Researcher: Transgender children allow non-traditional parents to perform stereotypical parenting roles

September 8, 2016

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“Universal Mother” [artist unknown]

The American Sociological Association invited University of California at Davis Sociology student Kristi Hilton Ryan to present the results of an unpublished paper concerning 36 subjects at their 2016 annual meeting.

Why such a high honor for a student study of a tiny number of subjects? Popularity of the topic: family dynamics of children being diagnosed as ‘transgender’.

Hilton Ryan is a heterosexual female whose only connection with members of the LGBT is one of academic curiosity. However, rather than being an objective observer, Hilton Ryan, who has never engaged with the century plus published female-authored analysis of gender (see: feminism; women’s liberation) has stated for the record that she believes “gender”- the ritualized socially mandated roles of male domination and female subordination- should be “celebrated”.

Single parents were excluded from Hilton Ryan’s study. The co-parents of the 36 subjects were “predominantly white, middle class, geographically diverse.” Most were parents of children between the ages of 5-9 who identify their children as transgender and whose children have already “socially transitioned”, meaning they have adopted opposite sex stereotypes (name changes, clothing) and either demand a right to compel bystanders to pretend that their children are the opposite sex and/or take steps to support their child in keeping their true sex a secret (changing schools, secrecy, etc.)

Although the study is unpublished, a press release and interviews outline some of Hilton Ryan’s findings:

The parents in her study were predominantly white, middle class, and residents of the United States.

The majority of parents self identify as liberals or progressives.

Parents of transgender children were more likely than the general population to be gay, lesbian or bisexual (19%).

Prior to diagnosis as transgender “Nearly all” parents believed their children were exhibiting pre-homosexual behaviors and would develop into gay adults.

Parents tried to force their children to stop gender nonconforming behaviors such as choosing non-stereotypical toys or clothes prior to diagnosing them as transgender.

Parents of transgender children diagnosed their male children earlier: between the ages of 3-5 for males and females between 9-14.

“All” male children in the study were diagnosed as transgender by their parents before the age of five and “most” before the age of three.

“Most” female children were identified by their parents as transgender after the onset of puberty.

Parents of female children were more immediate “instant adopters” of a transgender diagnosis.

No parents in the study used the descriptors “genderqueer” or “nonbinary” or “gender fluid” to describe their child.

Mothers “overwhelmingly” take the lead in diagnosing their children as transgender.

Mothers of transgender children take on the majority of parenting responsibilities.

The majority of heterosexual mothers of transgender children are more professionally qualified than their husbands.

51% of heterosexual mothers of transgender children have advanced education that vastly exceeds their husbands.

From Diana Tourjee’s Vice.com piece titled: “How the Mother’s of Transgender Children Are Changing The World” –

“According to Ryan’s study, mothers usually take on the majority of parenting responsibilities despite being more professionally qualified than their husbands. Fifty-one percent of heterosexual mothers in Ryan’s study have “a higher level of education than their partners, with discrepancies as wide as mothers holding professional or doctoral degrees while their husband’s hold associates degrees or less,” the study reads. Nonetheless, it was the mothers in Ryan’s study that gave up their jobs in order to raise the kids and “bear the brunt of the childcare labor, and by extension the brunt of the care related to their child’s gender diversity.” One working mother told Ryan she handled more than 90 percent of her trans child’s needs, even though the kid’s father is retired.”

Transgender mother blogger “Raising Jeremy” reflected on the exalted status of traditional motherhood that she experiences in her role as parent of a transgender child in her latest post addressing a new phenomenon: women falsely identifying themselves as parents of transgender children in order to join and participate in their private groups.

“I’ve been pondering what would motivate someone to pose as a parent of a transgender child”, she writes in  “Do You Want To Be Me?”:

“From the outside looking in, for the person who is not going through what we are going through, I guess we look inspirational.  I’ve realised it’s because we are.”

She continues:

“You accepted your child, and there are days that are hard and shitty and yet you still turn up.  You turn up because one of the miracles in your family needs you.  You turn up because your child’s smile is precious and seeing it is its own reward.  You turn up because their happiness is your breath.  You are the tireless voice even when you are so very tired.  You are a million conversations with strangers to demystify being transgender / gender diverse.  You are signatures on petitions  to have discriminatory laws overturned from bathroom bills to access to cross hormone treatment.  You are strong voices howling into the maelstrom of life that our children are valid, wonderful and miraculous, look them in the eye and keep trying to deny our truth.”

She concludes:

“We are thousands of stories of ordinary people on an extraordinary parenting journey.  What binds us is that we are testament to the power of love.”

 

Hilton Ryan’s finding that mothers of transgender children are using their children to express and perform exalted female gender stereotypes of caregiving and motherhood is not unique. “Transgender” has always been used as a foil for bystanders and an opportunity to anxiously perform overt ritualized behaviors of male domination and female subordination under the guise of being “progressive”.

Witness mainstream gay male culture’s sexism, embrace of masculinity, rejection of gender nonconforming males and financing of the transgender child movement. Witness the lesbian embrasure of a soccer mom “baby boom” and rejection of feminism and gender noncompliant women. Witness liberal men passionately “white knighting” to protect the safety and dignity of the “ladies” who are male- in stark contrast to any such engagement ever offered in defense of the precarious actual rights of actual females. Witness liberal women abdicating legal protections for women in favor of protecting the feelings of men.

Transgender is an opportunity for everyone to nostalgically embrace, perform, and enforce sex-based archetypes, shrilly, on the eve of their -hopefully inevitable- collapse.

 

 

Virgin-Mary-Assumption-0311Ma maaaa! 

 

 

48 Responses to “Researcher: Transgender children allow non-traditional parents to perform stereotypical parenting roles”

  1. Bob Doublin Says:

    “Witness mainstream gay male culture’s sexism, embrace of masculinity, rejection of gender nonconforming males and financing of the transgender child movement.”
    Great post. Some of the most threatening statements I have ever seen have come from other gay men I know on social media discussing how they are “real” men and don’t fit the stereotypes (I don’t either but I don’t make much of an issue about it.). Some reserve the most venom for the gay men who do fit them, instead of directing it at the power structure that makes us worry about it so much in the first place.

