Former Transgender Teen patient of LACH’s Dr. Johanna Olson shares her thoughts

January 11, 2016


Georgia O'Keeffe - 'Ladder to the Moon'

Georgia O’Keeffe – ‘Ladder to the Moon’

The early data that has come out about regret shows that there is little to none,” rogue physician and “transgender youth” activist Dr. Johanna Olson has claimed. One of Dr. Olson’s former teen patients writes to GenderTrender about her own experiences and developing thoughts as she matures:

I wont go into full detail but lets just say in pure honesty that i wasnt raised in your typically family situation i once never knew what gay or trans or anything meant. Till i had a bi sexual roommate.

I felt different sure as a girl wasnt your typical girly girl. But id never imagined id end up to be trans one day influences definitly have a bit of an effect on teenagers. I am still currently in the process of really going back into the past and rediscovering the truth of what happened to me i do belive at one point i began to belive in many lies about myself that became who i am. Long story short as a teenager and even young adult i thought i knew it all like every young dumb teenager there wasnt anything anyone could tell me unless i agreed with what it was they were saying. I transitioned as in hormone therapy at age 18. Stayed on and off for quite some time. As i got older things about life became more clearer to me. I think around age 22-23 it was like i was a whole new person mentally as if we went back to the basics of pysch 101

no needed medical degree youll learn that human brains are not fully developed until about the age of 22-23. Hince why i really felt as if life was completly different. I started questioning many things why didnt i listen to my dad he was probably right blah blah blah. I actually went back and forth with my gender identity for a couple years. But not properly taking the time to really discover the truths about myself i still very well felt trans since it was such an ingrained lie and honestly i would also have to say that having gone through years of hormones name change etc i figured i was stuck with that decision and i couldnt go back.

Just recently after months of mental touture battling different thoughts about well i want to try being a girl again but what will my friends say the people i care about will they lash out on me. I had experinced losing friendships last time i tried detransitioning. But it led me to a very dark place where it was either have some confidence and try finding piece and just be real for once with my current friends and if they dont like it than i guess they never cared about me to begin with. Or who knows honestly it felt like life and death for me. I still currently live as luke most of my life and surroundings. But i live by my birth name and gender in other areas of my life.

I have had this topic on my mind so much recently because are we really treating these children right

are they even capable of making such decisions as a teenager or even young adult. All they know is whats in the media the trends going around all the major influence on these topics. But what will happen to some of them when there outside of there little box and they want to experince the world find a partner. Interact with coworkers or the public. I feel like gender identity is just part of life but we put way to much focus on that part of ourselves theres way more to life whether were a girl or boy. Some will realize when there older oh wow no one ever told me id face these kinds of issues in the world or this would be so uncomfortable or hard to do. I do belive some people are legitimatly trans sure but some its just become a trend or something cool that everyone seems to be doing. Were focused on all the kids who are trans and getting them care and not to thoughful about the 1-2 that arnt but are given the care. And honestly i think now with it being way to accessible with so much media like its something cool there will be higher rates of kids who will grow up and realize they were wrong. We wont know now when there teenagers because just remember teenagers are full of raging emotional hormones thinking they know everything about life. What happens when there mommies and daddies tell them its time to fly on your own. I dont know just things i think about.

[sic] Left as a comment on >this< post. Georgia O'Keeffe - 'Ladder to the Moon'

52 Responses to “Former Transgender Teen patient of LACH’s Dr. Johanna Olson shares her thoughts”

  1. stchauvinism Says:

    Reblogged this on Stop Trans Chauvinism.

  2. Maritza Cummings (Ritz) Says:

    I know that if I, after 13 years realized that I was not really trans, I can imagine all the peer pressure our young women are experiencing. It is important that they here our stories of detransitioning and have them realize that it is not all that its cought out to be for us all.

  3. “Were focused on all the kids who are trans and getting them care and not to thoughful about the 1-2 that arnt but are given the care.”

    God, if only it really was “1-2” occasional children who would otherwise have simply grown up gay/lesbian, instead of the terrifying reality.

