Gay Drag Performer Ejected From Philly Fundraiser Because His Appearance Made Straight Male “Uncomfortable”

June 11, 2018

Brandon “Lily” Kulp, male lesbian. [from twitter]

Win Win Coffeeshop in Philadelphia denied public accommodations to a popular gay male Drag performer scheduled to host a fundraiser in their establishment because a straight male employee was “uncomfortable” with his gender-bending appearance. Spoiler alert: The heterosexual male identifies as transgender.

 

Win Win Coffeeshop bans gay men in drag

From Philly Voice:

“Management at Win Win Coffee Bar, 931 Spring Garden St., says it had no idea Aunt Mary Pat would be performing at their establishment. The shop asked Mary Pat to leave after a transgender employee was offended, a move that’s caused social media backlash against the coffee shop and a subsequent flood of negative reviews.

The employee says the character is transphobic, but the performer believes he is being unfairly judged.

Aunt Mary Pat is performed by Troy Hendrickson. The 30-year-old Delaware (not Delaware County) resident has gained plenty of attention for his impression of a suburban Philly mom with a thick accent and biting attitude, producing plenty of viral videos, such as Mary Pat’s angry reaction to missing the Eagles Super Bowl parade to work a shift at Acme.

Hendrickson has brought his character on the road, doing shows across the Philly region. On Wednesday evening, he was scheduled to host karaoke at Win Win for Soroptimist International of Rittenhouse Square, an organization that works on improving the lives of women and girls.

Hendrickson said he got to the event and was greeted by an organizer from Soroptimist International. About five to 10 minutes later, a manager spoke to the event organizer, and eventually pulled Hendrickson aside, too.

“What he said was I had made one of their employees uncomfortable by my appearance,” Hendrickson said he was told. “The employee was transgender and my appearance was offensive.”

Hendrickson said he offered to speak to the employee and explain the character was not mocking transgender people; he told PhillyVoice that Mary Pat is a heterosexual, cisgender woman.

The manager went and talked to the employee, came back and said it would be best if Hendrickson left.

The employee, Lily Kulp, told PhillyVoice that no matter how Hendrickson characterizes his performance, it is a mockery of transgender women. She said transgender women spend a lot of money on procedures during their transitions, and to have that publicly made light of is “not OK.”

Kulp clarified that she does’t take issue with drag performances in general, but believes Hendrickson’s performance in particular is “gross and transphobic.”

She  didn’t want to speak to Hendrickson, she said, because his interaction with the manager indicated to Kulp that Hendrickson wasn’t going to take her concerns seriously. Kulp said she had already worked six hours and often gets misgendered at work.

“I guess like my issue is my feelings were belittled by this person,” Kulp said. “I didn’t want to engage with this person, who was already rejecting what [the manager] was saying.”


Hendrickson briefly posted about the incident on Facebook and the gay community and allies responded by flooding the Win Win Coffeeshop Facebook and Yelp pages with negative reviews.

From PhillyMag:

“The employee, Lily Kulp, says she was “infuriated” once she became aware that DiSabatino — a queer cis-gender male whose real name is Troy David Hendrickson — was set to perform as part of an event benefitting Soroptimist International at the Spring Garden coffee shop’s monthly Queer + Feminist Karaoke showcase.

After she spoke of her discomfort to her manager, Kulp says, Henderickson was told that he could not perform, at which point a verbal confrontation ensued. “[Henderickson] was extremely rude when told by my manager that I was offended by his persona. He made it a point to say he wasn’t transphobic and kept saying that the situation was ridiculous.”

————

Lily Kulp, real name Brandon Kulp, also goes by the name(s) Lilith Kulp, Princess Trinity, Shimantha Jones, and RealGirl420. He imagines himself to be a male lesbian, specifically “an indigenous trans butch”, according to his e-begging account.  

