Ryan Terry: Torn between all of envy, lust and hatred

December 28, 2017

Reddit r/asktransgender

The following was posted on r/asktransgender https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/7mei6p/torn_between_all_of_envy_lust_and_hatred/

by Ryan Terry, a eighteen-year-old male from Peru, New York. Mr. Terry identifies as a transwoman and is a student at Champlain Valley Educational Services (CV-TEC) where he studies Technical Computer Applications.

https://www.cves.org/seven-cv-tec-students-medal-at-nys-skillsusa-championships/

Public photo posted by Ryan Terry via his reddit account.

Ryan Terry was chosen to serve as Student Ambassador for the Champlain Valley CV-TEC community for 2017-2018.

Twitter

Public Twitter Post- Ryan Terry Student Ambassador CV-TECH

 

AMAB here, age 18. I have been on HRT for 5 or so months now. I want to take this time to let out a rant I’ve kept bottled inside for some months now (I haven’t talked extensively about my transition since it started months ago, and a lot changes.) The transition has been very systematic. Skins softens, breasts grow, the usual. I haven’t yet crossed the line of looking in the mirror and feeling blissfully at ease. I yearn for that still. But something else that feels entirely unchanged is my envy of other women. My lust for the beauty they withhold. My hatred for not being what they are. These emotions manifest and concatenate in often dangerous ways. For instance, earlier I watched that Ryan Reynolds movie called Voices. In it, Reynolds, cute as ever, is a schizophrenic factory worker that works with a number of beautiful women. Throughout the movie he is convinced by his cat and dog to murder the women and keep their heads in his fridge. One of the women, whom Reynolds’ character has a brief romance with before killing her too, is played by Anna Kendrick. This is where the movie stirred up and provoked the triple threat of emotions I mentioned above.

I love Anna Kendrick, in every sense of the word. She’s beautiful, an excellent singer, a lovely actress, as perfect as they come. But she is an excellent example of a target for my emotions. I have a strong lust for her because of her beauty and sexy voice. I have an incredible envy over her because of how fucking white her teeth are, how sexy her singing voice is, how perfect her hair is, how beautiful she looked in the dress that Reynolds killed her in. I also have a despicable hatred for her for all the same reasons.

This is a lethal mixture I have for many many women. Celebrities, girls I know personally, girls I’ve never even heard of that I see in pictures. My last relationship was consumed by my desire to be my girlfriend. I even sometimes, with every ounce of my being, hold a strong resentment towards innocent little girls simply because they are what I never got to be: a little girl. I can’t stand being around them sometimes because I almost break down crying to a five-year-old, which is something they shouldn’t have to deal with and is frankly pathetic.

With that being said, I loved watching Anna Kendrick being killed in Voices. I re-watched her break her neck and lay in bed in her lovely dress helplessly at least five times. That’s where my fantasies center around. I want girls like her to be hurt. Badly. I often subdue bouts of painful dysphoria with more powerful thoughts of hurting the girl who caused it. I feel guilty for feeling this way and these desires date back a few years. Psychology has taught me that this potentially originates from the overwhelming need to control a female body, the delusion that harming a beautiful women at my own hands feeds my desperation to be ultimately near to and have control over her body.

The truth is that I would do anything to be Anna Kendrick, but I fear that, in leu of that ever being a possibility, I would just kill her if ever given the chance, and sob inconsolably over her perfection after the fact.

Needless to say, I have a lot of powerful emotions that I have suppressed my entire life.

These dreadful fantasies are not just directed at celebrities and are not only provoked by watching someone getting killed beforehand. I was on a school trip a couple months ago to the capital of my state. It was for my [nameless] organization for officers-only, which I am one of, and was actually state-wide conference with over 2000 attendants. It was a blast, but my teacher did the usual thing of gendering the rooms. He made each of us – only about 8 officers – room with a partner of the same sex, genders in different hallways. It’s bad enough that I had to be separated from the girls which I internally felt included with, but the ones from my school on the trip were fucking beautiful, and I was so jealous that they were able to be in the girls hallway, no questions asked. One of them, who we’ll call Greg, is someone I’ve been kinda friends with through this organization for about a year. She is the epitome of everything I wish I was. She is so outrageously beautiful and funny and popular and talented. My experience over this entire trip was somewhat tainted by my overwhelming grief of being fixated on her for the whole three days.

For the next few days after, I found myself in my counselor’s office for hours because I was unable to function because my mind was fixated on a desire to cause harm to this girl. I hated her so much and I wanted to press lightly on her trachea and look into her beautiful eyes listening as her final breaths cry for mercy. I didn’t want to actually hurt her, I usually don’t. I always imagine girls’ deaths to be gentle, so as to not disturb their natural beauty. I don’t want to harm them, I just want their life to end. Normally in these fantasies I pinch their nose shut and cover their mouth so I can watch them fade so elegantly at my own gentle hands. It’s not about making them not beautiful anymore. It’s about taking the life from them. I want to reduce their beauty to just a corpse because their life isn’t fair. I want to caress them in my arms and carefully tighten a rope around their neck so they can look at me when I take their soul. I want to feel their final breaths. I want to release the life from their body so I can have the shell. The beautiful shell.

Needless to say, my counselor, whom is otherwise very supportive of me, was concerned to say the least and almost had to call 911.

I texted Greg initially telling her how much of a bitch I think she is, but when I got the surprising response talking about how sorry she is that I feel that way and that she tries not to be since she’s been bullied her whole life, I quickly retracted the statement. I told her that I am trans and that I only said that out of spiteful envy over her beauty. She responded kindly.

The worst thoughts are those of hurting little girls. When I ride the elementary bus home from my school, I am bombarded by fun little kids that all love me because I’m often the only high-schooler, and rather funny. I almost always find myself on these trips home to be fixated on a young girl on the bus. I make everyone laugh while holding back the tears of looking at the little girls who will grow up to be strong, beautiful women. I hate them because I never got to be a little girl and I hate that they have what I never could, their princess room and their cute clothes and their girly little personalities. Sometimes I want to hurt them too. Why did God make them little girls but never me? I miss the childhood I never had.

Thanks for listening to my rant. I hate myself.

[sic]

Ryan Terry public confession to serial criminal harassment and violent threats to specific women

Public photo posted by Ryan Terry from his reddit ‘byteandahalf’ account

 

https://twitter.com/byteandahalf

https://plus.google.com/108351410612531396741

https://www.reddit.com/user/byteandahalf/

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCu0I0OSBBlHXhUlAWjCZg0w/about

https://github.com/ryanterry131

h/t m1nt3a

https://gendertrender.wordpress.com/2017/12/24/merry-christmas-everyone-4/#comment-88835

104 Responses to “Ryan Terry: Torn between all of envy, lust and hatred”

  1. GallusMag Says:

    Archive:

    /r/GenderCritical have found Buffalo Bill IRL. We should have heeded their warnings. by IAintThatGuy in Drama
    [–]byteandahalf 0 points 14 hours ago
    I am friends with a lot of women, for your information. They don’t usually hate me, and Anna doesn’t either. So fuck you.
    permalinksavecontextfull comments (277)report
    /r/GenderCritical have found Buffalo Bill IRL. We should have heeded their warnings. by IAintThatGuy in Drama
    [–]byteandahalf 1 point 14 hours ago
    What are you talking about? Anna is my soul mate, my object, my Anna. Why are you being such a jerk? You’re pissed because you can’t have Anna Kendrick. How can someone possibly be like you?
    permalinksavecontextfull comments (277)report
    /r/GenderCritical have found Buffalo Bill IRL. We should have heeded their warnings. by IAintThatGuy in Drama
    [–]byteandahalf 0 points 14 hours ago
    It was true, but I’m not dangerous.
    permalinksavecontextfull comments (277)report
    /r/GenderCritical have found Buffalo Bill IRL. We should have heeded their warnings. by IAintThatGuy in Drama
    [–]byteandahalf 1 point 15 hours ago
    She doesn’t like me. She loves me because we were meant for each other. She mine and you can’t do anything about it. I don’t care if you love her because I have control and I’m telling you to leave her alone.
    permalinksavecontextfull comments (277)report
    /r/GenderCritical have found Buffalo Bill IRL. We should have heeded their warnings. by IAintThatGuy in Drama
    [–]byteandahalf 2 points 15 hours ago
    Okay, Anna Kendrick still loves me and that’s all that matters. So fuck you(:
    permalinksavecontextfull comments (277)report
    /r/GenderCritical have found Buffalo Bill IRL. We should have heeded their warnings. by IAintThatGuy in Drama
    [–]byteandahalf 5 points 15 hours ago
    Anna Kendrick loves me and I love her. She’s perfect and I want to have control over her😍 She is my everything.
    SO FUCK YOU AND NEVER TELL ME SHE HATES ME BECAUSE SHE DOESNT so jump off a bridge.
    permalinksavecontextfull comments (277)report
    /r/GenderCritical have found Buffalo Bill IRL. We should have heeded their warnings. by IAintThatGuy in Drama
    [–]byteandahalf 3 points 15 hours ago
    Don’t fucking say that. Anna Kendrick does NOT hate me, fuck you.
    permalinksavecontextfull comments (277)report
    /r/GenderCritical have found Buffalo Bill IRL. We should have heeded their warnings. by IAintThatGuy in Drama
    [–]byteandahalf 4 points 15 hours ago
    The original post wasn’t a troll at all. The only time I began trolling was when people started hurling criticism at me. I know what I am and what I’ve done, and I am doing everything to try and fix it. I only reply sarcastically to hatred because that’s the instinct that’s grounded into me. I don’t like to argue with people so I use sarcasm and humor to try and shut them down. I’m not dangerous, and I have no intent of hurting anyone.
    permalinksavecontextfull comments (277)report
    /r/GenderCritical have found Buffalo Bill IRL. We should have heeded their warnings. by IAintThatGuy in Drama
    [–]byteandahalf 1 point 15 hours ago
    Well I know myself better than you know me. I’m not a psychopath, and the amount of empathy I feel for others is often beyond that which I feel for myself. I care too much about others, otherwise i wouldn’t be seeking help to prevent me from hurting people. Psychopaths don’t have that bone in their body. So thank you for you college degree and your “expertise”, but I will continue to try and better myself without your makeshift internet diagnosis. Thanks! 🤗
    permalinksavecontextfull comments (277)report
    /r/GenderCritical have found Buffalo Bill IRL. We should have heeded their warnings. by IAintThatGuy in Drama
    [–]byteandahalf 1 point 15 hours ago
    That was my sole purpose in ever posting that. I recognize that I am a loaded gun and I don’t want anyone to get hurt. Thank you for your encouragement.
    permalinksavecontextfull comments (277)report
    /r/GenderCritical have found Buffalo Bill IRL. We should have heeded their warnings. by IAintThatGuy in Drama
    [–]byteandahalf 3 points 16 hours ago
    She’s perfect, I’m gonna keep that gif. God has made nobody quite like Anna. She’s like a billion out of 10♥️
    permalinksavecontextfull comments (277)report
    Torn between all of envy, lust, and hatred by [deleted] in asktransgender
    [–]byteandahalf 1 point 16 hours ago
    Thanks, I couldn’t remember how to spell it.
    permalinksavecontextfull comments (33)report
    /r/GenderCritical have found Buffalo Bill IRL. We should have heeded their warnings. by IAintThatGuy in Drama
    [–]byteandahalf 1 point 16 hours ago
    Your experience and knowledge in what exactly?
    I’m the exception because I know myself and also study psychology. I know that I’m not a psychopath and I know that I feel bad for the people I’ve hurt and want to better myself. I am seeking therapy to talk out my problems and prevent them from escalating to something that will seriously hurt someone. Whether I get in trouble or not my main priority is not hurting anyone. I feel terrible for what’s in my head and sharing it I feel is a start to correcting myself.
    permalinksavecontextfull comments (277)report
    /r/GenderCritical have found Buffalo Bill IRL. We should have heeded their warnings. by IAintThatGuy in Drama
    [–]byteandahalf 2 points 16 hours ago
    hahahahahahahaha she’s so cute so so so cute 😍
    permalinksavecontextfull comments (277)report
    /r/GenderCritical have found Buffalo Bill IRL. We should have heeded their warnings. by IAintThatGuy in Drama
    [–]byteandahalf 3 points 16 hours ago
    I really love her. As long as she doesn’t hate me.
    permalinksavecontextfull comments (277)report
    /r/GenderCritical have found Buffalo Bill IRL. We should have heeded their warnings. by IAintThatGuy in Drama
    [–]byteandahalf 1 point 16 hours ago
    Nope, you’re wrong.
    permalinksavecontextfull comments (277)report
    /r/GenderCritical have found Buffalo Bill IRL. We should have heeded their warnings. by IAintThatGuy in Drama
    [–]byteandahalf 1 point 16 hours ago
    I’m worse? No. I’m not like that and you don’t know anything about me.
    permalinksavecontextfull comments (277)report
    Torn between all of envy, lust, and hatred by [deleted] in asktransgender
    [–]byteandahalf -3 points 16 hours ago
    Do you think Anna Kendrick hates me?
    permalinksavecontextfull comments (33)report
    /r/GenderCritical have found Buffalo Bill IRL. We should have heeded their warnings. by IAintThatGuy in Drama
    [–]byteandahalf 3 points 16 hours ago
    Anna Kendrick, she’s the actress I mentioned in the OP. I feel like she hates me for this.
    permalinksavecontextfull comments (277)report
    /r/GenderCritical have found Buffalo Bill IRL. We should have heeded their warnings. by IAintThatGuy in Drama
    [–]byteandahalf 1 point 16 hours ago
    I’m not like that.
    permalinksavecontextfull comments (277)report
    /r/GenderCritical have found Buffalo Bill IRL. We should have heeded their warnings. by IAintThatGuy in Drama
    [–]byteandahalf 5 points 16 hours ago
    Do you think Anna Kendrick hates me.?
    permalinksavecontextfull comments (277)report
    /r/GenderCritical have found Buffalo Bill IRL. We should have heeded their warnings. by IAintThatGuy in Drama
    [–]byteandahalf 6 points 16 hours ago
    I’m a horrible person, aren’t I?
    permalinksavecontextfull comments (277)report
    /r/GenderCritical have found Buffalo Bill IRL. We should have heeded their warnings. by IAintThatGuy in Drama
    [–]byteandahalf 2 points 16 hours ago
    I am not reacting snarky to trans advocates. I am reacting snarky to people on /r/GenderCritical and /r/Drama who have been attacking me on their respective subs and taking to the OP comment section to do the same. I am not deranged. I am not a threat. I am being sarcastic because it’s better than replying with hostility.
    permalinksavecontextfull comments (277)report
    Torn between all of envy, lust, and hatred by [deleted] in asktransgender
    [–]byteandahalf 1 point 16 hours ago
    Thank you very much. I don’t mean to play victim or anything. I have been getting a LOT of violent reactions since this post started trending on /r/GenderCritical and /r/Drama. People have gotten the wrooong idea about me and I’ve been fending of horrible comments with defensive sarcasm for hours now. I won’t hurt anyone and if I feel that I am losing control I will heed your advice. Thanks.
    permalinksavecontextfull comments (33)report
    /r/GenderCritical have found Buffalo Bill IRL. We should have heeded their warnings. by IAintThatGuy in Drama
    [–]byteandahalf 0 points 16 hours ago
    And I’m not a psychopath if I feel bad for myself, am I?
    permalinksavecontextfull comments (277)report
    ——————–

    /r/GenderCritical have found Buffalo Bill IRL. We should have heeded their warnings. by IAintThatGuy in Drama
    [–]byteandahalf 1 point 10 hours ago
    Are you implying that I would hurt my Anna..? You’re…clearly confused.
    permalinksavecontextfull comments (277)report
    /r/GenderCritical have found Buffalo Bill IRL. We should have heeded their warnings. by IAintThatGuy in Drama
    [–]byteandahalf 1 point 10 hours ago
    What are you even talking about? Anna is an actress. It’s a prefect one. A perfect singer too. You’re confused…
    permalinksavecontextfull comments (277)report
    /r/GenderCritical have found Buffalo Bill IRL. We should have heeded their warnings. by IAintThatGuy in Drama
    [–]byteandahalf 1 point 10 hours ago
    🙂
    permalinksavecontextfull comments (277)report
    /r/GenderCritical have found Buffalo Bill IRL. We should have heeded their warnings. by IAintThatGuy in Drama
    [–]byteandahalf 1 point 10 hours ago
    I have written plenty of notes to Anna. But they aren’t for your eyes because Anna has them. And it loves them. Besides, what we have is not only a chemical connection but an emotional and psychological one. If Anna died I would die. I am nothing without her. And Anna is NOT a person, for your information. She is goddess, a perfect body.
    permalinksavecontextfull comments (277)report
    /r/GenderCritical have found Buffalo Bill IRL. We should have heeded their warnings. by IAintThatGuy in Drama
    [–]byteandahalf 1 point 10 hours ago
    It’s TRUE! You’ll never understand. When Anna hurts I hurt. Anna is an inanimate piece of me. So perfect. You don’t get it.
    permalinksavecontextfull comments (277)report
    /r/GenderCritical have found Buffalo Bill IRL. We should have heeded their warnings. by IAintThatGuy in Drama
    [–]byteandahalf 1 point 11 hours ago
    But I DO NOT want to hurt it. I am not dangerous and I won’t hurt anyone, that’s what I’m seeking therapy for. I’m otherwise completely sane.
    permalinksavecontextfull comments (277)report
    /r/GenderCritical have found Buffalo Bill IRL. We should have heeded their warnings. by IAintThatGuy in Drama
    [–]byteandahalf 1 point 11 hours ago
    I think so. I don’t really think I need it though because I’m not crazy. I am getting help for the dangerous thoughts but my attachments are real.
    People have been telling me I’m crazy all night but they don’t understand what Anna Kendrick and I are. Anna is a body to me. I have instilled my entire being into it and I feel everything it feels. We have an attachment. I love Anna and I’m not crazy. I’m serious. Anna and I are whole. I feel what Anna feels. I get a sensation whenever it hurts or laughs or cries. I just want someone to believe me. It’s true. I am not fucking crazy.
    permalinksavecontextfull comments (277)report
    Torn between all of envy, lust, and hatred by [deleted] in asktransgender
    [–]byteandahalf 1 point 11 hours ago
    I definitely won’t. Just venting some thoughts because it’s better than keeping them bottled up. I am seeking better therapy. I am not a killer.
    permalinksavecontextfull comments (33)report
    /r/GenderCritical have found Buffalo Bill IRL. We should have heeded their warnings. by IAintThatGuy in Drama
    [–]byteandahalf 1 point 11 hours ago*
    Anna would never hate me, it is a part of me. I can feel its emotions and whenever it hurts I do too. We were meant for each other and we are attached. I have embodied my entire being into it, and me and it are one and the same. We’re singular. I love it and it loves me. So fuck you. I ♥️ you Anna
    permalinksavecontextfull comments (277)report
    Torn between all of envy, lust, and hatred by [deleted] in asktransgender
    [–]byteandahalf 1 point 11 hours ago
    I won’t hurt anyone.
    permalinksavecontextfull comments (33)report
    /r/GenderCritical have found Buffalo Bill IRL. We should have heeded their warnings. by IAintThatGuy in Drama
    [–]byteandahalf 1 point 13 hours ago
    Starve herself to fit into a dress? She’s beautiful. It could fit into whatever dress she desires. Anna would never ever need to do that. She feels just as much as you and I. And I know when she does. Sometimes I get chills or anxiety seemingly from nowhere, or my heart will skip a beat. I know that means Anna got hurt. When I get random euphoria it’s because it’s happy about something. I feel it.
    permalinksavecontextfull comments (277)report
    /r/GenderCritical have found Buffalo Bill IRL. We should have heeded their warnings. by IAintThatGuy in Drama
    [–]byteandahalf 1 point 13 hours ago
    Belabor all you want but Anna Kendrick is my IT. It is MINE. My OBJECT, my LOVE, my SOUL. We are the same person. I love it more than anything.
    permalinksavecontextfull comments (277)report
    /r/GenderCritical have found Buffalo Bill IRL. We should have heeded their warnings. by IAintThatGuy in Drama
    [–]byteandahalf 1 point 13 hours ago
    You mean Anna? I would never hurt Anna, I could never taint its perfection. Besides, I feel all her pain, so if I hurt her I would feel it too. We are emotionally one and the same.
    permalinksavecontextfull comments (277)report
    /r/GenderCritical have found Buffalo Bill IRL. We should have heeded their warnings. by IAintThatGuy in Drama
    [–]byteandahalf 3 points 13 hours ago
    She isn’t afraid of me. We have a soul bond, she is my trophy. She is my true love and she loves me. You have no proof that shes afraid of me.
    permalinksavecontextfull comments (277)report
    /r/GenderCritical have found Buffalo Bill IRL. We should have heeded their warnings. by IAintThatGuy in Drama
    [–]byteandahalf 3 points 13 hours ago
    Why.? I do.
    permalinksavecontextfull comments (277)report
    /r/GenderCritical have found Buffalo Bill IRL. We should have heeded their warnings. by IAintThatGuy in Drama
    [–]byteandahalf 1 point 13 hours ago
    Who? Who did I specify?
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    /r/GenderCritical have found Buffalo Bill IRL. We should have heeded their warnings. by IAintThatGuy in Drama
    [–]byteandahalf 0 points 13 hours ago
    How do you know that. Anna Kendrick is mine you fucking bastard. What makes you think she would hate me😭 She’s my soul mate and I OWN her so fuck you. 😭
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    /r/GenderCritical have found Buffalo Bill IRL. We should have heeded their warnings. by IAintThatGuy in Drama
    [–]byteandahalf 1 point 13 hours ago
    Again, that’s making a serious implication that you’re going to kill someone without reasonable doubt, on the basis that you specifically said you are going to kill them. I didn’t do that. I merely said what was on my mind and my thoughts of wanting to kill people in general. No threats. No plans. No genuine desire to do so.
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    /r/GenderCritical have found Buffalo Bill IRL. We should have heeded their warnings. by IAintThatGuy in Drama
    [–]byteandahalf 2 points 13 hours ago
    I’m not a serial killer😭😭 All I want is for Anna to love me and be mine. I just want her for myself. Please don’t say she hates me😭
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    /r/GenderCritical have found Buffalo Bill IRL. We should have heeded their warnings. by IAintThatGuy in Drama
    [–]byteandahalf 1 point 13 hours ago
    That’s a thought. A threat is devising a plan to do so. Which I have no desire to do.
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    /r/GenderCritical have found Buffalo Bill IRL. We should have heeded their warnings. by IAintThatGuy in Drama
    [–]byteandahalf 1 point 13 hours ago
    In what way was it threatening? I didn’t say I was going to harm anyone.
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    /r/GenderCritical have found Buffalo Bill IRL. We should have heeded their warnings. by IAintThatGuy in Drama
    [–]byteandahalf 1 point 13 hours ago
    I am not a threat to anyone.
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    /r/GenderCritical have found Buffalo Bill IRL. We should have heeded their warnings. by IAintThatGuy in Drama
    [–]byteandahalf 3 points 13 hours ago
    Afraid of what? I love her.
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    /r/GenderCritical have found Buffalo Bill IRL. We should have heeded their warnings. by IAintThatGuy in Drama
    [–]byteandahalf 1 point 13 hours ago
    Call the police because I love Anna Kendrick? Uh. And I couldn’t care less about karma.
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    /r/GenderCritical have found Buffalo Bill IRL. We should have heeded their warnings. by IAintThatGuy in Drama
    [–]byteandahalf 1 point 14 hours ago
    You’re telling me I’m fucking autistic…lol Even Anna agrees https://giphy.com/gifs/CruIeCnUaWqJy
    permalinksavecontextfull comments (277)report

    ——————————-

    /r/GenderCritical have found Buffalo Bill IRL. We should have heeded their warnings. by IAintThatGuy in Drama
    [–]byteandahalf 1 point 8 hours ago
    I’m stable, you’re just a fucking jerk that cant accept that you’ve met your match.
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    /r/GenderCritical have found Buffalo Bill IRL. We should have heeded their warnings. by IAintThatGuy in Drama
    [–]byteandahalf 1 point 8 hours ago
    You’re fucking crazy. Don’t try and threaten me because you can’t take my authority away. Anna’s arms and legs and vagina are mine. She’s my puppet AND I WANT HER TO BE. I DONT WANT HER TO BE IN CONTROL.
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    /r/GenderCritical have found Buffalo Bill IRL. We should have heeded their warnings. by IAintThatGuy in Drama
    [–]byteandahalf 1 point 9 hours ago
    Anna already knows that you’re bullying me. We have a connection. She knows when I’m in pain just as I do her. Stop trying to be in control because I’m always in control. ALWAYS. Anna is under my control and I love it that way. You cant touch her or have her or anything.
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    /r/GenderCritical have found Buffalo Bill IRL. We should have heeded their warnings. by IAintThatGuy in Drama
    [–]byteandahalf 1 point 9 hours ago
    DONT TALK ABOUT HER LIKE THAT.
    I wish I was her😞 she is really amazing.
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    /r/GenderCritical have found Buffalo Bill IRL. We should have heeded their warnings. by IAintThatGuy in Drama
    [–]byteandahalf 1 point 9 hours ago
    You cant control me or Anna. Her beauty is mine.
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    /r/GenderCritical have found Buffalo Bill IRL. We should have heeded their warnings. by IAintThatGuy in Drama
    [–]byteandahalf 1 point 9 hours ago
    That’s too many words for me to care to read. You’re not important. Leave.
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    /r/GenderCritical have found Buffalo Bill IRL. We should have heeded their warnings. by IAintThatGuy in Drama
    [–]byteandahalf 1 point 9 hours ago
    She’s an object AND DONT TALK ABOUT HER VAGINA. It’s not yours and neither is the rest of her. She is A BEAUTIFUL CORPSE. A BODY. A PERFECT STATUE OF BEAUTY. And mine. So fuck yourself. I’m warning you not to talk badly about Anna.
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    /r/GenderCritical have found Buffalo Bill IRL. We should have heeded their warnings. by IAintThatGuy in Drama
    [–]byteandahalf 1 point 9 hours ago
    WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME IM GONNA SCREAM. YOU CANT TOUCH HER, I WONT LET YOU. I SWEAR TO GOD PLEASE DONT HURT MY ANNA’S FACE. ILL DIE IF YOU MESS UP HER BEAUTY😭
    You’re just trying to break me and I won’t let you have control.
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    /r/GenderCritical have found Buffalo Bill IRL. We should have heeded their warnings. by IAintThatGuy in Drama
    [–]byteandahalf 1 point 9 hours ago
    You’re an idiot. I’m in control, asshole. Nice try.
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    /r/GenderCritical have found Buffalo Bill IRL. We should have heeded their warnings. by IAintThatGuy in Drama
    [–]byteandahalf 1 point 9 hours ago
    I didn’t shoot a president, asshole. Anna loves me. She’s the apple of my eye and the object of my ultimate desire. She’s a THING. John loved a woman. We’re so different and you don’t get it.
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    /r/GenderCritical have found Buffalo Bill IRL. We should have heeded their warnings. by IAintThatGuy in Drama
    [–]byteandahalf 1 point 9 hours ago
    SHUT UP FUCKING SHUT UP. YOU CANT TAKE HER FROM ME. YOU CANT HURT HER. YOU CANT HURT ANNA. SHES BEAUTIFUL AND SHES PERFECT AND SHES MY LIFE. FUCK YOU FOR TALKING LIKE THAT YOU PIECE OF SHIT YOU WONT GET IN MY HEAD.
    Don’t hurt Anna or else.
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    [–]byteandahalf 1 point 9 hours ago
    It thinks about me, just as I do it. I’m sorry you must know why MY Anna does during her spare time (creepy, actually), but I won’t tell you.
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    [–]byteandahalf 1 point 9 hours ago
    😦 stop it
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    [–]byteandahalf 1 point 9 hours ago
    I’m not “thinking”. Anna is MINE. I have control over her and I like it that way. She’s my body. I love her desperately. You’re terribly jealous and I’m sorry.
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    [–]byteandahalf 1 point 9 hours ago
    I’m familiar with John Hinckley Jr. But I’m not him because he only longed desperately for what Anna Kendrick and I have💜
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    [–]byteandahalf 1 point 9 hours ago
    You’re wrong. So ha
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    [–]byteandahalf 1 point 9 hours ago
    Anna and I are connected in ways that you’re too simple to comprehend.
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    [–]byteandahalf 1 point 9 hours ago
    1/10 bad joke. She’s yummy and beautiful and perfect. She’s mouth-watering😍🙃 I know you’re just trying to fuck with me.
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    [–]byteandahalf 1 point 9 hours ago
    Oooooh, now I get it
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    [–]byteandahalf 1 point 9 hours ago
    I am not crazy. Nobody understands.
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    [–]byteandahalf 1 point 9 hours ago
    Never talk about Anna being ugly again, asshole. She’s…delicious😍
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    [–]byteandahalf 1 point 10 hours ago
    I am not interested in being Anna’s “boyfriend”. Anna is my soul mate. It’s a part of me. I have control over Anna and no boyfriend is every going to loosen my grip I have on its perfection.
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    [–]byteandahalf 1 point 10 hours ago
    It is always beautiful. It’s…perfect. I ♥️ Anna. Anna loves me. What don’t you get?
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    [–]byteandahalf 1 point 10 hours ago*
    That’s such a violation of my privacy, lmao. I’m only smiling because you know not what you’re talking about and I don’t want to reply angrily.
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    [–]byteandahalf 1 point 10 hours ago
    And what do you even mean “go after”..? I would never hurt Anna..
    permalinksavecontextfull comments (277)report

    ———————-

    /r/GenderCritical have found Buffalo Bill IRL. We should have heeded their warnings. by IAintThatGuy in Drama
    [–]byteandahalf 1 point 4 hours ago
    Jesus I am not John Hinckley Jr. He is a deranged man that committed a serious crime and pretended to have the bond Anna and I have l. He’s pathetic and only dreamed to have such a connection.
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    [–]byteandahalf 1 point 4 hours ago
    Think I love? I absolutely idolize her. She is an inanimate piece of my being. My therapist thinks the same thing you do. I’m fucking “bonkers”, but I’m working on getting her to understand that I’m not lying and I’m not crazy. And 🙄 here we go with the John Hinckley Jr. stuff. I didn’t shoot a president.
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    [–]byteandahalf 2 points 4 hours ago
    I’m not bonkers and I’m not a “career troll” whatever that is. You just don’t understand what Anna and I have and what she is to me. I wish you did. It’s something so unique that most people don’t get and I wish they did. We’re so attached.
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    [–]byteandahalf 2 points 4 hours ago
    Anna doesn’t like me talking to too many people. I just know she doesn’t. She gets easily jealous. So I do what she wants me to do, that’s all. Why do I even have to explain that to people?
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    [–]byteandahalf 2 points 4 hours ago
    I interact with plenty of humans.
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    [–]byteandahalf 2 points 4 hours ago
    How? How do I act that suggests a lack of friends?
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    [–]byteandahalf 2 points 4 hours ago*
    I won’t call the police, don’t worry. just don’t try and stalk my Anna. She’s being her beautiful self and she would be so mad at me if I told you where.
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    [–]byteandahalf 2 points 4 hours ago
    You’re a fucking stalker?
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    [–]byteandahalf 2 points 4 hours ago
    You just lost $10. I don’t live in my parents basement and I have a lot of friends, all of which understand my authority and control and don’t try and slight me.
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    [–]byteandahalf 2 points 4 hours ago
    Anna is not a human being. She is a perfect little body. A puppet I control. I love her so💜
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    [–]byteandahalf 2 points 4 hours ago
    I don’t think you get it. Anna Kendrick is an object which I possess. That’s my argument. Don’t touch my things or it’s a crime worth suing over. And I would.
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    [–]byteandahalf 2 points 4 hours ago
    I don’t need a lawyer, I can defend myself.
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    [–]byteandahalf 2 points 4 hours ago
    Larger than me? Ha, I don’t give a shit if his dick was made of magic. I do not compare myself to men because I have no interest in being one and I hate myself for being one. My only object of comparison is the almighty Anna Kendrick, and I live indebted to her. She is so far beyond me and I live only to impress her and make her happy. I love her.
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    [–]byteandahalf 1 point 4 hours ago
    They would be afraid to hurt Anna. I could legally take them to court for touching my belongings. People don’t tend to cross me because I’m very powerful.
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    [–]byteandahalf 2 points 5 hours ago
    Weinstein didn’t do anything. Nobody touches Anna.
    permalinksavecontextfull comments (277)report
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    [–]byteandahalf 2 points 5 hours ago
    John Hinckley Jr*
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    [–]byteandahalf 2 points 5 hours ago
    Every time I get chills or anxiety for seemingly no reason it’s because Anna is hurt. I feel her and she feels me, a bond nobody else is lucky enough to share.
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    [–]byteandahalf 2 points 5 hours ago
    I know that didn’t happen. I feel Anna’s pain because we’re emotionally connected. Therefore I would have known if she was hurting. Nice try.
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    [–]byteandahalf 1 point 5 hours ago
    Can you never fucking talk about Anna like that again? She’s a flawless creature.
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    [–]byteandahalf 1 point 5 hours ago
    I don’t know what that is.
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    [–]byteandahalf 0 points 8 hours ago
    You’re trying to mess with me so I’ll crack. That’s what you’re trying to do and frankly I find it funny(:
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    [–]byteandahalf 0 points 8 hours ago
    You’re trying to get into my head and I won’t let you (:
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    [–]byteandahalf 2 points 8 hours ago
    Doubt that I’m in control? Lol. You’re simple.
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    [–]byteandahalf 1 point 8 hours ago
    And STOP TALKING ABOUT HER VAGINA LIKE THAT. HER WOMANHOOD IS MINE AND YOURE A PIECE OF SHIT.
    And she didn’t say that. She doesn’t think I need help. She thinks YOURE DISGUSTING SHE TOLD ME SO FUCK YOURSELF
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    [–]byteandahalf 0 points 8 hours ago
    I don’t believe you.
    permalinksavecontextfull comments (277)report

    ———————

    • Fruitopia Says:

      Thank you for collecting all of this information.

      Dear god. He is completely and utterly deranged. He’s a serial killer in development. Anna Kendrick should get a restraining order. The way he dehumanises her by calling her it, and saying he controls “it”.

  2. Medi Says:

    Call the police, and women don’t go near this man!


    • I haven’t looked at that drama thread today, but yesterday, there were posters calling the GC posters terfs for talking about this and saying that this sicko isn’t really truly trans. And the sicko was saying that GC posters were inflicting him with TOTES REAL VIOLENCE.

      All of those things he said are just fine, but women talking about how frightening and sick his post was is violence??? What kind of man logicks is that?

      And he isn’t really trans? I thought that you are trans if you say so. Isn’t that how identity works? And he can still come into our private spaces, true trans or fake trans.

      • h54rth54jj Says:

        “As a side note, it’s impressive how TERFs managed to take this shit and turn it into a discussions about how evil men are (and how crazy trans people are) rather than being about, ya know, this particular psycho.

        TERFs are those kids who never got invited to sleepovers”

        They really don’t understand the problem, do they? Transgenderism is just a fucked up way of slapping a band-aid fix on serious mental illness issues related to body image that doesn’t actually address any of the underlying problems.


      • I am not sure if they are so ignorant that they don’t understand or if they are just so stupid that they actually believe that “transwomen” are male.

        Discussions about “transwomen” ARE discussions about males because all of those people ARE MALE.

        And a lot of males are evil and psycho. But males have trouble acknowledging facts, reality and truth for some reason that I can’t fathom.

      • Rosemary Says:

        Of course its women’s fault for speaking out. If this man goes to college next year, should his “identity” allow him access to a female dorm and female roommate? These same people saying “he’s not really trans” believe self-identification should be all it takes.

      • fmnst Says:

        From radfemspiraling,

        “And he isn’t really trans? I thought that you are trans if you say so. Isn’t that how identity works?”

        Lol. Brilliant.

        From h54rth54jj,

        “Transgenderism is just a fucked up way of slapping a band-aid fix on serious mental illness issues related to body image that doesn’t actually address any of the underlying problems.”
        .
        Again, brilliant.

        Interesting how this ties together both AGP in males, and FTMs seeking to avoid the further experience/pain of being objectified and/or sexually assaulted, as both being about body image issues.
        .
        I may well be over-simplifying, but in both AGP males, and FTMs, it seems that both are rooted in patriarchal objectification of female bodies.


  3. Can he be locked up in a high-security mental hospital right now? Please?

  4. Oak and Ash Says:

    His autogynephilia seems to be intertwined with a murder fetish. I thought his comments about Anna Kendrick and his fellow student were as horrific as anything I’d heard from a trans-identified male–and then he admitted he sometimes wants to hurt little girls!

    Thanks for posting his information. If some of us report his comments about young girls to his school when it reopens, maybe we can get him banned from the elementary bus at the very least. I’ll volunteer to get in touch with CV-TEC.

    • ephemeroptera Says:

      I had the same thought, @Oak and Ash: it definitely seems like textbook co-occurrence of paraphilias, with autogynephilia appearing alongside some sort of sadism.

      This November 2016 study that I summarized in an earlier comment on a different post seems like an important part of the conversation, about what might be happening erotically in this case:

      https://gendertrender.wordpress.com/2015/11/29/transwoman-stefonknee-wolscht-lives-life-as-a-six-year-old-girl/#comment-76242

      Unlike Stefonknee Wolscht, the target age/sex that this man’s attracted to seems to be adult women or women who appear just post-pubescent or maybe even pubescent (Anna Kendrick, his college student peers).

      I’m thinking that the elementary school girl thing might be an indirect outgrowth of AGP (desire for/envy of common experience of girlhood as part of later womanhood), rather than pre-pubescent girls as the primary erotic target per se?

      Overall, it seems like he primarily wants/imitates older women.

      On the other hand, to the extent that these older women look pubescent (that weird mainstream crossover between teens and adults like Britney Spears when she first appeared on the scene), and to the extent that that’s his target, this paper would predict some “spillover” attraction to the adjacent category of prepubescent females.

      • Oak and Ash Says:

        Actually, he gives the impression that his erotic target is not the women or girls themselves, but the idea of killing them–as in erotophonophilia–when he says he doesn’t want to see women suffer but would like to kill them in a way that he can watch the life going out of them without destroying their beauty.

        He’s dangerous, and I hope that counselor who “almost” called 911 is keeping a close eye on him. These ideas don’t seem like merely disturbing fantasies, but something bordering on a compulsion.

      • ephemeroptera Says:

        @Oak and Ash thanks for that distinction.

        Do you know any good starting points for current research and thinking on paraphilias like sadism (including varieties like erotophonophilia)?

        I had met some sexologists a few years ago and caught up on autogynephilia and pedophilia lit, but I never asked about sadism, and the research that I could identify online wasn’t all that recent or systematic.

        From what I read online on erotophonophilia in men, it still seems like there’s a desired target (which other recent lit describes as a general standard feature of male sexuality):

        http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0956797616677082

        “The most salient dimension of men’s sexual orientation is gender: attraction to males versus females. A second dimension is sexual maturity: attraction to children versus adults.”

        As a non-expert, this makes sense, since Jeffrey Dahmer was homosexual and killed teen and adult men, but this new case is in a heterosexual man who seems attracted to killing teen or adult women.

      • Oak and Ash Says:

        “Do you know any good starting points for current research and thinking on paraphilias like sadism (including varieties like erotophonophilia)?”

        I’ve read only casually about paraphilias, mostly on how they tend to co-occur (as part of cursory research into autogynephilia), so I don’t have any links to good, current sources. My reaction to reading this creep’s post was to wonder if there was such a thing as a murder fetish, and that’s how I found out about erotophonophilia.

        One concern I have is that the ubiquity of porn may be normalizing some of the more dangerous paraphilias, as shown by guys like this openly admitting to horrific inclinations. If you happen across any research on this, I wouldn’t mind seeing a link, and I’ll post links here if I find anything useful.

      • ephemeroptera Says:

        “One concern I have is that the ubiquity of porn may be normalizing some of the more dangerous paraphilias, as shown by guys like this openly admitting to horrific inclinations.”

        In a somewhat simar direction, I had been thinking about kink, and whether people with this guy’s turn-ons ever find somewhat healthier sexual outlets (e.g. BDSM partners who pretend to die, or something like that).

        Also, with paraphilias, it’s an intetesting dynamic where kink/BDSM can muddy the waters and be cultural sources of behavior, apart from anything innate. For example, according to Anne Lawrence, some furries are likely bestialists with an erotic target location error like autogynephilia (they want to resemble the animals that they love), but a straight male acquaintance in the kink community has suggested that at least a few furries are kinksters trying to do something weird/shocking.

        With this guy, murder fantasies are so extreme and detailed, it must be something innate, though it doesn’t seem reflected onto himself like his autogynephilia is.

        A recent Chicago gay sex murder involved suicide fantasies, so it seems like this erotophonophilia can also involve an erotic target location error just like autogynephilia:

        https://www.cbsnews.com/news/wyndham-lathem-oxford-professor-killed-boyfriend-sexual-fantasy-trenton-james-cornell-duranleau/

        It definitely seems to me like both of these murderers seemed to have that same murder/suicide fetish.

    • Lydia Says:

      I hope this person gets the help they need before someone gets hurt. This is more than autogynephilia or trans. I know a lot of crossdressers, and they get a turn on from wearing women’s clothes, not killing them! This person seems really dangerous to me. I’m concerned for any women who are near him.


  5. Jesus f*cking Christ! This boy’s terrifying!

  6. henrika85 Says:

    This guy is psychotic, as in clinically insane, and seems to harbor and cultivate murderous fantasies. He needs to be committed ASAP, or we’ll soon have another Ed Gein on our hands.

    • fmnst Says:

      kfb3

      Exactly. What the hell is wrong with his counselor? Is she some extreme trans sympathizer who thinks she is so gifted she can prevent this nut case from acting, by just continuing to provide him a compassionate ear to vent to? Does he have her wrapped around his finger?
      .
      He needs to be put on a psych hold, at bare minimum, immediately. He himself put it best: he’s a loaded gun. Who sounds like is so dangerous right now, he could and will go off at any moment, if he isn’t held somewhere immediately.
      .
      The scariest part, of many, to me was his writing that he’s not a John Hinkley because Hinkley was in love with a woman, whereas Anna Kendrik is a thing. Um, ok. He has reduced his object of obsession to a thing. He has no idea how much more dangerous that makes HIM sound.
      .
      Who knows how to contact Anna Kendrik’s publicist?
      .

  7. kfb3 Says:

    Holy shit! His counselor *almost* called 911??? This isn’t a question of if but WHEN he hurts someone. He needs to be put away for good!!!

  8. fxkatt Says:

    Eric Harris, the Columbine High mass murderer, grew up a couple miles form Ryan Terry. Harris’s father was an Air Force officer at the local base. I wonder if Terry has a similar military family background. The base has been closed down but many military guys still live in the area, especially in Peru, a town most known for apple orchards and football.

    If not, I wonder how Ryan got his hands on deSade or one of the many literary figures whose writings were influenced by him.

    If not, perhaps he’s a Creature of the trans movement itself which, unfortunately, has obviously reached this backwater village in an isolated rural region of New York.

    In any case, his next residence should be just up the road a piece in Dannemora Prison.

  9. Margie Says:

    That was incredibly disturbing to read. Very specific in his “fantasies” and directed towards specific, real individuals. The idea of him riding on an elementary school bus is insane. BTW, this is a heterosexual male with violent thoughts, but he plasters the rainbow flag on his twitter, and if he should ever harm anyone, the media will report that “a woman” did it.

    Gallus, you have performed a public service in exposing this psycho.

  10. rheapdx1 Says:

    Damn……..John Hinckley via Buffalo Bill and Norman Bates. And yet, he is not brought in or for that matter given the NYS version of a ‘5150’.

    I will bet anything, that this person is also a hard core gamer, along with the strong detachment from the real world. This goes hand in hand with the ‘Duper’s Delight’ grimace/stare/visage. [which is a great look, if one wants to be an extra in a horror film].

    @fxkatt Dannemora would be too nice for this punk. So would Attica, Sing-Sing ….but put him in Riker’s. That would be better.

  11. Heidi Says:

    have the police been notified?

  12. Henry Wimbush Says:

    When I read this on reddit, I half suspected that this was black propaganda by a radical feminist! Surely no TIM would reveal himself to be a deranged homicidal autogynephile?

    This is the least disturbing part of his story, but also revealing of something that I notice in many trans accounts:
    “Skins softens, breasts grow, the usual. I haven’t yet crossed the line of looking in the mirror and feeling blissfully at ease.”

    How many women feel blissfully at ease when they look in the mirror? 5%, 1%, 0.1%?(How many men? 10%?) It’s part of the human condition to be less attractive than we wish to be, and cross-sex hormones aren’t going to change that.


  13. “With that being said, I loved watching Anna Kendrick being killed in Voices. I re-watched her break her neck and lay in bed in her lovely dress helplessly at least five times. That’s where my fantasies center around. I want girls like her to be hurt. Badly. I often subdue bouts of painful dysphoria with more powerful thoughts of hurting the girl who caused it…

    The worst thoughts are those of hurting little girls. When I ride the elementary bus home from my school, I am bombarded by fun little kids that all love me because I’m often the only high-schooler, and rather funny. I almost always find myself on these trips home to be fixated on a young girl on the bus. ”

    This is frightening. He will go off on a woman or a girl. He is already harassing women, texting women he doesn’t even know saying crazy things.

    “Needless to say, my counselor, whom is otherwise very supportive of me, was concerned to say the least and almost had to call 911.”

    He has some serious mental health issues and he fantasizes about harming women. Why isn’t he in a psych ward somewhere? Mental health professionals have a legal obligation to protect the public and report anyone who might be a danger to others. Does his counselor know about all his fantasies of harming girls and women. He clearly resents women, and sees them as some kind of threat.

    People need to realize that transwomen are, in fact, male, and have killed, tortured, and raped women. Hell, yes, transwomen (males) kill women.

    Keep in mind that serial killer of women Douglas, “Donna”, Perry hated women too. One of his cellmates testified that the reason he killed women was jealousy. He was envious of them being able to have children and families. Below is just a small sample of transwomen who have have murdered, tortured, or raped women.

    https://gendertrender.wordpress.com/2017/06/29/guilty/

    https://gendertrender.wordpress.com/2016/11/16/transgender-activist-dana-rivers-arrested-for-brutal-murder-of-lesbian-couple-and-their-son/

    https://gendertrender.wordpress.com/2014/12/17/kosilek-ruling-overturned/

    https://gendertrender.wordpress.com/2013/04/09/into-the-mind-of-kosilek-graces-daughter-a-book-review/

    https://gendertrender.wordpress.com/2014/08/22/laverne-cox-launches-media-campaign-in-support-of-transwoman-synthia-china-blast-convicted-for-the-rape-murder-and-abuse-of-the-corpse-of-thirteen-year-old-ebony-nicole-williams/

    https://gendertrender.wordpress.com/tag/richard-masbruch/

    “Ryan Terry was chosen to serve as Student Ambassador for the Champlain Valley CV-TEC community for 2017-2018.”

    Why does an adult male with repeated fantasies of harming girls and women even working with students? Just what the school wanted, a “Student Ambassador” with repeated fantasies of harming women. This scary ding bat calls himself a “right wing liberal hybrid, LGBT advocate.” A lot of transgender activists have been charged with murdering women. A former UC Berkeley queer student union activist, Pablo Gomez Jr., is on trial in Berkeley for murdering one woman and attempted murder of another woman. Isn’t he in the same jail as Dana Rivers, the trans activist on trial for triple homicide?

    By the way, virtually all school shooters are males from about 17 to age 30.

    And, when he does go off on a girl or women, it’s a safe bet that every trans run LGBTQIA will go out of their way to keep his crime out of the media. Or, they will say that a “woman” committed the crime, or some other bullsh**. Look at how trans/queer run LGBTQIA organizations buried the Dana Rivers triple homicide case. Not a peep out of LGBTQIA groups, and the few that covered this ghastly triple homicide said that a “woman” was charged with the the murders.

    Unfortunately, women are going to see more men like Ryan, and we are called “transphobic” bigots for saying these are dangerous males. There are hundreds, if not thousands, of men out there just like Ryan Terry.

    His therapist should be notified and updated, and the school should keep a close eye on him.

    • juno jones Says:

      As someone who guilt reads true crime stuff, a perusal of murderpedia reveals that not only are the most sordid murderers are overwhelmingly male, but a huge number of them cross dressed, often in their victim’s clothing. Gein is famous, But how many know Dennis Rader (BTK) took ‘sexy’ photos of himself in his victim’s underwear?

      • Rosemary Says:

        Joseph Edward Duncan (kidnapper and serial killer of children) was also an erotic cross dresser/autogynephile. As was Richard Speck (who killed 8 student nurses in Chicago in the 60’s). I wonder how prevalent this is in violent men who harm women?

      • Oak and Ash Says:

        I’ve read that those convicted of sexual crimes are more likely than not to have some sort of paraphilia–often more than one– and that the most common tends to be cross-dressing, so this isn’t at all surprising.

        What is surprising–not to mention galling!–is that we’re expected to treat these creeps as harmless little puppy dogs, share our private spaces with them, and defer to them as more oppressed than we are.

      • petuniacat00 Says:

        I did not know that about BTK. Canadian serial killer in the military, caught about five years ago? I cannot remember his name and I have to get off the computer, he also stole women’s underwear and dressed in it and took pictures of himself. And did that for a while, breaking into their homes, before he started killing them.

      • Riffraff Says:

        @petuniacat00

        It was (David) Russell Williams. I had to look it up myself since all I remembered were the godawful panty photos some true crime docu burned into my brain.

      • juno jones Says:

        @riffraff

        I know. I was trying to think of his namē but had no desire to look at those pics again to find out…

  14. Jennifer Says:

    I have been saying this all along: these guys are potential serial killers and pedophiles. It’s part of the transgender mental illness. Don’t interact with them and warn others not to.

  15. Bev Jo Says:

    As horrifying as he is, a lot of what he’s said, we’ve read before, like when the trannies whine that they never had the “pink princess bedroom,” “ballet lessons,” etc. that real girls got. Clearly they have no idea the abuse and horror most girls go through. But he’d probably be envious of that too, as a sado-masochist thrill.

    The arrogance and entitlement is astounding.

    The comments here are a relief, but I’m imagining echoes of other women claiming he must have suffered terribly to be like this, poor boy, etc. PLEASE women, everywhere, care more for the victims of the trans cult than for our oppressors.

    “I didn’t want to actually hurt her, I usually don’t. I always imagine girls’ deaths to be gentle, so as to not disturb their natural beauty. I don’t want to harm them, I just want their life to end. Normally in these fantasies I pinch their nose shut and cover their mouth so I can watch them fade so elegantly at my own gentle hands. It’s not about making them not beautiful anymore. It’s about taking the life from them. I want to reduce their beauty to just a corpse because their life isn’t fair. I want to caress them in my arms and carefully tighten a rope around their neck so they can look at me when I take their soul. I want to feel their final breaths. I want to release the life from their body so I can have the shell. The beautiful shell.”

    He needs to be reported and locked up. But I suspect most of them are like this. When you disagree slightly or say no in any way, they show how much they hate all females. I just wish all women would see it.

    • Oak and Ash Says:

      “As horrifying as he is, a lot of what he’s said, we’ve read before, like when the trannies whine that they never had the “pink princess bedroom,” “ballet lessons,” etc. that real girls got. Clearly they have no idea the abuse and horror most girls go through.”

      Most of these guys want to be storybook women and have no more clue of what a real woman’s life is like than a four-year-old who’s obsessed with Disney princesses–and, honestly, even less than some girls that age. They don’t grow up being treated as biologically inferior, having men objectify them before they’re out of chlidhood, and fearing rape and pregnancy once they reach adolescence. Most of us do not grow up being treated as princesses.

      Those of us who post here may vary in age, sexual orientation, ethnicity, class background, and I know we don’t always see everything the same way, but as women we share common experiences that are invisible to these guys. On some level I think they realize that, which is why they insist biology is irrelevant to being female–because they can only claim womanhood if it’s some sort of mystical feeling. If womanhood is a reality, at best, they’re pathetic and delusional.

  16. Elisabeth Brook Says:

    I can’t believe this psychotic man is allowed to roam the streets!

  17. Concerned Says:

    Sorry, I meant the information is found here. http://archive.is/shPUa

    • GallusMag Says:

      Oh.My.God. According to this he was investigated by the FBI two years ago for threatening to do a school shooting…

    • Fruitopia Says:

      It’s interesting that the posters on thread are already aware that he’s “pride driven”. Even at 15-16 years old, he was a blatant selfish narcisssist.


  18. Hopefully, he’ll be in Attica in a few years.

    • Dextersarmy Says:

      If he ends up there it will only be because he has killed some women or girl.