    Wishing this person the best in their difficult journey. Very brave of them to be speaking out. Sending virtual hugs to you, courageous stranger, for what it’s worth.

    • katiesan Says:

      Yes, actually out of 10 kids/teens who identify as trans, it’s almost exactly the reverse of what the OP is saying. Out of 10 kids, it’s only 1-2 who continue to persist in their trans identification. That means you are mistreating 8-9 kids out of every 10 who at some point identify this way.

      That’s incredibly unethical and harmful. Making certain 80-90% of kids into require life-long medical care and quite possibly (in the case of F2T) significantly shortening their lives is horrifying. Even if we concede that 1-2% of trans-identifying kids grow to be trans-identifying adults and hormones and surgery is the ONLY way to ease their pain, even for less-than-a-lifetime, is it fair to treat the majority as if they’re the minority? Seems backwards to me.

    • Puzzled Says:

      I think that was meant to mean one-half. Even that’s a big understatement according to studies, which indicate more like 80% desistance. But it’s a lot closer than 1 to 2. 🙂

      • Sammi Says:

        I don’t read it as meaning one-half but instead to mean “a few” like 1 or 2 kids. It’s not as if the internet is full of stories from kids who were incorrectly dx as trans as children. would be easy to think you are one of only a few going thru this de-transitioning process. Now with the fad of trans kids seeming to be at a peak no doubt when the likely 80% of these kids grow up to not be trans after all we will start to see stories come out.

    • GallusMag Says:

      From Sexology Today:

      11 January 2016
      Do trans- kids stay trans- when they grow up?
      Following the closure of the CAMH Gender Identity Clinic for children, I have been receiving requests for what the science says. Do kids grow out of wanting to change sex, or does it continue when they are adults?

      In total, there have been three large scale follow-up studies and a handful of smaller ones. I have listed all of them below, together with their results. (In the table, “cis-” means non-transsexual.) Despite the differences in country, culture, decade, and follow-up length and method, all the studies have come to a remarkably similar conclusion: Only very few trans- kids still want to transition by the time they are adults. Instead, they generally turn out to be regular gay or lesbian folks. The exact number varies by study, but roughly 60–90% of trans- kids turn out no longer to be trans by adulthood.

      • Thank you for the link, I was unaware there were three large studies on this, I only knew of one previously. The number I’d seen before was 80%, which of course is a vague estimate of the reality…but whatever the number, it’s “the vast majority” that are presumably going to regret being transed as children.

        What scares me are those kids who won’t be able to afford to *ever* admit what happened to them was wrong, because to do so would flip their world upside-down. There will be a great need for de/re-transition support structures in the near future.

      • GallusMag Says:

        Agree. There is also the matter that data (not to mention common sense) seems to indicate that “social transitioning” in childhood can create persistence, and that puberty blockers and early medicalization certainly do. Spack etal have reported a near total elimination of desistance with the use of puberty blockers- previously unheard of. Of course, they consider this proof of their success. Interestingly, the Dutch researchers who pioneered the medicalization of gender in youth also forbid the “social transition” of children prior to medical intervention, due to concerns about creating persistence.

      • Makes sense. Chemical conditioning to reinforce gender conditioning is undoubtedly a more effective way to increase persistence of gender identity (although males will be offered a different presentation to their “female” sex role assignation than females).

        It is imperative that all aspects of humanity be controlled, and I can’t help but see this as an example of the attempt to manipulate human social role compliance in new and perverted ways.

        Thanks again for your perspective, which is always clarifying of life’s absurdities.

      • kesher Says:

        I wonder how much of that elimination of desistance is due to “trans” children being worshipped by their parents and trans cheerleaders. I also wonder how many are going to have serious problems as they reach adulthood and realize most people could not care less about their gender identity. It seems as though many of these kids are going to be grappling with the same issues as child celebrities, albeit on a smaller scale, away from the public eye.

      • Zemskull Says:

        Hi GallusMag: Relevant to youth, are you familiar with the “Big Sister/Little Sister” programs that transgender organizations, such as the Southern Comfort conference, are now using? An experienced MTT essentially mentors/grooms a man or boy who is new to transgenderism and/or unsure he or she is transgender.

