A Response to the Q Center Statement on New Narratives 2014

October 20, 2014

new narratives 2014

Excerpted from here: http://www.pdxqcenter.org/q-center-statement-to-our-community/

 

“I rarely talk about what my transition means to me personally, and that’s because the times I have, the trans people I’ve talked to have gotten very upset even though I’m only talking about myself. Not about anyone else.

I can’t view myself as having always been a woman. Not can I view myself as being female now that I’ve transitioned. This isn’t about internalized transphobia. This is about me being proud of and accepting my past and who I am.

Before I even knew I was going to transition, I always knew I was attracted to men. I was very closeted through my teenage years, but I knew. When I finally came out the first time to my friends as gay, I swore to myself I would never be ashamed of who I was again. To say that I’ve always been a woman, more than that that I’m a straight woman, feels too much like hiding who I was. I refuse to hide or be ashamed of my past.

Because so much of my life is the story of a young gay boy struggling with acceptance, my life only makes sense to me when viewed as being male. Even since transitioning, my life still only makes sense when people know that. I can’t talk about my journey to deciding to transition without that fact. Since the moment I was declared male before I was even born, my life has been shaped by that. For 25 years it was shaped by that. Nowadays people see me as a woman, but it’s still being shaped by that.

Beyond just that, accepting that I have a male body has helped me come to terms with so much. It has allowed me to accept the things that are impossible to change while focusing only on what can be. I don’t want to spend my life hating myself for having too wide shoulders, or big hands, or a large head. Those things are just signs that I’m male and that’s ok. I couldn’t reach this point of personal self acceptance and love when I was trying to view myself as just like other women. I don’t feel I ever would have been able to either.

Yet even though this viewpoint has given me soo much strength to live, I’m afraid to talk about it because I don’t know how someone in the trans or queer community is going to react. I don’t know if they’re one of the many people who have hated me online for viewing myself differently than they view themselves.

When there are trans people online who will insult and try to ostracize people like me for speaking about only how we view ourselves, I can understand how anger has guided them to where their views on other trans people are. I would never detransition, transition has brought me too much joy, but other trans people have told me to detransition because they don’t want someone who sees themself as male while still being a trans woman. I’ve been called a terf sock puppet, a house tranny, told to kill myself, and had trans people purposely trigger my dysphoria just for saying that I found personal acceptance and a way to hold both those thoughts at the same time.

So I thank the q center for allowing these women to speak. Cause honestly until i heard about this, I’d accepted that this wasn’t something that i could ever tell other trans people again.

I didn’t know about new narratives when it happened, but if I did I would have gone. This is the first time I’ve heard of other trans women who understand my point of view. Judging by a number of the conversations I’ve seen online about this the past couple days, I’m not alone either. And it feels good to know there’s people in my community who can understand the personal journey I’ve been through.”

Read the Q Center Statement and more responses by following the above link.

Read more about New Narratives here: http://newnarratives2014.wordpress.com/

new narratives 2014

34 Responses to “A Response to the Q Center Statement on New Narratives 2014”

  1. Jen Says:

    Dear GenderTrender:

    I’m reaching out because I’m working on casting a new pilot for MTV that will help parents come clean to their teenaged children about a secret they’ve been keeping.

    I’d love to find a story of an awesome, loving parent who also happens to be Trans, has fully come to terms with it, and wants to finally tell their teenaged (age 16-24) child(ren) who they really are.

    I wonder if you might be willing to do a posting or somehow reach out to your social network with this opportunity so that interested parents can reach out to me to discuss.

    The show is hosted by a respected investigative journalist who also learned of a long-held family secret. She (along with behind-the-scenes psychologists and therapists) will help the parents broach the subject with their teens and help everyone cope with and adjust to that new information.

    We of course understand that this is an incredibly sensitive subject with serious emotional ramifications and we are carefully vetting stories so that we can find ones where revealing the truth has a chance to actually bring these families closer together, we are NOT interested in bombshells that are destined to shatter a family.

    Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. I would be more than happy to chat and tell you a little more about what we’re going for so that you feel confident in potentially connecting me with people and stories in your network.

    Kind regards,
    jen

    • GallusMag Says:

      I bet someone on the duck dynasty would do it.

    • I Says:

      Seems legit.

      • VC Says:

        Does NOT seem legit. I checked out the website for The House That Casting Built, which appears to be an actual casting company, and they do list an associate named Jen. But that Jen has a last name – why didn’t the poster use it? There are a couple of new projects mentioned, but nothing about “loving” trans parents preparing to destroy their kids’ lives with the big reveal. If this project is real, why isn’t it on their roster?

        I think this is somebody trying to ‘out’ GM, using a prospective television series as bait. (Isn’t everybody just dying to be involved with a reality show?) I came to gendertrender because GM’s open letter to Janet Mock was linked on another website. No way that anyone who’s spent even a few minutes here would think this is the place to find cast members for the show as described. If this is real, “Jen” should give Kristin Beck or Fallon Fox a call.

      • K Says:

        I was joking, but that really does sound bad….

    • GallusMag Says:

      Okay guys! Here’s your chance for the fame you always knew you deserved as your laydee-self! And you get to torture your kids! Publicly!

      • Jen Says:

        Ha! Well I certainly hope it won’t be torture for the kids!! Might be shocking but hopefully not earth-shattering. I’m definitely hoping for a positive portrayal of transgender people – this is where I love reality tv bc it can normalize the “other” just by making it more visible. My brother-in-law is trans so I have a vested interest in supporting the trans community! This might not lead to fame and riches but I’d definitely love to hear from some of you who own your trans identity and are ready to tell your 16-24 yo kids that this is who you are.

        Thanks so much everyone!!!

      • AreUSayingWhatUThink Says:

        Jen, Jen, Jen. (Sad head shake). Have you not been reading this blog? What is the point in further “normalizing” untruths (biological sex is NOT mutable in humans, scientific FACT, trans don’t accept this, see creationism, gender style), as well as traumatizing young people by putting their family problems out in the public eye? How does the wife feel about it? Because the wives of these men I’ve seen all seem depressed, deflated, lost, and probably deep inside seething with anger but putting on a brave front (death do us part and all that).

        Jen, Jen, Jen.

      • Ashland Avenue Says:

        “…this is where I love reality tv bc it can normalize the “other” just by making it more visible.”

        Yeah, I’ll remember that next time I’m watching Real Housewives of New Jersey. I’ll be sure to reflect on all the social good it’s doing.

        Good grief, Gallus, I can’t imagine how many times a day you shake your head in disbelief over what comes over the wires to you. Me? I’m laughing my ass off over this. (And I hope you are too.)

    • gg Says:

      I have a great idea for a person for you to contact. Her name is Christine Benevuto! She wrote a wonderful book on this topic and I’m sure she could provide genuine insight for you on what happens to families in the scenario you describe.

      • GallusMag Says:

        Oh! She would be great. Very articulate, expressive and good on camera. She can be reached here: http://christinebenvenuto.wordpress.com/

      • Jen Says:

        Thank you gg, I’d love Christine’s info – I’ll check online for it but please feel free to send to me if you have it!

        I’m at jen[at]thehousethatcastingbuilt[dot]com

      • Ashland Avenue Says:

        Our own Dorothy here at GT would probably have a lot to say on this subject as well. Dorothy? Feeling like helping to normalize the other?

      • Dorothy Mantooth Says:

        Lol, Ashland Avenue, I’d LOVE to help “normalize the other!” I can lead Jen on an exciting journey through betrayal, pain, abandonment, deceit, egotism, and perversion, with an extra helping of “I know for a fact that none of what you other bitches have to say is important, so shut up and let the laydee do the talking.” We should all learn to accept and normalize men who treat their wives like unattractive idiots whose job is to service their psuedovages sexually and act as unpaid make-up and clothing consultants for the blossoming sixty-year-old butterflies who tricked them into marriages.