Kulp’s online fundraiser

You can enjoy Brandon’s contributions to Autogynephile culture here:

https://www.seafoammag.com/blog/art-poetry-by-lilith-kulp

https://www.instagram.com/shimanthajones/

*https://twitter.com/RealGirl420

You can read an account of his previous “activism” here:

https://reporter.rit.edu/leisure/rochester-slut-walk-and-questionable-morality-white-feminism

 

44 Responses to “Gay Drag Performer Ejected From Philly Fundraiser Because His Appearance Made Straight Male “Uncomfortable””

  1. unabashed Says:

    Read about his “activism.” While I am not a fan of Slutwalk, it seems this particular Slutwalk was more Take Back the Night than Slutwalk, which is to say, focused on the stories of actual rape survivors, most of whom are women.

    Somehow this news article became half about this man, shaming the women for not letting him speak about sexual assault despite never having experienced it. The writer of the article joins in on this, and an article about sexual assault against women somehow becomes a hit piece against the organizers of this Slutwalk for contributing to the “violent genocide” being perpetrated as we speak against trans women.

    Clearly, crude jokes, being misgendered, and being told “wow that’s cool!” while explaining your complicated gender identity is on par with being tricked by your husband’s friend and then raped in a graveyard and threatened with being buried alive in a freshly dug grave, and then beaten and called a “whore” by your husband when you tell him, and then belittled and dismissed by the police who tell you that you’re lying, and then finding out a long time later when it’s nearly too late that you’ve contracted HIV from the rape.

    Totally the same thing.

    (Why haven’t I started a gofundme yet for some fancy treatment for my PTSD, like EMDR? I wonder why it is that poor people with mental illnesses and disorders other than narcissism don’t start gofundmes to get the much-needed care that would help them)?


  2. I always feel sorry for the cat.

  3. lisbrook Says:

    And, it only gets more and more ridiculous.

  4. Rosemary Says:

    Why is a gay man doing “impressions” of women performing for “an organization that works on improving the lives of women and girls”?

    I bet if an actual female objected to this, her manager would tell her to get a sense of humor and be a better ally to gay men.

    Yet, when an M2T makes it all about him and his feelings and his fragile identity, people leap into action.

  5. Rosemary Says:

    Someone linked this “article” in the fb thread. Wtf.

    https://www.them.us/story/how-drag-queens-turned-against-the-trans-community

  6. Mary M Says:

    Man in dress complains that man in dress makes people think that men in dresses are men in dresses.
    (shoeless joe, suspended from Twitter for that kind of “hate speech”

    • rlkittiwake Says:

      But the one man wearing a dress spent a lot more money than the other man wearing a dress, so it’s offensive to compare the two.

      Because a barista is obviously in a position to throw class-based shade on another person.

  7. Bob Doublin Says:

    As the months go by,it just gets more obvious that, by far, the major reason the trans get so upset about drag queens is because drag gives the whole show away.(Lets the cat out of the bag and shows it’s a Tom as Mary Daly once said. Anyone remember in what book?,please) There really is no objective physical difference between the two.

    • Riffraff Says:

      Absolutely.

      Secondary to that, I think there’s an element of envy. Whatever your feelings about drag, many of these performers put a lot of work into their characters and become popular to degrees these greasy Lurch-looking manchildren can only dream of. People are willing to play along because it’s presented as actual play and thus low stress, and the narcissistic shits haaaaaate that.

      • petuniacat00 Says:

        Yep. Also the drag queens either actually are or appear to be having fun. That’ll get the envy fire stoked. Eventually it’s going to come out like 90% of these trans women in total, and especially making public fusses, are sexual fetishists. And the people who are supporting them now are going to FREAK! They’ll complain that they were lied to, ignoring the fact that whenever anyone tried to tell them this is what it was they were dismissed as bigots.

      • T Eubie Tryppin Says:

        Drag queens have a sense of humor and are in on the joke.

        Trans is a humour-free zone – always.


  8. @ Mary

    “Man in dress complains that man in dress makes people think that men in dresses are men in dresses.”

    That about sums it up.

    I think this whole sad situation is rather pathetic, and there was no excuse to insult this gay man. So, there was a Queer + Feminist Karaoke fundraiser at this tacky coffee bar. A male who says he is a “trans butch” WTF ever that means pitched a hissy fit because the very existence of a male drag performer hurt his special trans feelings.

    Queer and Karaoke, God what a mess that must be. No one should have to suffer through that, unless they are so drunk they don’t care what happens.

    Why on earth would Soroptomist International have an event that says “Queer”? Queer is a curse upon the female sex, and it doesn’t have anything to do with feminism.

    “The event was created as a safe space for the Queer and Feminist individuals to sing karaoke and raise funds for Soroptimist International to empower women.”

    I don’t understand why Soroptimist International would need a male drag performer at one of their fund raising events. While I don’t have anything against drag performers, I do have a problem with this at a Soroptomist event. It’s a mockery of women, and I just don’t think it’s appropriate in this particular situation.
    As to drag, gay men have been doing drag since forever. I don’t have anything against drag. Unlike trans, they aren’t delusional enough to think that they are actually women, or say they are special “non-binary” whatever the f***. They know they are men, albeit men who like to dress up differently now and then, drink a few beers, and have a laugh.

    Jesus freaking Christ, WTF is a “trans butch”?

    “Hey y’all my name’s Lily and Im an indigenous trans butch living and loving in Philadelphia.” He is probably co-opting indigenous people too. I wish to hell trans would stop colonizing and co-opting everything.

    All transwomen who claim they are “women” are doing exactly what they accuse Aunt Mary Pat of doing, except they do it in a more offensive misogynistic manner. Not only are transwomen making a mockery of females, they have the audacity to colonize and co-opt female identity itself by claiming that they are actually women. They mock women and steal their identity which is much worse than anything a gay guy in drag could ever do. Transwomen (males) wear stereotypical “feminine” clothes, makeup, etc. as a caricature of “womanhood”. They are essentially saying that clothes, makeup, etc. makes them women. Or, woman is a costume and a fashion statement.

    Poor trans, non-binary dude says,

    “I didn’t feel comfortable with a performer who mocks a life that I’m spending thousands of dollars for procedures on,”

    Males spending thousands of dollars on plastic surgery, pretty dresses, etc. will never make them women.

    At least drag performers know that they aren’t women. I can respect them for not being delusional enough to believe that they are actually female.

    I’ve been watching some of Aunt Mary Pat’s videos. Aunt Mary Pat seems more like a comedian than a drag performer. He is a funny guy, unpretentious, and seems like a decent enough person.

    Watch his video on his Facebook page posted June 8. He is crying, and he is sounding like he is bending over backwards to kiss trans ass. Just by showing up he offended the poor trans, non-binary folks, and now he must beg their forgiveness. Why should a proud gay man have to kiss trans ass when he didn’t do anything wrong?

    Trans, non-binary have been shitting on lesbians for years with their creepy ass Cotton Ceiling (lesbians are bigots for not sucking a transwoman’s wanker), even slaughtering us and trying to burn down our houses (Dana Rivers), beating the crap out of TERFs (Tara Wolf), and now they are going after gay men who do drag. Trans demand complete and total submission. Bow down and serve them.

    • GallusMag Says:

      “All transwomen who claim they are “women” are doing exactly what they accuse Aunt Mary Pat of doing, except they do it in a more offensive misogynistic manner.”

      I haven’t seen the trans ass-kissing video of June 8, but based on some of his others I suspect this is exactly what Brandon found offensive: Aunt Mary Pat seems like a particularly non-misogynist drag performance. It’s not a ghastly pantomime. The character isn’t sexualized, doesn’t speak in falsetto, doesn’t have exaggerated fey gestures. It’s an homage, not a parody. Exactly the opposite of the standard drag act -or “transwoman”!.

      Hendrickson described his Aunt Mary Pat character in one of the articles as “a love letter to my mother”.

      • Oak and Ash Says:

        ‘Hendrickson described his Aunt Mary Pat character in one of the articles as “a love letter to my mother”.’

        Maybe his real crime in the bizarro world where insulting parodies of womanhood are acceptable but Hendrickson’s humorous homage counts as bigotry is that he likes his mother better than his “glitter family.”

      • GallusMag Says:

        Yes! Apparently part of the fall-out from the incident was an article run by a snowflake in Philadelphia Magazine that absolutely trashed Hendrickson’s career, essentially calling for him to be banned. The reason? Surprise, surprise, the critic, Ernest Owens objected to Hendrickson’s audience- namely the fact that they are apparently straight white women from the same neighborhood that his character comes from. In other words, his audience is comprised of people similar to his Aunt Mary Pat character as opposed to the safe-space rainbow-glitter snowflake contingent. Which is a crime against the LGBTQQIAWTF apparently.

        Some of the article was so libelous that it has been partially redacted. Hendrickson’s supporters have started a petition calling for its removal.

        The article:
        https://www.phillymag.com/g-philly/2018/06/08/aunt-mary-pat-performance/

        The petition:
        https://www.change.org/p/g-philly-fire-earnest-owens-and-apologize-to-aunt-mary-pat

      • Rosemary Says:

        He also seems to have a sense of humor and isn’t about taking himself so seriously, which might be confusing to your average M2T

      • failteroimh Says:

        Aunt Mary Pat reminds me of Mike Myer’s Linda Richman character from SNL. A parody of those NY/NJ/PA archtypical women we know and love. I don’t sense any malice in it, sexualization, or gross exaggeration besides the makeup and accent. I think it’s light-hearted fun!

        And the fact that this dude is so at ease probably infuriates this other guy who is just beset with anxiety, jealousy and rage over his inability to become the thing he wants to become.

        The complainant also completely glossed over the fact that Hendrickson probably *has* spent thousands of dollars on clothes, makeup, improv classes, makeup classes, traveling to shows, accommodations, etc.

    • Siobhan Says:

      Good grief, Hendrickson donated $50 to Kulp’s electrolysis fund together with some obsequious praise and salutations. The trans ass is being kissed big time. Gay men, please, find some pride.


  9. Can you imagine being so privileged that you can just go to the owner of an establishment and complain someone is making you “uncomfortable,” and the owner kicks that person out? I can’t imagine it. I’m uncomfortable on a regular basis—men’s behaviour grosses me out in many establishments, and I can’t just ask to have them kicked out. It’s the people with the privilege who get to stay, and the people without the privilege who get kicked out. Women don’t have that privilege. Even gay men don’t have it, from the looks of this. Thanks for reporting this, Gallus Mag. It’s another piece of evidence in the very large and growing pile of evidence that everyone knows transwomen are straight men and they are being treated accordingly.

    • Renee Says:

      Great point! If we could get all the creepy guys kicked out of places that would be power (which, as women, we are not allowed to have.) And as always, men’s feelings (especially fragile trans”women”‘s male feelings) are the most important thing in the world.

  10. Riffraff Says:

    “Lilith Kulp is a 22 year old non-binary trans womxn living in Philadelphia.”

    Still waiting for a good explanation how the NB/”woman”/”lesbian” thing works lmao

    Also what is that poetry? He makes sex sound like he’s dumpster diving at Arby’s.

  11. Medi Says:

    All drag shows demean women, gay men have been doing horrifying womanface for a very very long time, but hey a MAN complained and got bowed down to. An event raising money to better the lives of women and girls? The whole damn thing is mixed up crazy kat.

  12. unabashed Says:

    I have to repeat that the most appalling thing here is the article you posted at the end.

    Hey everybody: “white feminism” is getting raped in a graveyard!

    (To say nothing of getting beaten up for it, accused of lying, and then contracting HIV!)

    I agree with Gallus Mag that what is most endearing about this drag performance (the total lack of actually trying to look like a woman/the obvious comic nature of it) is likely what is most offensive to this transgender person. The person is actually being gender nonconforming as well as sensitive to women, which must be threatening to someone highly gender-conforming and insensitive to women.