        This is concerning on many levels, including the possible problem of predators signing up to be “Big Sisters.” In the college Greek system, a freshman pledge is assigned a Big Big Brother or Big Sister for two reasons: 1) To closely monitor and ensure that the pledge quickly knows what’s expected of him or her, and 2) To make the pledge feel quickly intertwined with the group so that he or she is reluctant to leave his or her perceived new “family” even when it shows it’s ugly colors. I can see potential for these same issues in vulnerable, gender-questioning youth who may feel their biological families don’t understand them. Even if the “Little Sister” begins to question whether transgenderism is for him, he may not want to leave the confines of his transgender “family,” especially if he’s gone on to adopt a “Little Sister” in turn.

      • Ashland Avenue Says:

        Wow, Zemskull, I like what you did there. Thank you for pointing out not just the physical dangers of such a program, but the psychological as well. Gosh, what could possibly go wrong with such a program? {eye roll}

  4. Margie Says:

    This is an area where there is such an obvious conflict between the interests of LGB youth and trans activists. A recent article in the Boston Globe illustrated this. It was a follow-up piece to a 2005 article on twin brothers, one gender typical and the other very gender atypical, who would tell people that he is a girl. A number of readers wrote to the author over the years to opine that the atypical boy was probably trans. So the author went back in 2015 to see how they turned out. The gender atypical boy is very much a boy. He is not transgender and does not identify as a girl. His gender atypical behaviors diminished rapidly and on their own, with only the mildest of encouragement from his mother. His behavior is still subtly different than that of his brother, but nothing like how it was 10 years ago. The article states: “More recent studies continue to suggest that most gender dysphoric kids will outgrow their gender-bending behavior — with the majority of the boys turning out to be gay or bisexual — and have no lingering gender identity confusion. A 2011 review of research published in the International Journal of Transgenderism found that, of children who exhibited gender dysphoria, it persisted into adulthood in only 6 to 23 percent of boys and 12 to 27 percent of girls.”

    So you have a population of gender dysphoric kids and a huge portion of them 77-94% of boys and 73-88% of girls will outgrow it and a for a minority, the dysphoria will persist, and of that minority, some portion will want to “transition.” But there’s no reliable method to determine which child will fall into which category. So obviously, the ethical thing to do would be to wait and allow the children to develop so that only the right people are put on the path to transitioning. Instead, the trans activists push early and broad use of chemicals, putting some 80-90% of the group at risk of permanent harm. Because they couldn’t care less about “cis” youth. The only thing that matters to them is that the minority that is trans enjoys a better cosmetic outcome from the transitioning process, which they believe is achieved if puberty blockers are pumped in early. And the scam of “LGBT” has guaranteed that our transjacked organizations take the side of trans activists, betraying LGB youth, and sweeping the conflict under the rug.

    • Now I think that perhaps, maybe the humane thing to do is, see if of that 6-23 percent of boys and 12-27 percent of girls, maybe you could decrease those percentages further, by better [talk] therapies or group therapy and/or family therapy, increased social acceptance of gender/sexist stereotype nonconformity, and members of religious organizations putting pressure on the organization to reverse antilesbian/gay strictures and prohibitions? I don’t accept that those percentages are somehow hard and fast aspects of the human condition, culturally invariant. My opinion.

  5. juniper Says:

    People need to keep speaking out so that gender questioning people can see those of us who were able to avoid “transition” and live well despite having past or present struggles with gender or body dysphoria … and those of us who were able to get out and turn our lives around before we succumbed to the outcomes of medical negligence, serious health decline brought on by dangerous hormones or failed surgeries … and those who survived and did not die by suicide because life became too difficult to deal with when they had tried to transition but realized that this was not the right answer for them.

    We, survivors have been invisible for too long and need to raise our voices to help others who are gender questioning and see no other option but to transition with hormones and surgeries.

  6. lovetruthcourage Says:

    I think the bottom line is this: male or female, it is difficult to be human and all humans have problems. Transition is not some magic ticket to a mythical world where all is well.