    Thanks for posting this, GallusMag.

    • Margie Says:

      This is a good post. Very thought provoking. I think I disagree with one point, however, and that would be (if I am reading it correctly) the linking of gender-conforming (GC) LGB people with pro-transgender attitudes. That is the opposite of my experience. In my dealings with many hundreds of LGB people over the years, the most fanatical supporters of transgenderism, trans activism and “LGBT” are gender non-conforming (GNC) LGBs. Examples would include the Lesbian Avengers, once an authentic, loud pro-woman, pro-lesbian group but now militantly pro-trans. And Lea Delaria. And the awful Rea Carey, who has turned a once-useful LGB organization in to an almost entirely transjacked group. The gender conforming LGBs are less likely to care about the transgender cause and are more likely to question why LGB identity is being hitched to a gender-related mental disorder. Of course, there are pro-trans GCs and anti-trans GNCs, but in my experience, if there is any correlation, LGB/GNC correlates more with pro-trans than LGB/GC. I think the reason might be that LGB/GNCs are bamboozled. Trans activists deliberately keep the definition of “transgender” ambiguous and, when it is time to lobby the LGB/GNCs for their support, the definition magically expands to include LGB/GNCs.

      One other reaction: the notion that 19% of parents of transgender kids are LGB is laughable. This is a qualitative study, and you cannot draw quantitative conclusions from a qualitative study. The reason the study drew a higher number of LGB parent respondents is likely b/c the study was advertised on “LGBT” outlets and this lumping together of LGB and T inevitably draws more LGB involvement into T-related research.

      • Rachel Says:

        In the UK, in the circles I’ve moved in at least, the biggest trans cheerleaders are straight or bi, in hetero relationships, but calling themselves “queer” or “nonbinary”.
        There’s a weird social factor in the groups I’m talking about too. All it took was one influential/manipulative transwoman to enter into a group with lots of GNC, open minded and “alternative” people in it, and suddenly lots of people were queer, more MTTs showed up, and the group (it was actually a sports team) became a total alphabet soup safe space cheerleading club.

  2. SkepticalMom Says:

    Apparently, these moms want to be special snowflakes — to enjoy the beautiful agony of suffering and the triumph of being ever the martyr. Sounds like Munchhausen by Proxy. I was beginning to think my MbP speculation was a bit harsh, but now…

    These are ordinary, standard, regular women who want to be stunning and brave, but Brucie Boy has taken that title away from them. Having a stunning and brave kid makes the moms feel like they are also stunning and brave by proxy, I guess.

    My daughter’s childhood isn’t about me-me-me. I don’t want to be in the Stunning and Brave Club with those martyr moms.

    I would give anything for my daughter to give up this trans nonsense. I believe she just doesn’t want to be a female in today’s porn-soaked patriarchy, and/or is bi or lesbian. She clings so tightly to trans instead, as she thinks it protects her from being female.

    I guess I’m just lucky that I have enough self confidence to be content with being a regular, ordinary woman. I wish my daughter could become a confident female. I guess it’s not so easy in today’s world, especially with moms like those. They’re like stage parents or those crazy sports parents who think their kid is the next Serena Williams. This is very sad. I feel for those kids.😦

    • Medi Says:

      SkepticalMom, wow that’s a hard one to have your daughter get caught up in the trans cult. I can’t imagine what it would be like with transmania when I was a butch girl in high school. But really, I’d say the world was horrifying brutal to girls like me growing up, adults were totally out of it.

      I hope she can read some of these stories online, and that she hasn’t done irreversible medical damage to herself. These horrifying liberal parents are a huge part of the problem in the media— Jazz Jennings, Chastity Bono to name a few. Right now, the lesbian community is under massive attack by the GBT, so it’s a true emergency. Maybe your daughter will wake up, because most of these kids become perfectly wonderful lesbians and gay men when they get out of the nightmare of school, and away from hetero families that are dangerous to gay and lesbian children to say the least. These days things seem a bit better, but even with parents who are accepting of lesbian daughters, it still is predicated on acceptance of het norms. There is no real substitute for powerful lesbian communities, we wanted revolution not assimilation.

    • Larichus Says:

      Holy cow, I was just getting ready to say almost exactly that (except probably not as well). So, I’ll just say this^, a thousand times this^

  3. Medi Says:

    It never ceases to amaze me how parents just can’t seem to let their 3-5 year old boys just be, or their 8-9 year old girls just be. I am so glad I am not a child in today’s world. They would have put this very determined butch lesbian into the trans machine in two seconds had I been a teen today. At least there was the rise of feminism in the late 60s and through the 70s during most of the time I was in school. I found reading about revolutionary movements worldwide inspiring. I recall being fascinated with Madam Mao’s opera, “The Red Detachment of Women,” where women wore army uniforms and did incredible dances with rifles.
    These were some of the very first powerful women who did not nauseate me with stereotypical women’s roles.

    But the gender police are not out in force. The media gives so much attention to parents and grandparents being so celebratory of their their little trans grandkids— I believe a congressman said this about a grandson or daughter— but what it really is all about is hatred of girls who refuse to go along with forced femininity, and boys who are content to play with dolls. Gay boys who don’t toe the masculinity party line are trashed even in gay male communities these days. They also hate on older gay men. Of course gay men hate lesbians and everything we stand for, but that’s another issue.

    Stage mothers emerge with every era, think of the drugging of Judy Garland as a girl, think of butch erasure in all media, including most lesbian media. So make the kids into trans, just like Iran does! Oh and get loads of adoring media attention for being SO BRAVE and liberal and trendy raising a kid to be trans. YUCK!

  4. Medi Says:

    Maybe women are more addicted to gender conformity and controlling their children. The very first gender police I dealt with growing up as a little butch lesbian girl were other girls and their stupid mothers.

    • IronBatMaiden Says:

      It’s even worse when other women perpetuate misogyny, isn’t it? This is what made me believe there was no such thing as a sisterhood among women. But upon discovering radical feminism and this blog, my hope is now restored.

      • idoandidont Says:

        It feels worse when women perpetuate misogyny, but we need to recognize the double-bind that patriarchy puts women and mothers in. Many mothers take the initiative to push gender norms and conformity on their daughters because they believe that this will protect their daughters once they reach “the real world.” That belief may be false, but it isn’t utterly wrong– gender non-conforming women and girls do attract negative attention and descrimination. Sometimes that attention is violent.

        Of course all women recieve negative attention, violence, and descrimination but patriarchal pressure has taught mothers that their collusion with the gender caste system is what has assured them as “good” a position as they achieved, however second-class it may still be compared to males.

        IMHO we need to combat this phenomenon while also forgiving our mothers and other women who collude–after all, we ALL collude the question is just one of degree.

        We nee to recognize that in abusive family systems the mother is in a double-bind that generally causes the children to hate her more than the actual source of the abuse, the violent father. (the gender system = nuclear family writ large)

      • IronBatMaiden Says:

        You’re right. I’ve forgiven my own mother for perpetuating misogyny. I myself used to do it and I’m still unlearning internalized misogyny. And you’re right.

        It’s just hard for me to forgive someone like Phyllis Shafley. She’s gone, but I remember she was quite the female misogynist.

      • NYCAlison Says:

        Well said, Medi and IronBatMaiden. And likewise, idoandidont, I can certainly appreciate your take. Unfortunately, I’m unable to forgive my mother for her behavior because it consisted of beating the shit out of me, attempting to murder me with weapons, and endless emotional/psychological abuse, all of it beginning from the age of 4 and continuing until I moved out right before turning 18. (After that, it continued over the phone until I cut her off in my early 30s.) My younger brother was treated in similar fashion; sometimes worse.

        My point here is not “women can be violent toooooooo” — I’ll leave that puerile idiocy to the MRA/trans forums — but rather that there is a point at which I have to draw the line for the sake of survival. We don’t have a relationship anymore and have not had one in nearly a decade. Because of this, I’ve been told I’m a rotten, mother/woman-hating daughter, but that’s no shock. We all know that surviving life in the P requires turning a blind eye to the abuse of women and girls or even blaming them for all of it.

  5. Anne Tondu Says:

    Great

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

  6. Franklin Says:

    The narcissism and self-absorption of that quote from the mother is amazing. As SkepticalMom says, it’s me-me-me. I don’t think it’s just nostalgic performance of traditional gender archetypes, it’s this sadly misguided attempt to plug into the heroic liberation narratives of civil rights, and use your kids bodies to do it.

  7. donesoverydone Says:

    Reblogged this on stop trans chauvinism.


  8. Yes, thank you so much. We really need to challenge the dominant narrative of parents bravely standing by their brave kids in finding their true identity.

    A lot of parents are bullied into going along with it beacsue suiced transphobia. But there are some who love the chance to show how queer and right on they are.

    SO glad I’m a big headed stubborn git.

  9. IronBatMaiden Says:

    This is some major narcissism on the mother’s part. On a slightly off-topic note, I’ve noticed that today’s modern parenting culture seems a bit misogynistic. Correct me if I’m wrong, but in my observation, I have seen the culture demand that women be slaves to their children. They’re almost not allowed to have an identity outside of mother, if they leave their kids with a babysitter, then they’re shitty moms, then there’s the breastfeeding vs formula wars. It’s awful. I see modern parenting culture as misogynistic and a pushback against allowing women to be something other than just mothers. Even those who have chosen to have children.

    Getting back to the original gendered topic, I was born in the early 90s and I had some tomboyish tendencies. I’m glad trans activism wasn’t where it is now back in the 90s-2000s. idk if I would’ve been transed, but girls who step outside of traditional sex roles are usually still corralled back into them. Whether it’s blatantly or subtly, women and girls are still expected to fall into a norm of femininity.

    • NYCAlison Says:

      You’re not wrong that parenting today seems more deeply gendered than when you were young, or especially when I was young. For at least a decade, the Attachment Parenting movement has been a hot topic in women’s media, and the name is all the more infuriating because they’re not really peddling super-involved parenting — just motherhood. In tandem, I’ve noticed that the hostility aimed at working women, by the media, the Attachment crowd, and U.S. citizens generally has grown from a dull, persistent roar to a flaming inferno. We are blamed for everything under the sun and then some, and god help you if you’re a working mother. Then, you’re simply Satan incarnate.

      • IronBatMaiden Says:

        Even childfree by choice women like myself aren’t free from it. If anything, we get demonized too. And sadly, some of the Facebook moms I see who are SAHMS shit on working women both mothers and childfree by choice.

        Some of them even go so far to say that childfree by choice women haven’t experienced “real womanhood” because we opt out of parenthood. They’re part of the reason I didn’t believe in a sisterhood among women. Conservative women were bad enough, but those Supposedly liberal Facebook moms piss me off!

    • NYCAlison Says:

      (This reply’s to IronBatMaiden, not to my own handle. It’s the only “Reply” link in this subthread.)

      We agree on much. Like you, I don’t have or want children, and I’ve seen both more vitriol aimed at women like us, and more intense/violent vitriol. Some of it comes from men, but a shocking percentage comes from women, many of them claiming that by dint of working a job, a working adult female’s oppressing them in some way. It makes no sense, but there you have it. The people who endorse this POV come from all over the political/social spectrum, too: conservatives, including conservative Xtians, die-hard blue/yellow-dog Dems, and even socialists and feminists of various types.

      Some feminists and schools of feminism advocate that we lay low and refuse to disagree with handmaidens. I don’t play that way. If a woman is actively working or agitating to deny us our freedoms, including the right to earn a living and the right to bodily integrity, I’m going to speak to it. We’re all raised and socialized under the same sorts of oppressive gender and gender-role “rules” and conditions, but that doesn’t excuse or condone woman-oppressing behavior in my eyes.

  10. punkworked Says:

    I wish such research would find its way to media and professionals. I find myself informing counsellors who are ignorant of tumblr et al, never heard of terms like pans gender and consider the trans issue before considering all other options. A day on the sites our kids visit would awaken their ‘shit’filter enough to call time on affirming mal adaptive behaviours. Adults supporting trans kids are reckless and preventing the real issues being addressed.

    • k.jane Says:

      I agree; the therapists who think that transgendering their patients is the answer should look at the environment on tumblr. It’s really no coincidence that many impressionable teenagers decide that they’re trans after speeding a weekend watching youtube videos about it. It’s really irresponsible of the therapists. There have been numerous people who have detransitioned who have stated that their therapist decided that transition would magically fix everything; let’s just ignore your bipolar disorder and childhood abuse.

      As for younger children, the transgender thing is just the “queerfying” of conservative sex-stereotypes. It’s just putting a liberal spin on the same shit that has always oppressed women.

  11. lululemming Says:

    Isn’t it interesting how different the ages/life stages are of the boys vs the girls? I can’t believe that parents could jump to “my son is a girl” when he’s three – my son is around that age and is in love with tea sets, doll houses, flowers, tractors, footballs and cars.

    Kids are just open to everything when they’re that age because they haven’t absorbed gender roles yet, and (until recently) most parents would shrug it off as “s/he doesn’t know they’re not ” supposed” to play with that yet”. These parents are ruining a beautiful innocence.

    It might be seen as a bit weird to buy your son a doll or a tutu, but it’s somehow become less odd to decide your son is your daughter and start brainwashing him into thinking he will need hormone therapy and surgery to live a normal life as an adult.

    The pubescent girls getting transed breaks my heart so badly, because about a decade ago I convinced myself I was trans. I was a molestation survivor who (to my parents shame) refused to give up being a tomboy just because puberty reared its ugly head and also saw it as a get out clause from all the sexual harassment I was getting from middle aged men and boys at school. Luckily I discovered radical feminism. These poor kids have probably been allowed to be tomboys for years because their parents thought they’d snap out of it when puberty happened and now they’re basically being told “be a feminine girl or bind your breasts and be a boy’.

    Sorry for the rant Gallus, I’m a big fan.

    • LC Says:

      I thought that was very interesting myself, and wanted to know why the researchers weren’t asking more questions about it. Seems from knowing what I do about gender socialization, gender-nonconforming young girls are more tolerated than boys, but girls are expected to ‘genderize’ by the time they hit puberty. That, or the girls have an aversion to being sexualized at the onset of puberty. If transgenderism was really innate, wouldn’t we expect to see the age ranges identical for males and females?

      So sorry that happened to you… society really seems to take for granted that girls want to sexualized and that we’re all just helpless to stop boys from objectifying them.

      • Akuba Says:

        I think gender non-conforming girls are more tolerated because all things masculine are more highly valued than all things feminine. Girls can act more ‘boyish’ and get away with it, because those behaviors are seen by society as more desirable. It is only when they get older, and don’t perform their sex-bot availability role properly that they get hammered.

      • LC Says:

        Absolutely, Akuba. I heard of that same phenomenon in very conservative places like India- girls were permitted(not boys) to be gender-nonconforming when young, and dress like boys for a while, but were expected to conform once they hit puberty.

  12. Too young to feel this old Says:

    The words of the Raising Jeremy blogger are offensive as fuck to anyone who has raised a severely disabled child. She thinks she has strength? She doesn’t even know what that word means… Yet I don’t see women clamouring to claim to raise disabled kids. Because guess what, talking about organ damage from scoliosis, or describing skin breakdown due to contractures, or discussing still changing your adult child’s poop filled diaper day-in-day-out after 40 years, isn’t as cool and glamorous as having a trans kid… But no, she’s someone living through true hardship (whilst potentially/intentionally inflicting harm her daughter), and she knows how amazingly inspirational she is to us all!

    Parents of disabled kids agonise over every single medical decision: will this new pair of orthotic shoes cause more harm to their feet? Will the injections in their spinal nerves cause more harm than good? Is the advice from dietetics actually going to make them more unhealthy like the last advice did? And should I allow them to use general anaesthetic to examine their teeth when that could cause more brain damage, or should I risk dental cavities?

    Do parents of trans kids ever question if what they are doing is causing their child harm in the long run? Do they even stop to question medical professionals? Do they weigh up pros/cons day after day after day of every choice related to their child’s transition? Do they even question their own actions?

    Or are they too busy thinking only of going on Oprah and milking the attention for all it’s worth?

    The blogger Raising Jeremy really needs to grow the fuck up out of her narcissism/Munchausen’s-by-proxy and learn what hardship and strength actually are.

    • rheapdx1 Says:

      Most of those parents, when one reads the plethora of media on their [SIC] ‘courageous efforts on behalf of their trans child’ do not get it . Nor will they ever. This is the instant fame/become what is in fashion society. And the only time the reality of the damage will be apparent, is when the illness bill of lading comes down. When the child is of age to function like an adult…but cannot.

      Then the parent will have an epiphany, join the class action suits…and try to ‘make things right’. By then….it will be too late to rectify.

    • thisismeandonlyme Says:

      Thank you. I almost “went there” myself, but you said it for me. As a parent of son with a different syndrome, I have never ever heard anyone couch themselves in this self-congratulatory manner. Maybe I was not hanging out on blogs enough.

      Frankly, what binds us is our need to find information and work through all the health scenarios and situations that come up and what treatments work and which don’t, either those that are conventional or those that aren’t, and eventually how the heck we are going to help our offspring get through their lives because we won’t be here forever. None of us are heroes or heroines. None of us asked for this. We either sink or swim or inhabit a space somewhere between the two with some triumphs and even more setbacks. Some of us have more energy to put toward this, some less, some have more time and money, some less. Some have offspring with bigger health challenges and more co-morbid syndromes, some less. The smaller the health challenge the presence of co-morbidity the luckier we are, and it is luck. There but for the grace of goddess.

      A million conversations and petitions? About what?

      Is your child is disabled which inhibits normal function and the ADA does not recognize the disability?

      Does your child have a birth defect? How is it diagnosed? What treatments have you tried?

      If your child has suicidal ideation maybe there is a conversation about mental illness. What are the opinions of suicidologists? Psychiatrists? Geneticists. Neurologists.

      But so far, there has been a lot of noise, some of it downright illogical coupled with emotional outburst and an a appalling dose of sexism, somewhere in between “this is normal” and “this needs medical intervention” and while we all need to advocate for our kids, I don’t know of any subset of these communities where the constant demand is shut up and listen, except the salespeople (selling fringe treatments or religion).

  13. Kalmia Says:

    This particular article is so insane I wasn’t sure where else to post it:

    https://thinkprogress.org/adf-minnesota-transgender-lawsuit-ac083770af3a#.7el60v7j5

    Thank you for this oasis of reality.


    • reddit/gendercritical may be a good place to post it, also.

      • NYCAlison Says:

        Seconded the Reddit GenderCritical suggestion — it’s a great resource for this kind of news.

        Yeah, that article is repulsive. The mockery of the six girls who want to be left alone to change. The insistence that they acquiesce to the male student’s little games, or stare at his ass in girl’s underwear when he demands it, or accept him standing on top of them when they’re trying to get their uniforms on. Absolutely, totally repulsive, one thousand percent. How dare the author insist this is transphobia, when it’s clear to anyone with a brain that the six “bigots” — or as we call them in the rational world, six teenaged female students who wish to change in peace and with the privacy to which they are entitled — are resisting the efforts of a male student who takes great pride in crossing others’ personal boundaries, and who believes his right to be admired and paid excessive attention trumps the rights of six female youths to change and prepare for athletic pursuits in safety.

    • gchild Says:

      It is absolutely perverse how the author takes for granted that dancing in sexually explicit ways half naked is appropriately “acting like a girl”.

      To suggest that student X is simply “acting like a girl” by twerking is to once again suggest that females, even female children, are innately prone to shaking tits and ass because dancing like a stripper is an innate “girl” behavior.

      Anything which trans girls/women can imitate, fabricate, or “act out” is the very definition of “girl”. Actual girls (females) either don’t exist or are simply living dolls to play dress up or get naked with in locker rooms, shower rooms, bathrooms, etc.

      It’s all really perverse, but since males call the shots and make the rules about gender, they do so to the tune of their own desires.

      The scorn the author directs at these girls isn’t just because they are bothered by the lewd acts of a male, or because they are transphobic bigots.

      Their crime is that they refused to “play” gender with student X. Not playing gender for males is a crime for which females must pay…with their dignity, their bodies, or their lives.

      • thisismeandonlyme Says:

        Apparently his view of “acting like a girl” is something he saw on a music video. I certainly do not remember sexy dancing nor anyone asking about my bra size in the locker room. However, there was a lot of nudity changing in and out of swim class. I was very uncomfortable with it and changed behind curtains, many other girls were very comfortable with it and frankly I was envious of their openness. I got over that in college where we all were nude in front of each other and had no problems with it (even our very Evangelical suite mate got over it) but there is no way I would be nude in front of a male bodied person and I cannot imagine anybody else being OK with a nude male body, or even a male body in underwear, pole dancing and shaking his butt. WE didn’t do that. That is simply not normal behavior. That is exhibitionist, aggressive male sexual behavior or female behavior sexualized (like in a music video or a strip club, not a friken locker room.)

        This craven misogynist is used to men dancing in front of him. Fine, he can take the student under his wing and teach him the ropes of male pole dancing as well as an audience that appreciates exhibitionists. Our daughters don’t deserve to be the forced audience.

      • thisismeandonlyme Says:

        I’ll add one more thing while I am in rant mode…notice the picture attached to that article? The Seton Hall women’s basketball team. That is a college. Why not a picture of high school girls who are a good 3-5 years younger?

        Notice what they aren’t doing? Pole Dancing.

        Notice what they are wearing? Their clothes. All of them.

    • LC Says:

      Zack Ford is an asshole. At least not all of the commentators are buying his smear job.

    • OldPolarBear Says:

      That article actually made me feel a little queasy. It took me back about 50 years, and not in a good way. I have very little idea what went on in the girls’ locker rooms of my youth, because I was a boy and we didn’t go into girl’s locker rooms, but I do know that the described behavior of that “transgirl” sounds very much like what certain BOYS would do in the BOYS locker room. They would target other boys whom they perceived as weak or sissified or as somehow else not fitting in. It was bullying then and it is bullying now in that Minnesota high school.


  14. […] I feel it deeply and, to be honest, I have probably always hated being part of it in some way. I fit the profile mentioned in the GenderTrender post for a ‘supportive’ parent of a trans kid. White, female, PhD. Tick, tick, tick. Potentially, I suppose, having a gender diverse child could […]


  15. @ Gallus, “However, rather than being an objective observer, Hilton Ryan, who has never engaged with the century plus published female-authored analysis of gender (see: feminism; women’s liberation) has stated for the record that she believes “gender”- the ritualized socially mandated roles of male domination and female subordination- should be “celebrated”.”

    True, and well said…

    UC Davis is not known for its humanities and sociology. It’s primarily science focused, and the millions of dollars of research money go to plant science, environmental sciences, genetics, and agriculture. The humanities and sociology are relegated to the older buildings on campus. Millions of dollars do go into the University of California system, but not into sociology, especially at Davis. I can see why a Ph.D. candidate in sociology at UC Davis would pick a trendy political cause du jour to study, and conduct her research in ways that do not easily offend others in her department. She is concerned about her future, and many students have huge student loans to repay. They aren’t about to do anything truly original and courageous.

    I’m a UC Davis alumna, and I’m rather disappointed in Ms. Hilton Ryan’s work. I wish her success in life and in her career, but I’m not impressed with this particular study. A Ph.D. sociology candidate talked to 36 families, mostly the mothers because she acknowledges that mothers usually spend more time with children. As if we didn’t already know mothers are usually stuck with child care. She states that most identify as being liberal or progressive. Since when does identifying as liberal or progressive erase all sins? From history, we know that caring and progressive parents approved of lobotomies for their disabled children. It was the mothers who bound the feet of Chinese girls because they believed it improved their marriage prospects, and it was women who traditionally did the actual cutting in female genital mutilation. Mothers want their children to fit into society and be accepted, but it doesn’t mean that what society judges as being proper is right. Being a mother, and identifying as progressive as it’s defined by society means doesn’t mean something is automatically right or morally just. In Iran, far from being progressive, parents approve of sex reassignment surgery for their adult children because being gay or lesbian is not an option. Homosexuals are executed in Iran.

    As to liberal leaning people in general, Ryan isn’t aware that there are liberal to moderate people on the political spectrum who are deeply concerned at the alarming rate in the “transitioning” of children. They also have a different view of gender. Ryan isn’t aware that these people exist, or she deliberately ignores them. Ryan assumes that everyone has the same view of gender and gender identity, and the transitioning of children, both socially and medically, is never problematic. She is wrong. What happens to liberals when they dare to speak openly about gender in ways that don’t align with the transgender narrative? Robert Jensen has experienced it firsthand, and knows that people are afraid to speak, and this includes people in academia. If people think what happened to Jensen is bad, it’s nothing compared to the abusive bullying tactics used against women. Perhaps liberals are simply too afraid to speak, and the only liberals that are counted are the ones who toe the politically correct line.

    http://www.feministcurrent.com/2016/06/27/ideology-transgender-movement-open-debate/

    Because queer theory and the transgender narrative have so colonized the women’s history department, much of the humanities including sociology, debate and research is viewed through the prism of culturally constructed words that are lauded as if they carry some kind of special magical power. By tossing out “gender” and “cis”, we can all feel good about ourselves, and bask in our “progressive” glow. Dissent will not be tolerated.

    To me, it’s rather sad because as a sociologist she isn’t aware that she is simply parroting a particular set of political beliefs that she has learned, and she assumes what she has been immersed in is true. She assumes that everything that she learns in academia is true and correct, and that it will withstand the scrutiny of historians. In essence, she can’t see that she not an impartial observer. Not all people agree on gender or gender identity. I am a gender abolitionist. I do not have a gender, and I believe that most women do not see themselves as having a gender. I’m female, and everything else is culturally driven. To gender abolitionists, there is nothing in gender to celebrate. Gender is not a “binary”. It’s a hierarchy, and in the real world it’s usually males on top of this hierarchy.

    In my opinion, the two most important feminist books of the last half century are Professor Gail Dines “Pornland – How Pornography has hijacked our sexuality”, and Professor Sheila Jeffrey’s “Gender Hurts”.

    “Radical feminist theorists do not seek to make gender a bit more flexible, but to eliminate it. They are gender abolitionists, and understand gender to provide the framework and rationale for male dominance. In the radical feminist approach, masculinity is the behavior of the male ruling class and femininity is the behavior of the subordinate class of women. Thus gender can have no place in the egalitarian future that feminism aims to create.”

    ― Sheila Jeffreys, Gender Hurts: A Feminist Analysis of the Politics of Transgenderism

    “..Transgenderism cannot exist without a notion of essential ‘gender’. Feminist critics argue that the concept of ‘gender identity’ is founded upon stereotypes of gender, and, in international law, gender stereotypes are recognized as being in contradiction to the interests of women …

    “The term ‘gender’ itself is problematic”. It was first used in a sense that was not simply about grammar by sexologists – the scientists of sex such as John Money in the 1950s and 1960s – who were involved in normalizing intersex infants. They used the term to mean the behavioral characteristics they considered most appropriate for persons of one or other biological sex. They applied the concept of gender when deciding upon the sex category into which those infants who did not have clear physical indications of one biological sex or another should be placed (Hausman, 1995 ). Their purpose was not progressive. These were conservative men who believed that there should be clear differences between the sexes and sought to create distinct sex categories through their projects of social engineering. Unfortunately, the term was adopted by some feminist theorists in the 1970s, and by the late 1970s was commonly used in academic feminism to indicate the difference between biological sex and those characteristics that derived from politics and not biology, which they called ‘gender’ (Haig, 2004 ).

    Before the term ‘gender’ was adopted, the term more usually used to describe these socially constructed characteristics was ‘sex roles’. The word ‘role’ connotes a social construction and was not susceptible to the degeneration that has afflicted the term ‘gender’ and enabled it to be wielded so effectively by transgender activists. As the term ‘gender’ was adopted more extensively by feminists, its meaning was transformed to mean not just the socially constructed behavior associated with biological sex, but the system of male power and women’s subordination itself, which became known as the ‘gender hierarchy’ or ‘gender order’ (Connell, 2005 ; Mackinnon, 1989 ). Gradually, older terms to describe this system, such as male domination, sex class and sex caste went out of fashion, with the effect that direct identification of the agents responsible for the subordination of women – men – could no longer be named. Gender, as a euphemism, disappeared men as agents.”

    ― Sheila Jeffreys, Gender Hurts: A Feminist Analysis of the Politics of Transgenderism

    Ms. Ryan needs to know find the word “cis” as it is applied to the female sex is offensive to many women. “Cis” is not a word that women chose for ourselves. Women do not have “cis-privilege”. Femininity is often forced on women, and it starts from an early age.

    As to the parents of children who don’t fit neatly into sex based stereotypes, and the children themselves, these are some of my questions for Ryan.
    (1.) Is Ryan aware that there are different views of “gender”, and gender abolitionists see nothing in gender to celebrate and embrace? Gender is not binary. It’s a hierarchy.
    (2.) Is Ryan aware that many people, including some intrepid professionals who refuse to be silenced, are concerned at the alarming rate in the “transitioning” of children.
    (3.) Does Ryan know that children are being sterilized with GnRH agonists and/or cross gender hormones, and the sterilization of children is usually viewed as a human rights abuse? Teenage girls are getting “top surgery” which basically amounts to elective mastectomies with the surgical trimming down or areolas and nipples.
    (4.) It’s a historical fact that sex reassignment surgery has been used as a form of gay and lesbian eugenics in countries like Iran. Does Ryan realize that some people in the U.S. see the “transitioning” of children as a form of anti-gay conversion therapy?

    Boys who are different are simply boys. Girls who are different are still girls. They are not “cis gendered”, transgender, “non-binary”, “gender variant”, or any of the labels gender obsessed people like to use to make themselves feel special. They are children, perhaps different, but still children nonetheless. Compare Ryan’s video to this amazing video by a brilliant young woman. Gender is part of the neoliberal post modern backlash against feminism.

    “The End of Gender: Revolution Not Reform”

    Universities are supposed to be places that hone critical thinking skills, not an exercise in following whatever is trendy and fashionable.

    Sorry for the long post.

    • rheapdx1 Says:

      @SkyLarkPhillips Your post is dead on about those who are sociologists or wannabe same parroting the lines of the cult. This is the result of an example set by some in my generation [thoroughly embarrassed by the fact that my age group enabled this crap] , which made facts something to be ignored, feel-good mantras to be repeated as often as possible.

      What is being set in motion by all of the poor research and press are waves of people, who in about 20 years or so will have buyer’s or patient’s remorse , when their bodies and minds will have short circuits, thanks to following the crowd. The few who did their own extensive research….via valid means and acted in their lives, based on same will be far and few between. Those will be the ones who will see Ms. Ryan’s research as being akin to the ‘science-based’ papers that excused the original intent of (pardon this, but it is one of the sadder chapters of history) Sanger and Planned Parenthood and call it part of a destructive pattern.

      • Relieved Says:

        It also is what happens when the sjw/progressive culture in schools constantly tell white families that they have no value and that they need to be in a perpetual state of apology to other groups.

        These white mothers can’t change their skin tone, but they can change their child’s gender and immediately go from hated to celebrated in progressive circles. That’s a problem with the oppression olympics ideology – when you tell one group they are permanently de-legitimized, they will find a way to re-legitimize themselves.

        Trans allows the groups that are de-legitimized in social justice narratives to be part of the in-group rather than stuck with the oppressor label (white/het/male). I can’t say I blame them – you can’t just demand that people view themselves as bad because it’s part of your ideology (we see this with the way trans paint anyone who isn’t 100% on board as worse than Hitler) – all people have needs and one of the most important of those needs is self-definition and self-esteem.

        So in their thinking, if your category is “bad”, well, you will just have to put yourself in another more oppressed category and you can be absolved of your sin of belonging to the wrong group. This causes all sorts of issues (ask Rachel Dozal).

        In their minds, these mothers are just making sure their children are being celebrated however they have to do it. Identity politics and the endless divisiveness it causes are partially to blame here, although I don’t expect the perpetrators to ever admit that their policies and ideologies have caused this damage.

        I suspect that without the competitive sjw/progressive culture in upper-middle-class schools we would see far fewer transkids.

  16. fmnst Says:

    GM, thank you for another brilliant post, followed up with many excellent comments.

    Just one note. Regarding the ages of boys versus girls being identified as”trans” by their mothers/parents, these seem to track with the self-reports of lesbians and gays ages of identifying as such, who were interviewed in Vera Whisman’s brilliant dissertation, published in 1995, “Queer By Choice: Lesbians, Gay Men, and the Politics of Identity.”

    Whitman conducted qualitative interviews with ~75 lesbians and gays who had replied to her ad in lesbian/gay publications, seeking subjects who identified as lesbian or gay by choice. Her book is a fascinating and brilliant feminist analysis of the interview material, which I highly recommend to anyone interested in the topic of culture, politics, and sexual preference or orientation, and sex roles.

    Relevant to your post, the gay men in Whisman’s research felt they chose (or experienced) same-sex attraction mostly when they were under age 5 or so; whereas for the lesbians, this choice came much later in life, anywhere from early adulthood to middle age.

    I wonder if the boys pegged as trans by their parents in Hilton’s research were targeted as such due to their emerging homosexuality, with concurrent outward GNC behavior.

    And just as gayness has been more stigmatized than lesbianism, mothers and fathers may feel more afraid of their own loss of face at having a gay son than a lesbian daughter, hence a greater policing of boys’ GNC behavior and parental urge to identify them as trans at an earlier age than for girls.

    • Medi Says:

      Oh honestly, I agree Branjor, in what universe are lesbians not totally erased and stigmatized? Any girl who refuses to obey men and male rules of subservient behavior is stigmatized. Fortunately, I chose to be a lesbian early in life. Boys seemed like utter boring violent pigs to me, so I didn’t want that life.

      Now, of course, I would be in danger from the trans cult, and little lesbian girls, it is very dangerous out there.

      • rheapdx1 Says:

        @Medi But gee…..many when they start their Mtt transition are told that there is no violence in the community, it is not disgusting to emulate women, via the neon tetra makeup, with outfits straight out of late night Cinemax. Oh yeah….and there is no crying in baseball 😊

        With that said, it is so damn sad that what is told to embrace is a sickening stereotype of what some ‘think’ it means to be female. If (pardon this, it is for example purposes) women born women fully bought into that crap, Marie Curie, Mae Jamison, even football legend Paul Brown’s niece….who is the GM in charge of player development for the Cincinnati Bengals, or those who are PIOs with the architectural firm, HOK would not exist. And there are others.