        Mr. Laydee was here with my MIL a month or so ago–she’d been watching our kids for the weekend, and he came along to return them (again, our rule is that our kids know NOTHING about his castration, and he is not permitted to discuss it or wear women’s clothing or anything of that nature around them, including using women’s restrooms. This is not only a great concession on our part, but more than his own kids allow him; he has had zero time around his own grandkids without their parents present, and even that supervised time is limited to a couple of hours. I don’t blame them). It amazed me yet again how he absolutely refuses to allow anyone else to speak; I don’t think my MIL was able to complete a single full sentence the whole evening. He talked over everyone, he expected all eyes on him, he kept diverting the conversation around to what HE wanted to talk about (anything we women might have to say is just silly and unimportant, of course). Exactly the way he always has. Sure, all women act like that. *rolls eyes*

        I bet OzarkMtn here would have even more to say.

        If “Jen” is a real person, she should be ashamed of herself, especially if this is an issue that affected her family. How does your brother-in-law’s spouse feel about this, Jen? Is that spouse as delighted as you seem to be? Happy to add a new “I love trannies” badge to their little “Look how cool and open-minded I am” vest? How will s/he feel in a year or so, do you think? How do your nieces and nephews feel, if they exist? Or do you just not give a damn, because the discarded spouses and relatives of these selfish monsters don’t matter compared to BIL’s special fee-fees and wishful thinking? Have you even stopped for one second to think how the wives and children of these bastards feel, especially when you blithely announce that they should feel GREAT about it and be happy and if they don’t that’s a bad thing, because they should completely subsume their own needs, desires, wishes, dreams, and lives to the childish pipe dreams (no pun intended) of self-centered idiots?

    • Ashland Avenue Says:

      “…we are NOT interested in bombshells that are destined to shatter a family.”

      Of course you’re not, dear. Of course you’re not.

      What’s that line that comics use? “I’ll do anything for a bit!”? Anything for ratings, I guess, kids and wives be damned.

    • Dorothy Mantooth Says:

      “We of course understand that this is an incredibly sensitive subject with serious emotional ramifications and we are carefully vetting stories so that we can find ones where revealing the truth has a chance to actually bring these families closer together, we are NOT interested in bombshells that are destined to shatter a family.”

      In other words, you don’t want REAL stories and you don’t want to present anything unbiased or that rings of truth. You want a Hallmark card you can use to trick the viewing public in order to suit your own agenda. Pay no attention to that man behind the flowery laydeecurtain!

      FFS.

      • Ashland Avenue Says:

        Dorothy, I knew you’d deliver! I hope you’re managing to cope and find some peace despite the crap you’re having to deal with. ❤

      • FabFro Says:

        First off, your comments [along with everyone else who corrected Jen] was totally spot on!

        Second, I know there is more than one Jen running around here; one seems to be using common sense and the other seems to be promoting doodz in dresses. But at times, I can’t tell them apart and don’t know which one is which, which makes it hard to respond to the right one. >_<

        Lol. hey, will the real feminist Jen please stand up.

    • PlusGood Says:

      Why are you reaching out to a transphobic hate site, that vilifies trans women for their body parts, as something that would help you accomplish this in any way?

      Gendertrender is ONLY interested in showing the “bombshell” aspect of transitioning.

      (As in, coming out as trans is a “cruelly unnatural and horrible thing”, that damns them to a life of ridicule and hatred.)

      ……

      Transwomen, on this site, are portrayed as nothing but perverse, mentally insane, dangerous people.

      It does for trans women, what gay propaganda films did for gay people in the 1950’s.

      (I.E. “They are dangerous and horrible for existing, and not to be trusted.”.)

      ……

      This is a transphobic hate site.

      How can you tell? Because to the people on this site, the word “Transphobic” does not even exist.

      …..

      Gendertrender furthers notions like:

      “Only people born with dicks can be abusive”.

      “Boys that want to be girls are perverts”

      “There is only birthsex. Gender is an illusion.”

      ….