    Our kids have been sold a pack of lies, and it can lead them down a suicidal path, or to unnecessarily and permanently destroying the integrity of their bodies, and their fertility. That this can not only legally happen, but is actually encouraged by the establishment, is unthinkable and a crime. This is enabled by all those who try to be good, liberal Social Justice Warriors, but don’t understand the deeper implications and downside of trans ideology. SJWs get used for the trans agenda. LGBs get used to fund it and spread it.

    Thanks for lending your voice. The best antidote for the trans narrative is the counter-narrative, and personal stories illustrate it beautifully.

  7. katiesan Says:

    As a mother of a girl who is saying she’s trans, this is good to hear and also so, so discouraging. I am not in ANY way trying to silence my child or keep her from expressing herself the way she wants with clothing, hairstyle, jewelry, activities. But, frankly, it is illegal in the state in which we live for mental health professionals, physicians, and educators to do anything but affirm a child or teenager’s identification. Full stop. Not, “Maybe you need to do some other activities or focus on some other areas of development instead of constantly gazing at and thinking about YOURSELF.” Or, “We all recognize you feel this way right now. And, you may continue to feel this way in the future and after your brain matures. But, you are going to have to wait. No one is trying to harm you. You will not die.”

    I mean, seriously, I keep, against the odds, seeking care for my kid. Even when she is verbally abusive and sabotaging herself by failing school, we have never told her not to dress or decorate herself or pursue the activities she enjoys. Except, once she landed on identifying as trans, THAT became where she placed all her energy and attention. Only gazing at your own navel is not a healthy activity.

    Conversely, if ALL she wanted to do (and her only available outlet) was to wear the clothes she wanted and the hairstyle she wanted and to call herself trans and I knew that professionals and strangers who she can contact online weren’t going to encourage hormones and surgery, but were going to advise her that waiting was in her best interest, to make sure she didn’t make some irreversible mistakes? I could probably relax and exhale a little. And not continue to feel the need to plead my case. But, because the professionals won’t behave ethically and walk a middle path with parents who aren’t afraid to BE PARENTS and say no to extreme things, well, they set up a power struggle and undercut the very people who care most about these kids. It’s lonely and painful.

    • I hope you’ve discovered 4thwavenow, its full of parents just like you

      • katiesan Says:

        Yes, months ago. I had been searching for some sign that there was another side to all of this. I was just torn up and getting patted on the head by professionals telling me I was obviously a terrible person if I didn’t do whatever my kid wanted. 4thwavenow saved my sanity.

    • Reader Says:

      “Except, once she landed on identifying as trans, THAT became where she placed all her energy and attention. Only gazing at your own navel is not a healthy activity.”

      I can relate to her behaviour myself. I’m not a kid physically anymore but pretty much an infant when it comes to things like this. Just this Christmas I actually really noticed that other people are individual persons as I am and I’ve rarely been called selfish.

      I’ve also noticed that observing and concentrating on other people is good in treating my gender dysphoria, as I feel it can be induced by all kinds of misunderstandings and obsessiveness regarding gender, as well as by lack of examples.

    • Renee Says:

      @katiesan I have the exact same thing going on with my daughter. I refuse to back down from any doctor regarding this. I’ve known her for 18 years and I pay her bills. If they find the necessity to help her transition they can give her a place to stay and pay all her bills.

      This is a child that has been the epitome of female from childhood. She could show me a few tricks. She likes nothing male. She doesn’t even like girls – not sure off she likes anyone any more. Her version of male is walking like she got off a horse, not combing her hair and being rude at restaurants…. Nothing her brother or father do.

      If I’m paying you to help my daughter you need to understand that your job is to teach her how to wait, be kind, negotiate, work hard, build self esteem. What other psychological condition promotes surgery? When she is an adult and able to pay her way through life, she can make that mistake on her own. I am not going to help lead her to something I feel is more stressful and damaging.

      Ugh! By the way, she got her advice on how to convince her doctor from Tumblr and Reddit instead of speaking to her parents or counselor.

    • MaryMacha Says:

      Looks like they’re starting to eat their own.

    • ArtemisJade Says:

      The list of commenters, from the worlds of academia and medicine, that have added their names to the petition is rather shockingly long, given how dangerous this topic has proven to be to such folks. The commenters include Bailey, Lawrence, Fausto-Sterling.

      When the center closed, I didn’t see it as a 100% win for trans-activists because the center was shut in its entirety, providing no further transition services for anybody, with no promise to reopen with a new trans-friendly director. And why would the Center reopen the gender clinic if it means having self-appointed trans watchdogs trying to control your every move.

      • kesher Says:

        I could see “gender” services being phased out basically through attrition as all but the most unethical and greedy doctors see the writing on the wall: They cannot practice medicine with the trans cult breathing down their necks, and they, personally, are at risk of retaliation, including violent attacks, from disgruntled patients.

        It’s basically the opposite of what’s happened to abortion services in the United States. Doctors have shied away from providing these services due to stigma and fear of right-wing male violence. I could see doctors shying away from transitioning males due to fear of violence from their own patients.

      • GallusMag Says:

        Prominent autogynephiles in the transgender community (Lynn Conway, Andrea James, Kelley Winter, Joe Ruby Ryan, Julia Serano, Katrina Rose, Deidre McCloskey, Dallas Denny, etc.) started going after Zucker as part of the campaign against Michael Bailey’s book ‘Man Who Would Be Queen’. They used the same underhanded smear techniques and harassment. This went on for years until both CAMH and Zucker finally threatened to sue them for libel in 2009:

        It seems that closing the entire clinic eventually became the best solution for the agency once MPP Cheri DiNovo started going after CAMH’s government funding:

      • GallusMag Says:

        @Kesher- it certainly puts a halt to any objective research as well.

      • coelacanth Says:

        ArtemisJade wrote: “When the center closed, I didn’t see it as a 100% win for trans-activists because the center was shut in its entirety, providing no further transition services for anybody, with no promise to reopen with a new trans-friendly director. And why would the Center reopen the gender clinic if it means having self-appointed trans watchdogs trying to control your every move.”

        Actually the clinical director of CAMH said that the trans centre will be reopening, but that its direction is to be “determined”. All that has happened is that a government Ministry of Health funding envelope that went to the gender clinic has been put on hold while the clinic reorganizes as a trans centre. When it is ready, it will get back all the money. So trans stopped the clinic because they could not force it to do what they wanted; now they will be able to have total control over a publicly funded medical and social service facility to do anything they want with it. This has been a trans strategy for years where they take over an entire sector of health care and remake it as they chose with the funders clueless and terrified so they allow “communities” to decide how they spend their taxpayers’ money. It’s called community planning and empowerment.

        The CAMH as a whole will bend to anything the trans and their government enforcer DiNovo demand to avoid more bad publicity and end up losing all credibility and even more funding if they are seen as “right wing”. Since they are a huge multiservice psychiatric hospital that does a lot more than just trans stuff, this could be seen as a clever move that sacrifices one small clinic to PC tyranny so they can hang onto the rest. The point of the story is the political power of trans to bully and change society in Canada (and coming to a country near you next) by “transing” one small publicly funded section after another.

        “The reviewers found the clinic focused on intensive assessment and treatment, while current practice favours watchful waiting, and educating and supporting parents to accept a child’s gender expression… Clinic medical director Dr. Kwame McKenzie will wind down the clinic and engage with community and academic organizations, clients and families to determine its future directions.”

      • coelacanth Says:

        One last point, I predict the new CAMH Transgender Centre will open staffed entirely by trans. This has happened in Toronto before — at a community centre (the 519) and community health centre (Sherbourne Health Centre) that both changed from serving all people living near them to almost completely trans focused and staffed by trans and overseen by trans boards.

        The new Trans Centre at CAMH will specialize in all things trans: the drugs, surgeries, child transing plans, puberty blockers, packies, binders, breast implants, cosmetic surgery, dating services, etc. A complete one stop shopping centre for everything trans including claim to complete expertise and total control over public education, school programs to raise trans awareness, etc. on all things trans. No more outside comments by anyone ever. And all funded and blessed by the government and media. It is this colonizing of expertise via bully coup tactics that should be of note to other jurisdictions where this has not yet happened.

  8. transk8ers Says:

    This is Luke the former trans teen who was a patient of Jo Olson. I have to be 100% honest with everyone reading this. Its going to make me look stupid and i really do not care. First off Jo Olson and CHLA and trans care in general is benefical. I know for a fact Jo Olson is the most amazing human being i have ever meant part of whats made me say the things i said. Jo Olson was the only human in my life who seemed to understand me or even care about me and most the time it had nothing to even do with anything trans related. Shes been more of a mentor to me more of a therapist or pyschatrist or you can just say someone who went extremly out of there way to talk to a kid who was miserable and had quite a lot of baggage and issues. Recently an event took place in my life where a friend involved her into some of our personal drama which somewhat destroyed such a close realtionship between us i felt she really belived the things this person said about me. I felt rejected and hurt by her more so that i was extremly clingy to her and felt i lost the only person in my life left. Sure i may be a bit confused. Not confused because i am not trans but more so because being a trans person is such a difficult life. Everything seems so much harder. Part of my anger is honestly because i dont really want to detransition but what else do i have left in life. My transition is so stagnet and deatly frustrating i continually see all these kids with supportive parents kids getting hormones even surgery it pisses me off because i am really just envious of them all. I feel like its so unfair. I want to be a man i want my breast gone but it seems so impossible. I have gone to church sure you wonder about things when you grow up. But more of well there seems to be absolutly nothing left in this trans life of mine. I have yet to ever once in my life even have a boyfriend or girlfriend. My parents refuse to ever support me and never will. My church says gender isnt the issue but that thats not gods best for me. Where to i turn with so much hate and non acceptance when i cant even fucking take a shower because i have gone 3 years without cutting and i cant stand to see myself naked anymore that i am not sure i can shower without cutting. No one should actually ever regret transition we did it for a reason. If it didnt work out its because you changed your mind for other reasons you clearly felt that way at one point and all people are trying to do is support you. Even if you decide to detransition thats ok its not an easy road to stay trans. But remember the most important question ever asked in your transition if you could choose to be a man or woman at birth not even being trans. What would that answer derp down honestly be. I know derp down always in my heart whether i were to be a woman and get married and have children id always whod have still chosen to be a man at birth. Theres no easy way out for any of us. Thats why some have committed suicide i am sure these are some of the thoughts running through kids minds. And honestly before ever writting the original article what i was online doing before that was i was on a site called lost all hope the only site that gives you multiple suicide methods directions and dosent even redirect you to getting help i was actually looking into drop hanging myself. Instead i wrote a twisted article out of anger cuz i really wanted to get support from jo about feeling suicidal but didnt have the courage to tell her yet again i wanted to kill myself. And honestly it will be a miracle if i can go longer than 6 months without feeling like killing myself. I hope who ever moderates these post even though this isnt exactly a point thats on your side will be so kind to approve this comment and let the real truth be known. For even just the sake of my life at this momment. Lets just let each other do what it is we want to do with our lifes. Cuz its really no one elses buisness

    • GallusMag Says:

      “.. Jo Olson is the most amazing human being i have ever meant part of whats made me say the things i said. Jo Olson was the only human in my life who seemed to understand me or even care about me…”

      That doesn’t sound like a cult at all. /s

    • thisismenooneelse Says:

      Dear Luke:

      Now you did it. After lurking for Goddess knows how long I needed to register and post.

      Thank you for reaching out and clarifying. Please know that there are friends all over and people who care about you. They may not be immediately in front of you but I am sure there are people here who care about you.

      You have found yourself on a site that is very trans-critical so please understand that will be the perspectives, but that does not mean anyone wants you to be unhappy.

      Dr. Olson is one of only hundreds of thousands of doctors in this country. In fact, there are many more doctors than there are trans people. You are under no obligation to go back, bare your soul, or explain a reoccurance of suicidal ideation.

      But now that you have posted on this site, you are the business of anyone who wishes to respond.

      Churches are simply terrible places to “get well”. You cannot pray yourself out of pain. Your church fellows cannot pray themselves out of pain. If they claim they can, they are lying not only to others, but to themselves. Spirituality can lead to some very ego-driven thoughts.

      My perspective is transitioning can be another kind of spiritual path, steeped in ritual, that sacrifices one body that after it is “dead” will rise into a new one, one that will be clean and match all the fantasies in one’s head. But Luke, I do not think you can transition yourself out of pain any more than you can pray out of it. Those that claim you can are no better or smarter or truthful than those in the churches.

      Now I admit, one can find a lot of happiness in religion, in spirituality and from changing the view in one’s life. But Luke that change comes from within. Spiritual peace brings inner peace and acceptance of ones self. In fact, acceptance of ones self is central to Christ absolving one of their sins. It means, you can love yourself again. (Note: I am not some practicing Christian but I have enough Christians in my life to be able to throw out an interpretation.)

      That is the message. Loving yourself is the key. You are extremely beautiful just the way you are.

      The other thing religion brings is community. You are without community and you are lonely. The trans religion may offer community, it may not, but external body changes still will not heal inner pain.

      Peace Brother Sister.

    • Hot Flanks Says:

      Hi Luke. I just want to let you know that I hear so much of what you’re saying about the way you feel. I can relate to those feelings of knowing that if you could go back and be born again, that you would want to be born male. I used to very much feel the same way, and I eventually came to realize that this response was very socialized, even though at the time I thought that I had a “male brain” (I don’t believe in brain sex theory any longer, FWIW).
      I went through a transition of my own, including four years of social transition and one year of medical transition. Five years ago I stopped taking testosterone and started taking steps towards reconciling with myself outside of medical intervention and the trans* community. Through detransition I have come to realize that Female can hold all of the things that I am, and that I am not such an outlier of Female experience as I may once have thought. Neither are you. If you ever want to talk about things or learn a little about different ways to move through the world that might make you feel comfortable with yourself outside of transition, I’m here for you. You can find me at or email me at I’m not always the quickest to respond but I promise I’m out here for you, and that you’re not alone.

    • michelle Says:

      “derp down”?

      Ok, once I could attribute to a typo…but twice? At least you got the derp part right because that wall of text smacks of derpy derp derp…

      • GallusMag Says:

        LOL. Literally. Like I’m shaking from it. 😛

      • GenderDysphoriaCritical Says:

        It’s a hell of a drug.

        I’d also wager this person not only has severe gender dysphoria disorder but also some learning disabilities that have compounded what they are already emotionally suffering through.

        Patriarchal society has done a thorough job of continually destroying people through their insecurities, disabilities, sex, skin colour, etc. Think of a nice venn diagram of various overlapping oppressions: it’s a miracle that anybody can see through even a small part of the bullshit patriarchal systems they’ve spent their entire life being raised inside of.

        Patriarchy, the über cult, undercutting humanity everywhere.

  9. Dorothy Says:

    It seems to me, Luke, that you need to address your childhood baggage and issues with a psychiatrist that is not transgender orientated. You need to get to the bottom of what the real issues are. Please get some help.

    • GallusMag Says:

      It does appear that Luke has far bigger issues than “transgender”. Too bad that Olson doesn’t perform the standard mental health screening on her transgender youth clientele:

      “Our Center believes that the presence or absence of family support is critical in the evaluation of transgender youth, whereas intelligence testing, Child Behavioral Checklist, and other elements of psychodiagnostic testing aimed at identifying psychopathology are not.” -Dr. Johanna Olson

      • Zemskull Says:

        Hi Gallus: That’s stunning that children are apparently not being given intense psychological screenings before such intrusive procedures and medication regimes. Obese adults who wish to be fitted with the reversible lap-band are now required by most clinics and insurance companies to be closely screened for their mental health, motivations and expectations. Reducing an obese adult’s weight is nowhere near as intrusive and risky as sterilizing and altering the genitals and breasts of a child.

      • Zemskull Says:

        PS: I’ll add another reason it’s ironic that the medical industry is removing its gatekeeping for “gender reassignment” while raising the requirements for weight loss surgery. Weight loss surgery costs an insurance company much less money than genital and breast alteration surgeries, and requires less patient downtime. Plus, weight loss can potentially save the insurance company money if one follows theory that a non-obese patient is less likely to require medications for diabetes, cholesterol and other issues. Genital and breast alteration surgeries simply don’t have that positive medical potential.

  10. Desertplaces Says:

    I’m a little reticent to post this, as Luke is apparently actively reading and commenting and I only want to make a general point, but reading this gave a some possible insight as to why the trans narrative has gained so much purchase with teenagers.

    I was lucky enough to be raised in a family and community where being a lesbian was always an option for as long as I can remember. Many of my friends who were raised in more restrictive or homophobic environments discovered, by accident or active searching, that gay men and lesbians existed and had that “Ring of Keys” moment or moments that started them on their journey to coming out.

    But I can imagine that if a young, non-gender conforming LGB person was first introduced to the transgender narrative before having time to discover their sexuality in an accepting environment, it could be much easier pill to swallow that there has just been a simple biological mistake that explains all their confusing feelings and alienation. All the thoughts, feelings and desires they are told are “wrong” as one gender become perfectly normal and okay if they switch.

    This mindfuck goes double for someone raised as a Christian who believes homosexuality is a sin; if being gay is a sin, being gay is your fault. But if you really are the opposite gender of your genitals, that’s god’s fault, not yours. In a very powerful way, the trans narrative provides a lot of easy answers.

    I know this is all rather obvious and been said much more thoughtfully and eloquently by Gallus and the commenters here many times, but something in Luke’s posts made this hit home for me. I don’t think this is the place to offer personal advice, but I do hope she gets help from people who truly have her interests at heart, and I wish her good luck.

    • red Says:

      You’re wrong here: if you’re trans it’s your mother’s fault. Something hormones something tap something something faulty leaking surge.

      “But if you really are the opposite gender of your genitals, that’s god’s fault, not yours. In a very powerful way, the trans narrative provides a lot of easy answers.”

      I’m sorry but these suicide threateners-cum-hostage takers sound just like every other teenager ever.

  11. MaryMacha Says:

    Hey Luke,

    Here are some websites you might want to check out, when you get around to it.

  12. Sammi Says:

    Sounds like this girl has not seen the studies showing 60-90% of Trans children grow up NOT to be Trans.

    She says “Were focused on all the kids who are trans and getting them care and not to thoughful about the 1-2 that aren’t but are given the care.”

    Sadly the reality is the opposite in that we are focused on giving care to all the “trans” kids even though only a minority of of them are actually trans. The majority will grow up to not be trans and instead gay, lesbians, or bisexual.

  13. drycamp Says:

    I’ve been commenting here for a few weeks. It has been refreshing to encounter so much good sense on this difficult topic.

    Now, however, I learn that an 11 year old granddaughter living in the Netherlands has a close friend, presumably her age, who is “questioning their gender identity.” My daughter, the child’s mother, has declared that the child in question is welcome in her house under whatever pronoun, which is clearly the right thing to do.

    But I see that everyone in sight is supporting this child in the uncritical way that has now become correct. I find this thought distressing, though of course it is not my place to express any opinion.

    The environment in which this child is being raised is very friendly to gay and lesbian people, so I doubt that that dynamic is at work here. I have no idea of course what is really going on, but I can only hope that this child finds a way out not only of his/her adolescent struggles, but out of the trap which is being unwittingly laid by a community which accepts this business uncritically.

  14. red Says:

    After the controversial closing of (Toronto’s) world-famous gender identity clinic, and the dismissal of Dr. Ken Zucker, its internationally renowned director, the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health has acknowledged to The Globe and Mail that a damaging account of an alleged exchange between a patient and Dr. Zucker was false. (…)

    In the review, the patient, now a transgendered adult, was quoted anonymously suggesting that “Dr. Zucker had asked him to remove his shirt in front of other clinicians present, laughed when he complied, and then referred to him as a ‘hairy little vermin.”

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