GenderTrender Appreciation Post
September 9, 2013
From Transgender M2T blogger Snowflake Especial:
Gendertrender appreciation post
I discovered gendertrender sometime last fall. At first the site kind of bummed me out. Over the course of a few weeks, I read every previous post, and most of the previous comments. (When I get interested in something, I really want to get to the bottom of it!)
I was still on a private trans* forum, but over those weeks I found myself a lot more interested in reading the new comments on gt than checking in at the ts forum, even though I’d been on that forum for six years! Ironically (or not), I found out about gt when one of the forum regulars was posted by gt in the aptly titled I’m a dumb prick. What sympathy I had for the person was tempered by my shock at their actual presence. How many times had I read them mansplaining to young trans* about dating men as an assimilated mtf, and how they were now stealth? Yeah, ok. Honey, no shade but I think you have a ways to go!
Anyway, after a while of reading gt, I got used to the putdowns and insults, and the underlying logic started to emerge. Of course women are pissed at trans these days! It’s our own fault for letting Autumn Sandeen, Joy Ladin, Coleen Francis, Red Durkin, Savana Garmond,Jennifer McCreath, Julie Blair, etc become our leaders/spokes[wo]men!
And I have to hand it to GallusMag, she has a cutting wit! Even hertantrums are amusing. But my favorite is definitely whenever she writes about men “putting on laaydee wigs” or being “laayddees”. My irl mtf friend and I have laughed at this joke so many times over the last few months, you’d think it would never make me laugh again. But here I am chuckling to myself as I type this!
But to be honest, the reason the laydee wig thing is funny to me is because of how true it also is. I’m not trying to judge anyone, except maybe for being completely out of touch with reality. But one of the most embarrassing conversations I ever had to have with my mom, was a year or two ago when she reminded me of a story about my brother and a mutual friend parading around in the friend’s mom’s underwear as teenagers. I told her “Mom, I hope you know I never wore your clothes when I was a kid!” Why would I even have to say that? Except that seemingly 80-90% of the mtf’s on the trans* forum were routinely telling stories about stealing their mother’s/sister’s clothes out of the hamper, and/or jerking off in them. Fuck.
Anyway was that Julie Birchill quip about “bedwetters in bad wigs” out of line? Yeah I guess. But actually, I’m not even sure! There are so many bedwetters in bad wigs who pontificate about trans issues, she was really just naming a social reality! (If you can stomach that video you’ll get a good hearty laugh at the part where Michelle says s/he had to transition because s/he “couldn’t very well keep hiding a bag of laayydee clothes under the bed.”)
The thing that really baffles me is when trans* people get all bent out of shape about gt. Because almost invariably, they start behaving in exactly the way Gallus and others have described so perfectly well, time and time again. That recent comment about “gutting a bitch” was really over the top! But on the other hand, kind of par for the course.
Needless to say, the more time I spent reading gt, the less tolerance I had for the misogynistic bullshit people were posting on the trans forum, and eventually the mod got sick of my pro-female/pro-feminist posts and I was “disappeared”. (As in, not banned, but hidden.)
I’m not sad about it though. There was an exchange in the gt comments a few months ago (between Adrian and some of the other regulars – I wish I could find it again) about their experiences trying to fit in to the male-dominated world of software development as a woman and a feminist. I felt like I got more out of that conversation, that actually applied to my life, than I had in the prior six years on the trans* support forum. So, time to move on!
Thanks Gallus! Please don’t ever stop! xo
This was posted in April but somehow I missed it. Thanks! I quite enjoyed it.
The conversation you mention is here, btw: https://gendertrender.wordpress.com/2012/12/31/top-trends-in-gender-2012/
The reason I was unaware of this post is that Snowflake Especial has surprisingly refrained from coming to my blog and demanding that women listen to him, or explain things to him. (Although I do think he dropped by just to say hello some time ago.) In that sense he reminds me of Kathrin, who reads here but seldom comments and is one of the nicest and sanest trans males I have ever “met” online. But what I really like about this guy is that he is reaching out to OTHER MEN and helping them to move forward from some of the more noxious invasive woman-hating MANifestations of the trans politic. He does this instead of bugging women. That takes laydee-balls.
Here is one of his posts that should be required reading for every tired old MRA calling themselves a transgender activist these days: