Intentional meanness and the trans delusion
June 4, 2014
REPOSTED FROM Trans Blogger SnowflakeEspecial:
Someone on GT made a comment about Sarah Brown looking dirty and disheveled in the picture that was posted on GT, and someone else said “I enjoy cheap shots!”. If you don’t remember, Sarah Brown is the trans British politician famous for trying to coin the term “Bindel” for the mix of lube and smegma that comes out when a transwoman dilates (no, I’m not making this up).
In general I try to avoid making fun of people for how they look, because I certainly got teased a lot for how I looked until I stopped giving a fuck. But the GT comment was tapping into something very important actually, which I’ve also noticed myself – a lot of trans women have exceptionally messy hair, or otherwise “deficient” grooming. Full disclosure: I probably should include myself in this category!
Being raised male means you look at yourself in the mirror with your own eyes instead of someone else’s, because you’re never performing for someone else’s gaze. You’re free to just be whoever you want! This is the sense in which being a trans woman is the ultimate expression of masculinity: I can do whatever I want, and no one can stop me. It’s exactly the opposite of the experience of being socialized female, where every choice is made considering how it will be perceived by men.
Personally, I never even thought to consider what my hair looked like from the back until I was 24! True story! Like, I only ever see myself from the front, how could anyone else see me any other way? In contrast, I remember a female friend I had in 8th grade who walked around sucking her stomach in all the time because she was worried she was fat. That was a terrible consequence of being raised under patriarchy, and I didn’t understand it at the time. But it took me an additional ten plus years of living in the world to have anywhere near the same awareness of what I looked like to others.
When I write about trans delusion, it makes trans women upset. But a lot of trans women are clearly operating under some pretty serious delusions. There are a lot of trans women who whole-heartedly believe that wearing a dress makes them “100% the same as” a woman born female, no matter what the rest of their life is like. There are trans women who think that when they wear lipstick, it magically overrides every other cue they put out, such as thinking, speaking, and interacting with other people like a nice guy, rationalist beta, or a bro. There are even trans women who claim that people who say they don’t pass are “wrong”. (Like, wtf??)
Anyway, all this setup is just to give context for my own cheap shot. Ameliated, famous for running the incredibly ignorant askatranswoman blog, claiming she had periods, and claiming to be an EMT despite thinking women pee out of their vaginas, has a band. And of course, she’s the singer. She tags the music “lesbian” and “lesbian musician”. Oy fucking vey.
There’s nothing wrong with making music, and there’s especially nothing wrong with making bad music! In general, I prefer bad music! (Seriously, ask any of my friends.) I’ve made some very bad music during my life. But I’d like to think I had at least a modicum of self-awareness about what the music I was making sounded like. So, serious question – does Ameliated think that affecting a speech impediment makes her sound female? And moreover, with a voice like that, how in hell can she claim to ever pass?
And there’s your trans delusion. I’m sure it’s painful for her, but it’s no less painful for everyone she interacts with. Like redressalert said: it’s time to let yourself know what you know.
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