Fuck You, Kill You, Or Be You
February 9, 2014
submitted by k-transpost op exercise nut
I’m happy. My top and bottom are done. I’ve had FFS. I’ve had laser treatments. I got hair implants. I work out enough that I’m finally getting the slender, feminine body I’ve always wanted. I’m married. We have money and live comfortably. Life is finally great.
My husband is a dermatologist. His partner at his practice is older, in his late 50s. Last night, we went to his house for a Super Bowl party. He and his wife have a 23-year-old daughter who recently graduated from college. She’s working full time, but living at home.
I irrationally hate this girl. I mean, not in the way most women hate other women, like admiring her proportions, wishing they were mine, that kind of thing. It’s almost like, “I fucking hate you because you got the life I always wanted.” It’s not a pass/don’t pass thing. She got the life I always wanted. The princess bedroom. The prom dress.
Seeing her is such a trigger for me. Like I said, my physical transformation is done. I’m usually pretty happy. My life is great. But when I see this girl I get so angry, and it’s a mix of what I said above and these overwhelming desires just to have angry, passionate sex with her.
I love football, but I couldn’t even enjoy the game. When I got home, I cried in the shower for about half an hour.
Please tell me I’m not the only one.
Ah, yes. The “Do I want to fuck you, kill you or be you?” envyragecrush. Yeah, that’s a thing. Not even just a trans thing, though I think we’ve probably got some special self-loathing twists of our own that we can put on it.
The only cure I know of is getting drunk, listening to Bikini Kill at high volume and dancing around in your underwear.
[From Reddit.- GM]