The Neo-Vagina Monologues

August 25, 2013


like women, vaginas dont have much of a voice in a patriarchal, misogynist culture.  thus, a woman playwright created “the vagina monologues.” 

the title was shocking, but even more so was the very notion that vaginas, like women, have experiences. of course, born-women know that.  but not surprisingly, noone ever asks about womens experiences, or those of our vaginas.  now that someone has mentioned it, my vagina is pretty pissed off too. all vaginas are, thats the whole point. 

vaginas are pissed off because they are treated like shit, like garbage. like toys. when in reality, vaginas are organs. organs, like hearts and lungs are organs. got that? good.  and organs, like, do stuff.  they are good for more than one thing.  working in conjunction with other organs and tissues, organs create organ-systems.  often, overlapping systems that, like, do stuff.  like this: 

now, a question.  what other organs do we deliberately treat like shit?  do we expose…

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38 Responses to “The Neo-Vagina Monologues”

  1. mieprowan Says:

    Indeed. It says a lot about what our culture thinks of women that so many happily accept the idea that one can create a vagina by cutring a hole in a person.

    • druidwinter Says:

      That is not the main part of a woman’s sexual system. The ovaries & uterus is; The vagina is a ‘drain’
      guys stick their peen in anything that resembles a hole, so the important part is protected from actual sex contact. The neo-vag is a drain that goes no where. It will turn inside out, like a flatworm because there is nothing holding it up, no blood supply or shedding of the lining. They probably have to turn it inside out to clean it and to prevent abscesses. Some has sold them that this is us? sad.

      • mieprowan Says:

        Hi druidwinter. Well, the vagina is also the birth canal, but I get what you’re saying. Faux “vaginas” involve cutting a hole in a man’s crotch, dissecting his penis, turning it inside out, and sticking it into the hole, where it is held in place by scar tissue and must be regularly dilated, because the body tries to heal open wounds, which this is. Also sometimes there are bowel complications. To insist that this is actually a vagina is deeply insulting to women, grotesque as all getout, and frankly delusional.

      • mieprowan Says:

        I got into it elsewhere yesterday with a woman who was insisting that plastic surgery etc. can make a man a woman, so it was nice to see this repost from Femonade here. It’s always the worst when women do it…anyway, I got to thinking, what if I showed up at a doctor’s office and insisted that I needed an extra vagina for my mental health, and insisted that I have a hole cut in my thigh or perhaps my left ass-cheek, and furthermore went around carrying on about how my health insurance should pay for it, and calling people bigots for disagreeing with me? I don’t think that would go over very well, but I don’t see how it would be all that different from arguments for male SRS.

  2. river Says:

    I have never seen any of this, certainly not read any criticism, but this arrived just on time. I’m waiting for the lids to pop on my jam. Diversion. The jam.

  3. mieprowan Says:

    I’d also like to note that FCM is one of the more interesting writers I’ve run into over the last fifty years, and that I can’t imagine her just stopping writing. That would be Wrong. If more comments that aren’t from assholes would help, I could likely assist. I realized when I first started y’all that I had some reading to do in order to catch up. I have been reading Ms. Dworkin, and loving her!

    So, FCM, if you see this, go where the spirits take you, I just wanted to note that I’ve read some of your writing that stuck in my head and changed the way I think about things, and that is indeed a great gift, and I thank you for it, and will be looking out for you, should you choose to return to the internets.

    • druidwinter Says:

      mieprowan. I see what you are saying, but when ovaries and the uterus is removed, leaving the vagina behind, women lose the sexual interest. The vaginal orgasm depends on the utern throbbing as well[which is more difficult to achieve], and that has the major blood supplies, nerve endings are and it has attachments to the hip bones preventing the colon from pressing on the bladder, [some women develop a slow leak after it gets removed.

      I like the statement on that show the office when Phyllis said she did not have an orgasm until 40, and it lasted until she was 42. 😀

      the vagina is a passage and a drain, like the urethra is a passage to the bladder.

      We are more complex than a hole, and as the ones that gestate humans, and carry the seeds of humanity, we should be a ‘protected class’, not a ‘slave class’.

      If all the women died tomorrow,humanity would die because men do not have the full set chromosomes to reproduce. XY makes them larger, but even their sex organs are limited. You have to be an egg producer, and possess XX. DNA from any woman/man can be inserted into an egg to produce a human, including the egg producer. However the DNA will remain 10% of the egg producer. The only 100% clones that can be produced are women that use their own egg. Men that clone themselves will have 10% of the female egg producer, because the Y mutation makes them incomplete to make exact copies. Men can only be produced in variations, but not reproduced as exact copies. Boba fet is impossibly laugh able, unless he is a woman with a full set of female organs.

      Men will never have the means to copy themselves. Even if they someday find a way to transplant full female organs into a male, the ovaries would not work in the new genetically different environment to produce eggs once cut from the original genetic doner. Adult lung transplants can not work in children, even of the same sex- the genetic diversity. Ovary transplants can help women that are older kick start their reproductive ability, because they have a lifetime of creating and maintaining the perfect environment and reproduction can be extended for a few extra years and the eggs produced will be genetically the but putting them in genetically different diverse men will destroy them, they need the the right chromosomal dna condition to thrive and artificial hormones are too harsh.

      Perhaps woman’s health studies will improve someday. 99% of all drugs & treatments, including breast cancer drugs, are developed for men.
      In the medical community there is growing concern, especially after the biggest breast cancer trials and study, DID NOT include one woman for development of the treatment. All drugs & treatments are only developed for male XY and women’s systems are different.

      When better health care for women is developed, and our ovarian health was studied, [instead of passed around with a focus on direct reproduction in youth,] we could still reproduce children in to our 80s and produce our own eggs.

      Humanity is too focused on male interests, so we have a ways to go as a species.

      The vagina is important as a birth canal, but it is hard to compare a female drain to the equivalent of the penis as the main reproductive organ. We carry a lot more responsibility. The penis doesnt have as many blood supplies[that is where new humans grow and develop] and nerve endings as the urethra. The penis has a little job in actual reproduction, which is the primary reason for sex.

      • druidwinter Says:

        ^Where I found the info about the gender inequality[meaning the actual female gender, not the ripped off ‘gender-identity’ to steal the definition of females and give it to selfish men] study about women being excluded from drug development in the mainstream medical community

      • GallusMag Says:

        Obviously druidwinter is not a Lesbian.
        The next comment that contains both the word “vagina” and “drain” will be deleted. Yuck.

      • mieprowan Says:

        Gallus: I felt uncomfortable with the “drain” simile too, thanks for addressing this.

      • mieprowan Says:

        Druidwinter: I am fond of a botanical analogy. Women are fruiting bodies. Men provide the pollen. This is an absolute.

      • Gene K. Says:

        I like the ovule/pollen analogy as well. That trans prof at UNH talked about the diversity of flowers…why can’t humans be like that…well, we ARE like that…ova/sperm…it’s not that difficult a concept, really…

      • mieprowan Says:

        Thank you, Gene. It is so difficult to deal with all this crazy. Women, bearers of eggs, which are essentially seeds…men, pollinators who have evolved to ensure genetic diversity..what’s wrong with that? It’s beautiful, really. No room for rape, though.

      • Tobysgirl Says:

        I hate to tell you this, but I had a complete hysterectomy when I was 42 years old and did not lose my sexual interest. My orgasms were as powerful as ever even though my cervix was also removed. I was undiagnosed/untreated hypothyroid and very prone to infection, including a massive pelvic infection. Perhaps a sexpert could explain this; the surgeon’s explanation was that all my nerves were still there.

        And before anyone gets indignant about my name, Toby is MY HORSE.

      • Tobysgirl Says:

        Thank you above for saying something about the drain; that was problematic, but it’s helpful that druidwinter explained about her Asperger’s.

        Also, the flower analogy is so apt. Look at the parts of flowers — they look quite familiar! Nature appreciates certain patterns and uses them over and over.

  4. Ave Says:

    This is a very twansphobik post! A ladystick is just as much a vagina as a vagina u twnsphobe!

  5. druidwinter Says:

    My apologies, I do think highly of all female parts of mine and how unique they are…, I did not realize it was offencive. I am socially awkward and the terms I sometimes choose trying to describe things may not be flattering without me realizing it. [That would be due to aspergers-seriously, I do have this]I am glad you told me-really, because I dont notice when some direct language is offencive unless someone tells me and I do not really want to offend anyone. . The pollen/seed ova/sperm analogy is good too- I will correct that that and make a point to avoid the offending term.

    • GallusMag Says:

      Thank you for responding to my criticism in a classy manner. Not a problem!

    • mieprowan Says:

      Druidwinter and I both kind of identify as being mildly autistic. We’re sorry if we come off as insensitive. Hugs,.

    • druidwinter Says:

      Nicky would be more familiar with female Aspergers. People with Kallmann’s & Klinefelter’s often have AS as well and they stick us in the same classes when we are younger. 🙂 It took me longer to communicate with others correctly, I still hit a bump or two, but we are persistent in correcting things when we make these errors and we are handy friends to have when putting together large sets of information or finding information. I am saposexual but perfer females to males.

      • GallusMag Says:

        1.) Nicky is a man. 100% male. He is a “transwoman” and fake intersex. Therefore he knows absolutely nothing about female Aspergers, or anything else female.

        2.) I am tired of this derail about Aspergers. Get back on topic. I now regret being so nice and am about to delete a bunch of comments here.

        3.) The fact that you do not know Nicky is a dude is extremely hard to believe. Extremely. Okay, gonna delete a bunch of boring and derailing shit now. Just stop now.

      • mieprowan Says:

        I think of my vagina as being a kind of river.

