November 5, 2013
Draw your own conclusions. Posted on Reddit.
submitted 2 hours ago by GrannyAndP
Prelude of our story to understand details
I am a grandmother with full custody of my grandchild. I have raised the child since 3 months old. the child is now 5.5 years old in senior kindergarten . the child was born with an intersex birth condition known as micro-penis. the child since age 2 has identified as female. In October of 2011 I found myself facing homelessness, due to a slumlord landlord refusing to deal with bedbugs for 8 months. What with not knowing what we would face in entering our local YWCA shelter I made the choice to place the child in to temporary foster care with Family & Children’s Services.
After 2 months during which there was an incident of sexual touching by another child towards the child , I requested & was given care back with the child joining me at the shelter. I agreed to keep Family & Children’s Services in our lives on a voluntary agreement as I found my workers emotional support very helpful.
In March of 2012 we moved into a new home. the child continued to be making comments of being a girl, but I had kept thinking the child was just confused. (I have documented all of the childs comments). – Age 4 – Sept 4 2012 , 1st day of school – At school the teacher asked the child are you a boy or a girl , the child responded saying “I am a boy but i want to be a girl, so today I will be a girl”, as he tried to place his name star onto the girls side of the chalk board.
My worker was familiar with intersex issues as she had trained in the intersex clinic in Toronto & was completely supportive. An appointment was booked to go back to see the pediatric endocrinologist at London Health Scioence Center in December of 2012. Through this period up to September 2013, my social worker continued to be supportive in all of the occurances in our lives. I began to give the child options in clothing & toys. Girls clothing was only worn at home, but the child would race upstairs to change into it as soon as getting home from school. It became a daily struggle to get dressed in the mornings, with the child not wanting to wear boys clothes, begging to wear the girls clothes to school. the child began making comments of wanting his penis to disapeer. We were originally referred to Dr Kenneth Zucker, who in 2 phone conversations with me tried to convince me to take steps backwards with the child (to remove all girls toys & clothes). In discussing unsettling feelings of this with the endocrinologists nurse , she then got us a referral to Dr Joey Bonifacio in Toronto . the child chose a new name of Lianna.
In April of 2012- I spoke to the school principal , regarding switching the childto a different class so he could attend as Lianna , as I felt emotionally it was not in the childs best interest to lead a double life any more what with all the comments . Principal & social worker in a meeting stated it would be easier to do this in september . The Vice Principal , was vocal in his comments to me privately letting me know “I do not agree or approve of what you are doing to the child”.
Over the summer child reverted back to using original name with letter change
Aug 31 2013 I was informed by my social worker during meeting with new Principal , that I would be getting a new worker . She was introduced to me at my home by old worker & was given all details of our story , with old worker commenting on the support offered.
DETAILS OF HUMAN RIGHTS VIOLATIONS
Sept 16 – new worker called & left message saying she needed to speak with me as soon as possible. I called her back in afternoon & she stated she had received some information she needed to discuss with me & that she was coming right over. She first off led me to believe that the school had called her & that the child had made a few comments at school about being a boy, not wanting hairbows and not wanting a certain letter in her name. She then informed me that the child was to no longer wear any girls clothes, or boys clothes, that all clothing needed to be completely gender neutral & not flambouyant. She told me I needed to do this as soon as possible. After school I met with the principal, who informed me that she had not called the worker but that the worker had called her. I reminded her that my dealing with CAS was on a voluntary agreement not a protective order & that she should be reporting any incidences to myself prior to CAS. The principal admitted & apologized for this. That evening I spent 4 hours in a thrift shop attempting to find clothing that could be deemed as neutral. The worker did not speak to the childor to Dr Joey Bonifacio prior to putting down this order. I left a voicemail for the worker asking if CAS had extra funds for this neutral wardrobe she was ordering us to do .
Sept 17 – The worker called back & left voicemail stating “I got your message about shopping & the clothes & stuff. We don’t provide funding for that, so you will need to figure out a way to get that if you don’t have any gender neutral stuff. It’s really IMPERATIVE that YOU STOP DRESSING HIM”. Message cut off abruptly so she called & left 2nd message stating ” WE’RE asking that you please stop dressing the childin GIRLY CLOTHES RIGHT AWAY. ITS REALLY IMPORTANT . ITS REALLY URGENT THAT YOU STOP SENDING HIM TO SCHOOL LIKE THAT.”
Now although this is a voluntary agreement at this point I was in fear that this worker was trying to turn this into a protective order & would try to take the childout of my care. Through fear with her intimidation I felt obligated that I had to do this or risk losing my child. I kept these messages on my answering machine.
Sept 18- called human rights legal support center and they told me that since it appears cas is trying to turn this into a protective order it is not discrimination yet and they cant help ? spent time digging in schoolboard website. I found school board policy and lucky #1008 is re the human rights & right to gender identity and expression. I got cas supervisors name & , left voicemail questioning about policy #1008.
I had a meeting with principal again, basically went over all this with her. I reminded her of #1008 ,restated my support of the childand her gender fluidity. She stated she has to follow cas guidelines. She suggested meeting with CAS worker to which I declined stating that I will not meet with her again if at all until after speaking with CAS supervisor.