        What is really telling is how many freaking times one who is Mtt has to ‘validate’ the insanity of the stereotype. But at the same time, love to show off weaponry or how much of their leisure material involves assaults and conquests of women and others. Or just as sickening….are involved in creating that garbage.

        That level of hypocrisy is part and parcel of the male privilege. No matter how much it is denied. Again…..any wonder why there are those few in the community who keep a crapload of distance away from the insanity and would rather be around the few who are sane….or be with folks outside of that decaying orbit, like yourself who are HONEST, or keep company with cats.

  17. Branjor Says:

    gayness has been more stigmatized than lesbianism

    In what universe? Also, lesbian feelings are experienced by girls at a very young age, for me preschool. The “choice”, however, is so stigmatized that I didn’t decide it was all right to go with it until I was a teenager, after women’s liberation had come along.

  18. Ella Says:

    I thought this would be about something a little different based on the title.

    I am the foster mom of a MtT kid, took him in at age 13 after being his stepmom for 6 years. He was severely neglected by an alcoholic mom and traumatized by a dad with schizophrenia.

    I am writing my response because my MtT kid seems very comfortable with and is very reluctant to give up the male viewpoint he has adopted and internalized from his dad, my ex, who is fairly misogynistic.

    With regards to ~allowing~ me to perform stereotypical parenting roles: he downright EXPECTS to take a stereotypical entitled son role while as the mom I do the cooking and cleaning up after him and the caretaking for our household and animals, and shop for his clothes without him.

    My MtT was a pretty masculine little kid who loved camo and mohawk haircuts and wrestling with his brothers, climbing trees and making everything into a gun… and discovered he was trans at age 12 upon his discovery of social media – Bronies and DeviantArt.

    He is now at age 16, nearly 17, and still clings to this fantasy. His endocrinologist (for T1 diabetes) has tried to push sex hormones on him, despite so much that indicates the kid is seriously confused.

    The kid has a thought disorder of some kind, is medicated for mood disorder but it could actually be Borderline Personality Disorder. He was hospitalized for suicide attempt this summer because he didn’t want to ever have to Adult. He is incredibly immature, still sucks his thumb, and does not intuit what emotions that peoples’ facial expressions or tone of voice are conveying.

    I had never forced any gender roles onto the kids; I am bisexual or maybe lesbian and only occasionally feminine. I still don’t force any gender roles onto the kids – the kid’s younger brother loved costume jewelry and lip smackers when he was little and I didn’t/don’t care. (And in fact, if he had been the one to claim transgender identity, I might have believed him.)

    However, I do believe that if gender is a social construct, then you have to participate in your gender, not just dress as your gender, in order to “be” your gender, you have to socialize and think in your gender too.

    He does not seem to want to do any of the stereotypical behaviors that fill the “woman” social role except wear a bra…

    My MtT fetishizes the thought of having breasts to fill out clothes that many cis-women might consider objectifying. At the same time he has unrealistic ideas of what it means to be a woman: he thinks we’re not horny, that it’s easier to be a woman because everyone does stuff for you like buying you dinner, no one is mean to girls, and being pretty is fun. He said that he would be a girl even if he lived in a place that was oppressive to women because it was easier.

    I think this is because he doesn’t identify with or consume media that is intended for a female audience – the ‘female’ EDM singers he listens to are auto-tuned males and he has never read a novel from the female viewpoint except if you count female felines.

    He had his hair and makeup done and wore a matching bridesmaid’s dress to his mom’s wedding. But he didn’t participate in the wedding photos with his sister and the other 12 bridesmaids; instead, headed straight for the buffet with the groom’s party after the ceremony.

    His bio family is quite large, and at family gatherings he self-segregates with the males in the computer room while the females self-segregate in the kitchen. One girl cousin does play videogames with the men, but no male cousins help in the kitchen.

    The other day, we had a bit of an argument started by a news story he heard about China’s demographic problem. He didn’t understand the problems that killing an entire generation of women had created – he has never observed that there is a social tradition of women in caretaking roles; didn’t think about who took care of old people and couldn’t even conceptualize of what kind of care older people might need. He did state he thought the whole problem would be solved if Chinese men just went gay en masse (in a way I thought was considering the male sexual need above the care needs of society.)

    He tries on affectations like an anime fanservice girl – giggling and batting eyelashes, or walking with an exaggerated hip wiggle – but it seems insulting like a caricature, not even like drag.

    He does not appreciate personal hygiene or grooming, and doesn’t understand that it is only a girl with problems who goes out of the house with her hair looking like a squirrel nested in it. (He has naturally curly hair and allows it to mat over several days.) He has to be persuaded to shower.

    He is grossed out not fascinated by functions of the female reproductive organs but also ashamed of his own penis.

    …But he still thrills when someone mistakes him for a girl in public. Ugh.

  19. Trish Says:

    The trans mommy blogger “Raising Jeremy” is horrific!

    Even the one sentence that mentioned her child began with trans mommy blogger referring to herself in the 3rd person “You accepted your child and there are days when it’s hard and shitty and you still turn up….”

    – and was followed by sentence after sentence about how special trans mommy blogger is and how special is every single thing that trans mommy blogger does.

    The actual child seems to be irrelevant to how special trans mommy blogger is (in the eyes of trans mommy blogger) – all this kid is for her is a name for the blog and an excuse to frame herself as SuperMommy.

    I pity her all the relatives who are stuck with her. But most of all, I pity the child she has cast in the role of “excuse for mommy to do all these things”.

  20. Carrie-Anne Says:

    Sadly, I’m not surprised to see the findings about mothers taking the lead in transing their kids. In all the stories I’ve seen so far, it’s always the mother who transed the child and keeps the delusion alive, while the father is much more hesitant and upset. I found out recently that someone I know transed her son when he was probably around 3-4 years old. Something tells me this was based on sexist stereotypes, though it’s claimed as “brave coming out at such a young age.” I really hope this child is able to get out of this game of pretend before crossing the point of no return.


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