love their style, their walk, their lipstick, their beauty, their… everything. So incredibly… wow! I enjoy the strong response I have to women.

I enjoy the simplicity of men’s clothing, men’s styles… the simplicity of men’s lives. I am comfortable as a man. I love my one-on-one time with a woman, with the woman I love. In social groups, I am much more comfortable with men. I don’t care for men without integrity and men whom do not show tremendous respect toward women. I thoroughly enjoy my time with other men… socially and for business. We often think alike. Within social groups, I identify with men of social power and of integrity. Yet, when the work of the day is done, I want to retreat with my beautiful, sensitive, soft, sensuous female lover. I don’t want to watch television with her… no, no, no! I want to hold her, look into her beautiful eyes, listen to her, show her affection and appreciation, attend to her needs.

Manly things that I already have and love: My chivalry, it makes me feel like a noble Knight of King Athur’s court! Things I wish I had: Big hands and impressive physical skill.

like a few of the other guys have said, I see myself as a protector. I want to be able to care for the women in my life in a masculine way.

–       There are a lot of physical things to like physical strangth, having a flat chest, and being able to stand and pee

Oh there is lots…

I like being able to eat as much as I want (usually a lot!) when there are others around and not having anyone comment negatively on it. Instead people just say “Oh what a hungry man you are, you must’ve worked hard today.”

Being able to eat all the meat I want without anyone thinking it’s inappropriate. Also, being able to sweat and groan as much as I want when I work out and not having anyone comment or stare. Being able to help carry heavy/bulky stuff, changing a tire, changing a light bulb without people taking it away from me and telling me to “Leave it to the guy(s) when he (they) get here.”

I like not having to smile and laugh at stuff that is not funny or cute only to be polite and make others feel good. Like, not being expected to touch people’s arms all the time and say sweet stuff. I am a nice person but I am more into pats on the back. Yeah, all in all, not being expected to be so damn sweet all the time.

Not having people tone down the bad language, change to a more civilized subject etc. when I join a conversation. It’s much, much better (for me) to just be included in a fun conversation. Not having people look at me like I’m completely retarded and a unsuccessful failure as a human being when I tell them I can’t cook to save my life and that I still don’t get many basic principles behind doing my laundry. Not having people act as if I am completely supernatural and calling me a “handy girl” or other lame stuff when I tell them that I can fix my bike and change the oil in my truck by myself. And lots of other stuff…

I’ve never been in a particularly gender role oriented world, so I have a hard time thinking of traits as “male”. I remember, as a little kid when Grandma would take me to church, trying to sing hymns in a deep voice. I used to run around wearing a hard hat and mittens when I was two, because I wanted to be a construction guy like my dad. I built things with Grandpa and wore my dad’s old clothes when I visited their house. I couldn’t stand when my mother would ask for help fixing things and putting things together, and I learned how to do everything I could, and I didn’t really have men around as role models much at all after I was 10. But I learned to use power tools, wire stuff, do plumbing, landscape, etc, because those things suited me. In my marriage to a man, I did those things, too, and he didn’t. I’ve always, since I can remember, wanted to be seen as chivalrous. I held doors for girls, and I carried things. Still do, but I have a fiance who is as strong as me and doesn’t much let me do things for her. She hurt her elbow, and I finally get to carry stuff for her. ;-) I guess I don’t have a real answer. I need to look more male, because I do have body dysphoria. But I never really thought any of the above wasn’t anything a woman didn’t do, besides singing hymns in a deep voice.

While I want to be a guy, I don’t want to be masculine. I like my body frame as it is, aside from the obvious markers as being a girl. I really, really want a flat chest. I don’t care if people find me attractive as a girl, but as a guy. I like to imagine that people that don’t know me around school are trying to figure out if I’m a boy or a girl (and hopefully decide boy). I do like the feminine or emo boy look. Maybe as a girl I’m not very feminine, but as a guy I would be, and I want that. Not in a girly way but kind of a flamboyant way.