      • druidwinter Says:

        I said something wrong again. I did not mean to derail female oppression. 😦 I just meant we sometimes were put together in school.

  6. I didnt mean that! 😦 I am female had a child, she is 22 and normal. I did not mean to derail female oppression in any way. I was only talking about us having similar disabilities. I know people have hurt the female community and I never meant to do that. I am so sorry but under stand how hard trust has become in our community.

    • druidwinter Says:

      ^that is me 😦 I did it again, didnt I.

    • GallusMag Says:


      If FCM is reading this she is probably rolling over in her…. bark-a-lounger. And reaching for the chips while congratulating herself on her decision.

      LMAO>FCM this is for you:

      • mieprowan Says:

        Hi Gallus, what about we have a nice chat about the beauty of vaginas? I know mine is awesome. I love the smell of my vagina juices. So unique!

        And all the beautiful folds of the tissues….so complicated! What an honor to be part of this beautiful vagina!

      • GallusMag Says:

        @mieprowen- 😉

  7. Marti386 Says:

    “the neo-vagina monologues would consist of a transwoman sitting on stage, talking about how much she loves her new fuckhole, and how feminine it makes her feel. in other words, you would be stuck in a room with a bunch of slack-jawed transactivists and fun-fems for hours, which is torturous in itself. and it would be the most boring. monologue. ever.”

    I guess you’re NOT aware that trans women have ALREADY been a part of the Vagina Monologues for QUITE some time, huh?:

    And NONE of them talk about how much they “love their new fuckhole”. Once again trans women prove they are more resilient, more powerful, more amazing and more poetic than you ever give us credit for.

    God, your ignorance is STAGGERING.

    • GallusMag Says:

      WHICH ONLY GOES TO PROVE THAT YOU DID NOT BOTHER TO READ THE POST YOU ARE COMMENTING ON. Holy Shit. You male assholes are too much. “Your ignorance is staggering” says the man-laydee who somehow managed to skip over the entire conversation because hey, it’s only ACTUAL WOMEN talking there, ammirite? Jesus Christ. It’s just as I said yesterday. “Transwomen” are literally incapable of listening to or reading actual female voices and thoughts. What a sick bastard you are. Just go away sir. You are a disgusting idiot man.

      • Marti386 Says:

        “What a sick bastard you are. Just go away sir. You are a disgusting idiot man.”

        Hilarious stuff, coming from a woman who gets her handle from a lesbian thug who bit the ears off of people. And whose icon is an ear dangling from a chain. Who’s sick again?

    • GallusMag Says:

      By the way, our pal Colleen Francis performed in “The Vagina Monologues” at Evergreen State College. He performed the war-rape monologue.

      • Choco Says:

        That makes me sick to my stomach. I imagine “Colleen” found it so sexy to stand up in front of a group of people and talk about that. I’m sure it was too much trouble to have a woman from the Congo or Sarajevo or a Holocaust survivor to perform the piece.

        That’s the truly frightening thing, they see rape as an exclusive special club for “real ladies” and they want to join it too damnit. They can’t understand how rape is not just sexual violence done by a man towards a woman, it’s the whole foundation for women’s oppression under patriarchy.

        It’s absolutely disgusting thinking of these giggling men getting up on stage simpering and flipping their hair talking about their sparkly new vaginas. It’s not cute, it’s not progressive, it’s a mockery of womanhood.

    • Motherhood Says:

      Hark, a man cometh from yonder bower to call a woman ignorant. How’s it going for you in your little theater of the absurd? Air kiss, Queen’s wave–oh Martin.

      All those achievements men have made–a part in V-Monolugues wow he must have brought the house down. I know you guys have more talent in your dick tissue than all of womanhood. I am sure you are correct sir, they don’t talk about their fuck hole–that dried out blind pouch that no matter what you just can’t get any stretch on. Do they have different model fuck holes–did you get the Suzy Q or the Lana one? Anyway, so so sorry I missed his performance but yours is pretty good too–Oh the caps lock it makes you look like a man–And Trans”women” they are all men(but let’s pretend they are not because that gets you off) –imagine that–amazing men, poetic men, deluded men. Now I hope that I have not cut into something important you had to do, like jerk off or threaten suicide. Carry on solider.

  8. GM, could I have an honest, respectful conversation with you. I deeply regret my intrusion, but I don’t know how else to reach you. I’m sorry the young’uns are so ill behaved. People get a bug in their britches, and sadly stupid ensues. RadFems have a vitally important contribution to make, and we all need to listen.

    Nobody with the wit of a rutabaga argues a neo-vagina, is a vagina. Its the best medical science can muster, gross structure and function. I was in a bad car accident 3 weeks ago. Shattered my shoulder, now I have a steel “neo-shoulder”. I’ll be lucky with 50% mobility. Thank gawd no steel in the neo-vagina… now my head hurts… uuhhhhhh…

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