      If this was your first stop, then as a trans person I BEG you not to do this series.

      You will do more harm to us, than good.

      • GallusMag Says:

        Feminist blog vilifies men for their body parts!!!!11
        Dear Christ I hope Jen is less stupid than you, bro.
        But whatev.

      • Ashland Avenue Says:

        Go away, PlusGood. You don’t know what you’re talking about, you obviously don’t get why we’re angry, and you’re boring. Now go wank off to your forced feminization porn.

  2. hearthrising Says:

    I think this organization had to allow New Narratives to meet, because otherwise they would be admitting that they were all about enforcing anti-feminist views, and that supporting trans people was incidental. This reaction to the Q position statement sums it up:

    “… the idea that a group of trans women should be banned from using spaces at the Q Center for their views about being transgender seems ridiculous to me. If it was a group of cis TERFs, I think there would be a good argument, but it wasn’t”

    • druidwinter Says:

      Basic male behavior, once the women are out of power, they choose who they consider will be the next lowest group to demonize and make the ‘bad ones’ to point at, and gay bash.

      They use the male fail safe of intimidating their opponents that disagree, and what is even more silly, they don’t see this as the thing that gives them away as a male rights group using male power tactics to kill any free thought.

      • kesher Says:

        Well, if it’s lady penis by virtue of saying so, then it’s also lady stalking and lady death threats.

  3. Bev Jo Says:

    All the talk of “body dysphoria,” but as many of us have said, all girls and women suffer from that because females are never good enough in patriarchy, and are never happy with their bodies. Those who don’t mind mutilation and have the money, have liposuction, breast, lip, cheek, butt, etc. implants, nose jobs, etc.

    But if a man says he has “dysphoria,” it means he is prioritized beyond the females he’s oppressing.

    And don’t the people oppressed by racism who also pay to torture themselves with surgery, altering hair texture with toxic chemicals, changing their color, etc. also have “body dysphoria?” Oppression in racist, sexist patriarchy means few women or people oppressed by how they look feel comfortable or natural in their bodies. Certainly the daily stress from the risk of being killed just for being an oppressed race means people want to be safer.

    But only the privileged, mostly Euro-descent men are taken seriously as having “body dysphoria,” when in reality, they are just fetishizing the women and Lesbians whose identities they want to steal or they are fetishizing disabled people for their own narcissism.

  4. Pam I Says:

    I was born in the wrong body, I should be five foot ten with a perfect BMI of 25. Naturally auburn hair would be cool too.

    • GallusMag Says:

      What say you Jen from MTV? Woman candidate with alternate height/BMI identity to be revealed? (Also hair!)

      • Jen Says:

        Haha. I say me too! I was meant to be 5’9″! I’m afraid the secrets do need to be a liiiiiittle more surprising and impactful to warrant a show…. really appreciate the kindness though. …and the funny conspiracy theory that I’m trying to “out” you somehow…

    • WordWoman Says:

      Hey, I have body dysphoria, too. My blood pressure’s kinda high, I have migraines sometimes, my feet ache, certain foods bother my stomach, and my “core” is weak, among other things. Must be born in the wrong body. Yep, I’m sure of it! I identify as a perfectly healthy person. Damn it, I deserve government help in getting massage daily, a private chef, a private exercise coach with special Pilates equipment like many of the wealthy. In fact, I identify as a wealthy, healthy person. The government wastes all this money anyway, just give me several million, or even a billion. No one should have to live like this.

  5. dee Says:

    You folk crack me up ..I had a MASSIVE online row with a DIDwiggy (dude -in -dodgy- wig) a few years ago over some other DIDwiggy passing himself off as a girly on a model show .he thought the newspaper – the row was in the comments section – shoulda kicked me off since I clearly was not liberal enough to be a ‘ proper G-n reader’…lol!

    And on a related note:

    Has the DSM listed ‘transphobia’ yet ? Or is the APA waiting for Big Pharma to come up with (prescription – only ?) anti-transphotropics to mandate – sorry, manage- the condition?
    😉


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