I want to save myself the hassle of going to the restroom. It’s bad enough that I get all the stares when I step in the female restroom at school, but I have to wait cause they take too long to pee. And some of them change their clothes in the stalls so you can’t use the toilet even if you are in dire need. It’s really annoying. I get to escape this when I’m not in school. I just use common restrooms. Saves me from a bunch of stares.

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[sic] From a transgender forum.

22 Responses to “What do you like or desire most about being a trans “woman/man” ?”

  1. FeistyAmazon Says:

    I’ll just say one paragraph: sex role stereotypes to the hilt…no wonder I have such a hard time in construction as a Butch Dyke! No matter what, unless I’m a guy, I’ll NEVER fit in! Nor do I want to be. Both responses are very telling in the whole underlying sexism thing. -FeistyAmazon

  2. yttik Says:

    Good grief, reading about what it’s like to be a woman has just made me realize I must be doing gender all wrong! I feel nearly the complete opposite of everything said.

    “As a woman I am not seen as a threat.” Well I am. Every damn day. That’s why there’s such a cultural effort to keep me and my entire gender in our place.

    “womanhood indicates less competition amongst peers.” Wow, astounding, because one of the hardest things to do is build solidarity with other women. We’re trained from day one to view each other as competition, as a threat.

    I hate shopping. I hate glamor because it doesn’t feel glamorous at all. It’s stressful, awkward and uncomfortable.

    It’s kind of funny, I identify more with the “man” perspective. A few things don’t fit, but for the most part that’s a better description of me. What makes it funny is that I’m definitely a woman and a pretty girly one at that.

    This made me sad: “I like not having to smile and laugh at stuff that is not funny or cute only to be polite and make others feel good.” Yeah. That sucks. Unfortunately you can’t surgically remove it, it’s a symptom of gender oppression. Black folks used to have to pretend they were cheerful and grateful too. When you’re on the bottom of the ladder, you learn real fast to try and please those who have power over you.

    • RoseVerbena Says:

      What? You don’t stand around looking like this at yourself in the mirror all the time?

      Yeah. Me neither. Sheesh.

  3. BadDyke Says:

    Yeah, all the way through, the obvious desire to FIT IN — rather than challenge the stereotypes of the sex they are.

    Gawd, all these people who seem to think that liking shopping is some essential part of being female (okay, I’ve heard the evolutionary psychology arguments about women and gathering, but I don’t buy it!). Only one person said something sensible when they mentioned motherhood, but unless the womb-transplant nutters get their way, that ain’t gonna happen.

    On the other side — a desire to be strong — cos we all know that women are such delicate little flowers, who need a big strong manly man to look after them, cherish them, and protect them………

    “I think I best answer this by telling you how much I adore women! ” Blatant lesbophobia, right there in yer face.

    “and being able to stand and pee” Well, my wife can do this perfectly well, as many females can, just we have to shift the underwear around a bit to do so. Makes me want to get all us women out there, gleefully pissing in all the gutters the way men do……….

    The level of sexism, lesbophobia and plain-ole conservatism is astounding, whatever lame-brain excuses the trans crowd come out with as to WHY trans folk with supposedly ‘female’ brains want to do all the bloody stupid things that so many women have been trying to escape from for so long.

    Perhaps I wouldn’t mind so much if we could just employ them to do all the shopping.cleaning and shitwork we get stuck with, since they seem to think it’s such an essential part of being a woman………..

  4. Nicky Says:

    I’ll say one thing, Male view of what they think a woman is or a Trans view of what a woman is. Though sickening as to what trans think women is.

  5. Loup-loup garou Says:

    Summary: the M2Ts quoted here want to be seen as Jessica Rabbit, Barbie, and Betty Boop all rolled into one. The F2Ts want *not* to be seen this way. Both groups believe that women are sexpot cartoon characters or dolls, and that anyone who isn’t must be a man.

  6. jane hathaway Says:

    What a good post.

    It’s obvious they are doing nothing but objectifying us.

    TRANSITIVE VERB: objectify
    ob·jec·ti·fied, ob·jec·ti·fy·ing, ob·jec·ti·fies
    To present or regard as an object: “Because we have objectified animals, we are able to treat them impersonally” (Barry Lopez).
    To make objective, external, or concrete: thoughts objectified in art.
    http://education.yahoo.com/reference/dictionary/entry/objectify

  7. SheilaG Says:

    Why would any of these things have to do with being male or female? Women wanted power, wanted jobs, wanted to play in a symphony orchestra. Women created the women’s movement so that women don’t have to wear dresses if we don’t want to.

    If men want to show emotion, show it. Learn how to be emotional, challenge the male macho establishment.

    Nothing listed above is about being male or female, it is about being human in complex ways. Yeah, you hug a guy, and someone might think you’re gay.
    So what. Just hug guys. You don’t have to slice up your bodies to conform. But you do have to get out and challenge sex role stereotypes, and make the world safe for all people to wear dresses or not. Yeah, women fought for the right to wear pants, guys, if you want to wear dresses then YOU HAVE TO PROTEST and make this happen, just like feminists did. It take political work to end sex role oppression. Work.

    • RoseVerbena Says:

      So much of this varies from culture to culture anyway. In some Asian cultures, heterosexual men walk around holding hands with their best (male, heterosexual) buddies. There is nothing BIOLOGICAL about men hugging or not hugging. It’s a social construct. Are they so ignorant that they can’t understand that their stereotypes have NOTHING to do with “brain biology” and everything to do with uncritical acceptance of cultural norms?

    • Ashura Says:

      I agree on that people should never conform and just be themselves, and feel free to be what they are no matter what sex they have.

  8. Bev Jo Says:

    These men may not be seen as a threat, but they certainly are. Again, what a joke they make out of what it means to be a woman. Oh sorry, “girl.” They’re “girls.” Trivializing, caricaturizing, objectifying. Who wouldn’t recognize what they are? It’s SO obvious. And again, these men are watching too much tv. Their fantasies show how men are the main writers for fluffy girl characters on tv “chick” shows. But the fantasy is more real than the reality of his wife hating shopping. And all the toxic scented crap he thinks is girly? He’s part of why women with Multiple Chemical Sensitivities have such a painful time in public places.

    I don’t identify with any of this stereotyped, shallow, silly crap. What these men most love about being a “girl” is what I fought all the way.

    Interesting that the men wanting to be girls write just about themselves — everything is ALL about them. The women wanting to be men at least talk about actually loving and wanting to give love to other women. Revealing about being aware of the obvious female-hatred in the world, but no wanting to fight it — just to escape it.

    There is no excuse for any woman to be this oblivious.

    Excellent, Gallus. Thank you.

    • RoseVerbena Says:

      You raised an excellent point. The narcissism in the “trans woman” posts is glaring.

      Through their own words, you can practically see them getting themselves off staring into a mirror in their “girly” drag.

      Yich. The autogynephilia is right there for all the world to see, however much they deny it.

      • Nicky Says:

        Yeap and narcissism is a very common trait within the Trans community. It’s so glaring that you can even see it and spot it from a mile away. It’s common in crackpots as well.

  9. BadDyke Says:

    “Interesting that the men wanting to be girls write just about themselves — everything is ALL about them. The women wanting to be men at least talk about actually loving and wanting to give love to other women. Revealing about being aware of the obvious female-hatred in the world, but no wanting to fight it — just to escape it. ”

    Yes, I didn’t spot that!

    “What these men most love about being a “girl” is what I fought all the way.”

    Years ago, I think that was what decided my first gut response to transwomen coming into lesbian-only nights at our gay centre — theye were the epitome of everything I had been fighting against. Their demands to be accepted as women on that basis hence fell totally flat, and the only people who were going to be impressed by how girly-perfect they were were their fellow men.