After the meeting I was standing in the outer office talking to 2 of the childs teachers asking about a coat the child had left at school the day before. the childs Teacher #1 said there was no coat left. Teacher #2 then said yes there was the coat hanging up. Teacher #1 then responded pointedly with “Oh yes thats the one with the PINK COLLAR” looking at the principal as she said this. the child was in the room when this transpired ! It was clear that she was reporting this for the principal to pass on to the CAS worker . I had not bought a new coat, child’s coat was reversible to navy blue, so I simply reversed it but the collar was still showing pink. I could not afford to go buy a full neutral wardrobe.
the child is now going back and forth between saying he is a boy to she is a girl. Singing in the tub in monotone voice “I’m a good girl~ I’m a good boy” over & over. I also left a voice mail for school board superintendant .
Sept 19- the child made a comment to 1 of my friends in a sad voice stating “I am a boy that likes to wear girls clothes and plain clothes.” Dr Joey Bonifacio called , after speaking with me he stated that he believes that the childhas been psychologically traumatized by all of this. I gave him the new workers phone number.
Sept 23 – In morning i found note in Child’s communication book from teacher requesting a set of gender neutral clothes. I kept this page from the communcation book. This morning after 1 week of being forced to wear this gender neutral clothing, the childfought me to get dressed as she did not want to wear these clothes. We were up at 7 am and did not arrive at school until 930 am. It should be noted that since school let out in June , not once have I had the clothing fight in the morning . This afternoon her extra set of girls clothes came home in the knap sack . Email Letter from gender therapist sent to myself and the cas worker.
Sept 24 – Brought letter into the school . Letter clearly states that the child is to choose whatever clothes the child wants. the child has chosen her fanciest flowery rainbow colored dress to wear to school.
Sept 25 – Spoke with Principal regarding the letter. She stated that this does not change anything as far as the school is concerned. She stated that “I don’t believe that anyone here at the school has done anything to psychologically traumatize child ”
Sept 26 – old worker decided to make an unannounced visit to my home. I was out, we had not had any meeting set up for this date. She left her card asking me to call her.
OCT 18 – There still has been no response from either the CAS supervisor , or the school board superintendant. I have now left a voice mail for old worker requesting she put together papers to release me for this voluntary agreement & send them by mail, that I would sign & return .
Oct 29 – I have had no response to any of this up to this date. Today received court summons .. Motion being presented to court on Nov 3 for CAS to put child in foster care , claiming i am mentally unfit / hypochondriac doing actions similar to munchjausen by proxy on child re gender clothes and medical issues .
Have made following calls ….
Lambda Legal office in your region and ask for the Legal Help Desk – National Headquarters 120 Wall Street, 19th Floor New York, NY 10005-3904 t 212-809-8585 f 212-809-0055
called and left message on sept 25 = no response
contacted ivan steele lawyer in toronto ..
referred to nicole nussbaum in london /cant take case/currently working duty council
contacted sherman lawyer in kitchener/ no cas cases accepted
called plflag , referred to The 519
Morgan Chase from The 519 sent list of lawyers …
Susan Ursel, LL.B. ….. CALL HER BACK RE HUMAN RIGHTS … Green & Chercover Toronto, ON (416) 969-3515 firstname.lastname@example.org http://www.greenchercover.ca/lp_13.html Susan refers to Martha McCarthy RE FAMILY LAW ASPECT
MARTHA MCCARTHY …. LGBT FAMILY LAW OR JOANNA RADBORD 416-862-6226 martha’s assistant = emily morris – SPOKE TO MARTHA .. WHAT WITH FULL CASE LOAD & TIME CONSTRAINTS SHE CAN NOT TAKE THIS ON , AND HAS NO OTHER REFERRAL .
Leah Neumann Clinical Social Work/Therapist , MSW , RSW , LCSW (226) 777-0951 12 John Street W. Waterloo, Ontario Canada N2L 1A7 (226) 777-0951
left voicemail for assessment
Website http://www.siobhanlaw.com/ Telephone: 1-888-262-6333 , 519-824-2586 Location: King Street West, 7th Floor, Kitchener, Ontario N2G 4W4 – LEFT VOICEMAIL
Allisa Scott (ALEESA = PRONUNCIATION) H.B.A., M.A., M.S.W., R.S.W. http://inclusive-cct.nfshost.com/Trans_Resources_2013.html 519-749-9505
Transgender Law Center’s Legal Information Helpline Danny Kirchoff, Helpline Manager, 415.865.0176 x306 Headquarters (mailing address) 1629 Telegraph Avenue, Suite 400 Oakland, CA 94612
San Francisco (TLC office opens in August, 2013) SF LGBT Center 1800 Market St. San Francisco, CA 94102
phone: 415.865.0176 LEFT MESSAGE
Have called 3 lawyers for KITCHENER WATERLOO area as well as 2 therapists … all of which are LGBT friendly … all of which have left voicemail …
no 1 seems to answer phones any more ???
HELP PLEASE … send email”