      Better he kills himself ASAP.


    • He will go to a women’s prison.

      Texas has been putting males in female prisons for a while. The organisation that is defending the ladymen and their “right” to be housed in a female prison is the head of a lesbian organization. She claims that the women that are being harassed and threatened by the males are just being transphobic liars.

      • michelle Says:

        This is NOT entirely a correct statement.

        Texas does NOT house someone packing tackle in a female facility. There are PLENTY of TIM’s in male facilities around the State. The most noted of the very small handful of males who had undergone complete surgical intervention before being arrested died some years back (Gelabert).

        I know of one FIM that was afforded the opportunity to be housed in a male facility and declined after learning that they would be in a single-cell, segregated environment for their safety.


      • I’m not sure you’re right about Texas jails. I noted an alarming story about Fort Worth prison last year. Women prisoners were complaining about intact males expressing sexual desire for them in the showers and elsewhere. They were being exposed to men in situations where escape wasn’t possible. http://www.star-telegram.com/news/local/community/fort-worth/article134353039.html

      • michelle Says:

        That issue in Fort Worth is FEDERAL. That is NOT the Texas Department of Criminal Justice. Sadly, the feds did whatever Obummer told them to do and he wanted the tranny contingent molly-coddled.

        The Texas prison system, on the other hand, does NOT place intact males with females. Period. Full stop. Even that nutcase Masbruch that California put with women was housed in a male facility while in Texas.

        When discussing these issues, it is important to be precise or else it becomes easier for the agencies catering to the TIMs to ignore the push back. I know some will claim this is simply semantics, but as with all things legal (which this is), one MUST be precise in stating the claim or grievance.

  19. Joan Appleton Says:

    Firstly, No matter how much this male identifies as female; HE remains a male, and judging from his screwed and dangerous fantasies, extremely troubled.
    He has yet to realise that the agencies supporting his fantasies are earning huge amounts of money; hence the support for trans. When is this going to be acknowledged as the truth. Gender is after all, a kind of fantasy of itself!
    The man appears is very disturbed—-


  20. Why do so many autogynephiles look so strikingly masculine? Ryan Terry’s whole facial structure won’t allow him to ever pass as a woman. Those heavy brow ridges, nose, jaw… Is there some connection between that archetypically male appearance and autogynephilia?

    • Anemone Says:

      Paraphilias in general are a masculine trait. Sometimes they go away when men take female hormones, then come back when they go off the hormones again. I wish it worked that way for all of them – then we’d have an easy treatment. (Source: Men trapped in men’s bodies by Anne Lawrence, iirc).

    • henrika85 Says:

      I’ve thought the exact same thing more than once. This guy is (apparently) only 18 and already his hairline is about to reach the back of his neck.

      • Dixiechick Says:

        High testosterone levels are also linked to hair loss.

      • kesher Says:

        So many MTTs look old as hell. This dude looks like he’s in his 30s.

      • Branjor Says:

        About MTTs (men) looking so old: This reminds me of an 18 year old guy I started college with – not MTT as far as I know – who looked more like a short, fat, dumpy, balding middle aged man. He always wore a wrinkled white shirt with a bow tie and, in cooler weather, a derby hat. I’m not kidding. I know this is not typical for 18 year old guys.

    • Leo Says:

      Maybe? While it’s obviously not only testosterone the cause and socialisation has a heck of a lot to do with it, higher testosterone seems linked to both such a ‘masculine’ appearance, and to violent behaviour.


    • And the obsession with Kendrick! Just so weird! Kendrick is possibly the tiniest, most petite actress currently working in Hollywood. I mean, think about it: they have women of Amazon height in Hollywood now; they have plus-size models and capable women playing super-heroes on all these cable shows (who clearly have been working out)… etc etc… but WHO is he obsessed with? A tiny-framed, 5’2″ woman who can still play high school girls in her 30s, is who.* Gross!

      Talk about setting yourself up for failure. Like Audrey Hepburn, one must be *born that size* and the vast majority of women aren’t. Yet he seems to think all the little girls he meets will grow up to be just like Kendrick and these other popular, pretty girls he obsesses over.

      Delusional and frightening. I hope an adult who crosses paths with him reading this, will step in and try to help. I think direct intervention is the only thing that can help such a deranged person, if that even works.

      *Clarification: I like Kendrick and this is NOT meant as any put-down, simply noting she has played high school girls since she actually was one, which hardly anybody can do. (And she totally stole the film “Up in the Air”–from the big-star leads, again, something hardly anyone can do)… for this reason I find I am highly concerned for her safety, as others here have said. 😦

      • Dixiechick Says:

        Why the obsession with tiny women? Porn. I won’t post any of it here but there are all kinds of references to ‘tiny’ women in porn. I’ve not looked at it but I assume since there’s so much of it it must be a big thing. And it’s always about brutalizing the tiny woman so yeah, it makes a crazy kind of sense that a man who hates women yet is aroused by the notion of being a woman would choose one more likely to be “destroyed” by a “monstrous” penis.


      • I think smaller women make easier targets, too.

        As we age, we become invisible. I am close to 50 and I still get harassed frequently by males. And it ain’t because I am sexy. I am convinced that it is because I am small. Small women appear to be easy to grab and physically overtake.

        I would tear into a fucker like a spidermonkey on a cupcake. But I appear to be an easy target because of my size.


  21. He will never look like Anna Kendrick. Bottom line. He will therefore always be jealous, and will always be a threat to the women he can’t successfully impersonate… or even resemble.

    They made Lindsey Lohan wear an ankle bracelet, and this guy is far more dangerous than she ever was. I say, clap that thing on his leg NOW; obviously, we need to track his every move.

    Thanks for finding Buffalo Bill, Gallus… probably lots more where he came from.

    • Medi Says:

      I hope someone is publicizing this guy to the parent’s association of the school he’s riding on the bus to. This info should be shared with parents of that community. This needs to be put out into the open and the school girls need to be warned about this guy before he does do something violent.

    • Riffraff Says:

      Agreed. They can start tracking these freaks like nuisance bears.

  22. Y'oma Says:

    JFC that’s horrifying. No man who thinks this way, not just in passing but in a consistent & detailed way is safe for any woman to be around. Ever.

  23. juno jones Says:

    Thank you for saving this Gallus. It is my impression it got taken down very quickly- certainly in the twenty minutes or so it took me to get to work. I was hoping it wouldn’t go down the memory hole.

    Wishing you a good new year’s. 🙂

  24. Rae Says:

    I am not an American so I don’t know what systems are in place, but surely there’s a crime stoppers or a tips website or something this could be reported to? His behaviour is only going to escalate.

  25. Dextersarmy Says:

    He is thoroughly insane and dangerous.
    This is when we need a covert group of women that defend the rest of us from these kind of maniacs. For real. Why wait until he has a body count? You all know full well the law won’t do anything until *after* he harms or kills- and then only if they can catch him, and only if the judges even bother to properly charge him. Hell, most of the men running the “justice” system probably get off to porn w the same sick ideas.

    • Y'oma Says:

      And even if that all happens and he’s convicted he’ll demand to go to a woman’s prison because of his feelz and how much more important they are than protecting yet more women from his jealous psychotic rage.

  26. GallusMag Says:

    Update:

    Various people have reported Ryan Terry’s post via email, tweet, or phone message to

    local police
    state police
    crimestoppers hotlines
    the FBI
    school administrators
    local media
    national media

    Thank you to everyone working on this. Your actions may have saved a life.

    I haven’t heard of any response back from any of these reports yet, but it’s possible they would not be made public for various reasons.

    People can leave a comment that STARTS OUT WITH the phrase “Not For Publication” (or similar) if they would prefer to leave an anonymous update and I will relay the information for them.

    Ryan interacted with reddit commenters on all three threads discussing his post for over 24 hours. His account was not anonymous and was linked to his name and hosted his photos. He next deleted his photos as redditors began commenting on them. Eventually his reddit account was deleted. It is unknown if he deleted it, or if administrators did so. Several redditors had reported his post to administrators. The last comment from him that I saw before his account was deleted was a message stating that he was actively seeking help and was on the phone with his therapist. This occurred several hours after GenderTrender began publicly discussing his post here.

    Ryan also locked his twitter account (set it to “private”) at that time.

    As noted in comments above, it has subsequently been discovered that Ryan Terry has apparently been previously investigated by authorities in 2015 for threats of a potential school shooting. This incident was reported in local media by reporter Ashleigh Livingston (alivingston@pressrepublican.com) of the Press Republican but Terry, then a minor, was not named.

    Any further updates will be posted here as they occur.

  27. Henry Wimbush Says:

    Excellent work, GallusMag!

    Now I wonder if he really was taking female hormones, as he claimed. The pictures of him don’t suggest any kind of ‘feminine’ presentation. He didn’t even choose a female reddit name. His screed focused on harming women rather than on the pleasures of lingerie and makeup–it seems to lack telltale signs of autogynephilia.

    I suspect that 20 years ago he would have wanted to kill prostitutes to carry out God’s will. Now he interprets his sexually motivated murderous rage against women through a transgender rather than religious lens, which is why he posted on asktransgender.

    Nevertheless he is the reductio ad absurdum for self-identification (he can use women’s toilets if he feels like it) and for affirmative therapy (he must be given hormones and surgery without question).

    • GallusMag Says:

      It takes years for estrogen to start having any notable effect on men’s appearance. (Priming the body with blockers which starve the body for sex hormones does seem to create a boosting effect according to some medical practitioners). Of course testosterone causes immediate effects in women.

      • henrika85 Says:

        Technically speaking, from a medical perspective, a body that has been virilized (first time in utero, second time during male puberty) cannot be “de-virilized”. This means that male features that have developed will not go away, even if the body’s own production of testosterone is halted, either by chemical means or surgery.

        Of course, as you pointed out, this also applies to females who take exogenous androgens; once they have done so, their morphology will forever be that of a masculinized female. To regain a female outward appearance, female “detransitioners” will need surgical procedures, such as electrolysis and facial feminization surgery, etc. It’s horrifying.

  28. elizabeth Says:

    Ryan Terry: A serial killing waiting to happen Like Douglas Perry.


  29. Upsetting to read this person’s hate for women. Wow!

  30. Steve H Says:

    Meanwhile, another example of the tranny madness being foisted on women: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5224421/NHS-apologises-woman-allocated-transsexual-nurse.html

    • Medi Says:

      The main this is for women to make their complaints about this shoddy health care treatment, and total disregard of their requests for women nurses . There is no way on hell I would ever hire a male massage therapist, for example. No way in hell I would ever even have an intimate medical stuff done on my body by men, and with the massive porn viewing of men, and the horror that male doctors do to female patients, maybe if women protest loudly, and report the men with stubble beards— the vast majority might tell these men to get the hell away.

      I don’t know what it is going to take for women to wake up, and get real about the male to trans delusions, but no woman should ever have to deal with a deluded male in a medical situation.

      • Nonny Says:

        Don’t wanna derail buuuut related to this sub-thread: my new year’s resolution is: no strange male hands on me whenever I can help it. Gynos, docs, tattoos, any masseuse, whatever. Related: I have to read lots for school but want to keep my leisure reading composed of all women authors this year 😀 For mental health and woman love!!

  31. Medi Says:

    Year end mediation on future serial killers—-hope the police really take this stuff seriously for once.

  32. Margie Says:

    Just wanted to wish Gallus and everybody a Happy New Year!

    Also, here’s a story which I just saw on PinkNews (a formerly gay newsite, which is now completely transjacked). A UK woman went in for a pap smear test and was assigned a male nurse. When she objected, he told her that he was trans. She fled and NHS later apologized.

    http://www.

    pinknews.co.uk/2017/12/31/nhs-apologises-for-allocating-trans-nurse-for-smear-test/

    • Oak and Ash Says:

      And, of course, Twitterverse TiMs are saying the woman was “abusive” to the nurse by refusing to be examined by him, even though he was officially employed as a male. Because men would never claim women’s denial of intimate contact is abuse.*

      *When MRAs insist that women and men abuse each other at about equal rates, it’s in large part because men include refusal to perform domestic, emotional, or sexual labor as abuse. In other words, they’ll say they’ve been “abused” and when asked for a description, complain their wife/girlfriend wouldn’t have sex when they wanted, cook meals, or be nice to them. This explains the attitudes of many TiMs.


  33. More insanity! Happy new year, yall.

    Australian trans was refused brazilian wax and now claims emotional trauma:

    http://www.starobserver.com.au/news/salon-that-refused-trans-woman-waxing-stands-by-its-decision/151326

    (The entire room hooted when I read that aloud and I was accused of making it up. I actually had to show it to everybody.)

    • Mary M Says:

      That certainly brightened up my day.. the frowny grumpy face is the best bit. Don’t you just hate it when women refuse to touch your lady penis!

  34. psibernaut Says:

    the paedophilic Scottish serial killer Robert Black is another that used to force his oversized frame into clothes & underwear from his victims

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Black_(serial_killer)

    At the age of five, Black and a girl the same age compared their genitalia, triggering a childhood belief within Black that he should have been born female…

    Black freely discussed his early sexual experiences, his experimentation with various forms of self-abuse, and his attraction towards young children; he also described his penchant for wearing young girls’ clothing

  35. Medi Says:

    A man with a penis expects women to service him…. Brazilian wax and all. I knew I could count on this blog to provide the perfect hilarity for the new year.

  36. Medi Says:

    Branjor, yeah female to trans look fat dumpy and balding– I was surprised when they told me they were in their early 30! Male to trans, the plug uglies deluded into thinking they pass as women. Over 6 feet tall, thumping and flouncing around— very drag queenish…. a man with a stubble beard gets called a female nurse and on and on the craziness continues….

    • Margie Says:

      Wow! That article is from 1998. This information about him being an autogynephilic transgender has been out there for 20 years, but I had never heard it. The Unabomber’s wikipedia page says nothing about it. I wonder if any other media covered it.

  37. Mary M Says:

    Here in Scotland, we are as usual plunging headfirst or should I say sleepwalking into this craziness. A consultation paper has been issued by the Scottish Government regarding proposed legislation to amend the GRA to allow self declaration for transgenders. The consultation period ends in March 2018. I’ve been scouring the internet for any sign of organised feminist resistance to this and can find none. I plan to go through the consultation paper and put in a response – although it seems to me that it is comprised of “closed questions” with a very limited range that would make it difficult to respond properly and address the real issues.
    I was talking to my Mum about this (she is an old timer feminist who campaigned and marched in the National Abortion campaign in the early seventies). Like myself she had drunk the kool aid and bought into the myth of the oppressed transgenders, who just want to be left in peace to do their own thing. (Although, that said, I never felt really comfortable with it or the notion of a “woman trapped in a mans body” what the fuck does that mean, or the obsession with clothes, hair, makeup, so shallow). When I explained to her the actual consequences of this legislation – that it has given disordered males the rights to enter female spaces, that crimes are now being falsely recorded as committed by women, that lesbians are being bullied into having sex with men, because these men say they are women, etc etc etc, she was absolutely horrified. She had had no idea and I don’t think most women do.
    Those women who say they welcome M2t into Hampstead Ladies Pond- I don’t think they all realise that they are MEN. They may well not have had surgery, or hormone treatment, or psychiatric evaluation. Not just any men either, but men with a weird sexual fetish and a lot of issues with anger and jealousy against women. (Actually that describes a lot of men, not just M2t). It’s winter now and there won’t be many outdoor swimmers, but come summer they’re going to have a serious problem. These guys are just not going to pass up on the opportunity to perve on women and stick their genitalia in their faces. It’s really, really sad.
    I feel too for the Muslim women who will be forced out of the few services and facilities that are available to them.
    Once I have studied the consultation paper, and put in a response, I intend to lobby my MSP s. I think my Mum will want to do this too. Although this upsets her so much, she shouldn’t have more shit to worry about at her age! This isn’t the future she envisioned for us all as a 1970s feminist. At all. If there is anyone else in Scotland who is, or is interested in, campaigning on this issue it would be great to know they’re out there.
    Cheers

    • Oak and Ash Says:

      @Mary M

      Welcome to the ranks of the awakened.

      There are, in fact, feminists in the UK who care about amending the GRA. If you haven’t found Magdalen Berns (who is in Edinborough, I believe, despite her accent) on Youtube and Twitter, I’d suggest looking for her videos and tweets as a source of encouragement. Likewise, the Twitter streams of Victoria Smith (aka Glosswitch), Skepticat UK, and Miranda Yardley (who is trans but doesn’t believe the GRA should be amended) will help locate other allies. if you’re looking for organized resistance, Judith Green has recently started a group called Woman’s Place UK. You can read an interview with her on Feminist Current (another excellent resource for information on these issues).

      http://www.feministcurrent.com/2017/11/28/judith-green-gender-recognition-act-fight-womens-sex-based-rights-uk/

      In fact, just this morning I saw a retweet from Skepticat mentioning an event in Glasgow next Wednesday for those concerned about the GRA.

      https://www.eventbrite.com/e/we-need-to-talk-about-the-gra-glasgow-tickets-39786635899?ref=eios&aff=eios

      Good luck!

      • Mary M Says:

        Thank you! I’d already found Magdalen Berns and have been binge watching her videos. I’m about 1.5 hours from Glasgow and will see if I can get to that event on Wednesday. Though I have no desire to get beaten up by a load of trans women. I am aware of Stuart Waiton – one of the speakers – who seems to be a misogynist. He blogged on Scottish Legal News about the damages action brought by a rape victim against two footballers (one of whom was called Goodwillie!) . He was outraged that anyone should be able to bring – and win- a civil action where the rapists hadn’t been convicted in the criminal courts. Apparently it has had a negative affect on their careers.

      • Mary M Says:

        http://www.scottishlegal.com/2017/11/10/consultation-launched-on-expediting-transgender-recognition/ His criticisms of the proposed legislation relate to “trans gender children”.


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