  10. Violet Gray Says:

    Hello. Transperson here.
    [We know. We remember you from your “hole” comments in the Sherbourne Health Centre thread. You were asked- quite nicely I thought- not to comment here anymore. The fact that this latest comment contained multiple questions for my readers that would be easily answered simply by reading the very blog you are posting on only confirms my decision. Do not comment here again. Goodbye. -GM]

  11. Violet Gray Says:

    O.k., fair enough. But when was I asked to leave?

    {https://gendertrender.wordpress.com/2012/01/02/whats-up-with-toronto-sherbourne-health-center-threatening-lesbians/
    -GM]

  12. RoseVerbena Says:

    Biology of the brain — my ass.

    Sex. Role. Stereotypes.

    Times a million…to the nth degree.

    Sigh.

    Are all “trans” people really just borderline, intellectually? Are they collectively as dumb as a box of rocks? Can they simply not manage the bare fundamentals of critical thinking about society, culture and the pernicious nature of gender-based roles in a patriarchy?

    “I want to wear pink frosted nails and gossip with the girls. I don’t like football. I like shoes.”

    “I want to wear blue flannel and be strong and independent. I don’t like to fuss with my hair. I like feeling protective of my family.”

    UGH!!!!!!!

  13. jen Says:

    Are MTFs all wealthy? Where do they get the idea that the average woman has money (or the desire) to spend all her time shopping and having her nails done? They really think that life as a woman is a Sex and the City episode. How insulting to suggest that the essence of womanhood is consumerism.

    If these “girls” can pull off looking feminine in the first place, do they think they will look young and girly forever? Even if a woman is in good shape and conventionally attractive in her thirties and forties, she will not get the same attention from men that she did in her twenties. The idea that you can force others to perceive you as you perceive yourself is quite mad. Few MTFs manage to be attractive at all to straight men.

    It sounds like they haven’t considered growing old as a “woman.” As Bette Davis said, it ain’t for sissies.

  14. FeistyAmazon Says:

    And the older they get the more maleness you see in their faces, the more they cover them over with makeup, especially the autogynophilic late transitioners….and in NO WAY do they really identify with women’s struggles, or Lesbian ones, only on how they can fuck us(if they claim being Lesbian), or how they can outshine us with their male constructed femininity, or their glamour, ect…like in one book I read: ‘The Maybelline version of womanhood’….very aptly put. Being female is not all about the glamour…and only a very small percentage of women are considered that glamourous and can live up to that, and almost always for the male gaze. There’s also the prostitute about so many MTF’s(not all)but many, where they try to depict themselves as hypersexual sex objects(which of course other bio men appreciate who are either fooled, looking the other way, bisexual or very closety homosexual).

    Any man who dates an MTF in my book is at the very least bisexual. Any woman, Dyke included, who dates an MTF, is the same….people can argue with me till the cows come home..but I will NEVER see ANY MTF as “Lesbian”…but as a castrated male who is attempting to steal the Lesbian label and living his heterosexuality out in the Lesbian community, and trying to treat us like he treated his former wives and girlfriends, and we just won’t kowtow that way…..he’s best going after bisexual women then, or having a ‘Lesbian’ (same sex) relationship with another MTF, which I have seen quite frequently.

    -FeistyAmazon

  15. fwancis Says:

    To twanzracers: What do you like or desire most about being twanz black/twanz white?

    Twanz black: “I get to play black people dress ups and act black like I see on TV like I’ve always wanted and it’s so much fun!!”

    Twanz white: “I get treated with respect.”

  16. Nicky Says:

    That’s the same thing with intersex as well. Trans always like to desire to be intersex and on all their trans sites and forums theirs always a question of trying to help them get diagnosed or claim to be intersex because they believe that by claiming to be intersex, that they can use as an excuse to justify their transition.


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