    I also agree with Purpesagefem that had an actual woman complained, none of this would have happened. She would have been told *she* was being bigoted, and that she needed to suck it up or she’d be asked to go home for the day, and that would have been the end of that.

    Since when has the world listened if women were ever uncomfortable about misogynistic (not “transphobic”) drag performances? (Since when has the world cared about if women were uncomfortable about anything, really?) I remember being sexually assaulted during the lunch shift by a tall middle-aged man out to lunch with his daughters who were older than I was when I worked at a “family restaurant,” and, when reporting it to the waiter who served the man’s table, having him sort of shrug (I had to get the manager and demand the man be kicked out; since what he did–grabbing me, holding me in place, sticking his hands down my jeans and pulling out my underwear so he could whisper in my ear “I like your pink panties”–was sexual *assault* that’s really the least of what should have happened).

    I remember getting my ass grabbed by a regular at the same place and going to the management about it. The management said basically that the female bartenders got sexually harassed all the time, and the guy who grabbed my ass was “some crazy” who would grab men’s asses too (as if this made it all right somehow?!) and basically I should shut up and not make a big deal out of it because a male regular’s right to sexually harass was more important than any of our rights to work our jobs free of harassment or assault. (This same family restaurant/bar and brewery–emphasis on the “bar and brewery” part–later had a manager take me aside to complain about a tank top I wore under an open-necked t-shirt because I have large breasts and “this is a family restaurant.” Nothing I was wearing was against dress code, I simply was not wearing a bra. My large breasts were actually *mentioned* as being the “problem”). So women get to be sexually harassed by their jobs and told it’s because *they’re* inappropriate, and meanwhile have to put up with sexual harassment and even assault from male customers because “shit happens, deal with it,” but a trans person gets to request a drag performer *performing drag at a feminist event for feminist fundraising* be asked to leave because it makes them *uncomfortable?*

    What a white feminist I must be for pointing all of this out! So much cis privilege!

    (At what point did satire and parody become our reality)?

  13. petuniacat00 Says:

    Good gravy, what a delusional weirdo he is. And the fool who manages the café doesn’t understand that people objecting to stuff like the N-word was never this kind of hyper personal whining. Disturbing. But hey, this straight transvestite managed to fuck over a gay man so, hooray for wokeness? 😣

    It also sounds like Mary Pat DiSabatino is a comedy character, like Emily Litella or Lily Tomlin‘s phone operator. Not even a regular drag act.

  14. Margie Says:

    I think we should take note of the backlash against the bar. They are being deluged with negative posts and comments, many calling for a boycott. It is clear that there are limits to what LGB people will accept from trans activists. This is not the first time that a trans activist attempt to shut down drag has backfired. The same thing happened in Glasgow 2 years ago. We have also seen backlashes when trans activists disrupt Pride parades and we saw it when “LGBT” organizations announced a boycott of Michfest a few years ago. The boycotting organizations were forced to reverse themselves.

    All of these incidents involve an infringement upon gay or lesbian culture. It seems that LGBs are reluctant to object if trans activists steal our resources, co-opt our political organizations or spin lies about our history. But when trans activism encroaches upon some aspect of LGB culture, there is a real reaction. We might incorporate this insight into our work. When persuading our fellow LGBs of the harm that comes from trans activism and from “LGBT,” we might make special note of the incompatibility of trans activism and LGB culture.

  15. hearthrising Says:

    While drag can unquestionably be sexist, making fun of women as well as celebrating the trappings of female oppression, the Hendrickson video isn’t falling into that category. It’s more of a comedic character sketch, along the lines of Tracy Ullman. Unfortunately it does not look like Hendrickson has the personality to push back against the abuse he’s getting, even though people are willing to back him up. He strikes me as more of a “just wanna get along” kind of guy who hates to fight.


  16. I was heartened to see mostly gender critical comments in this Philly article:

    http://www.phillyvoice.com/aunt-mary-pat-disabatino-win-win-coffee-bar-lgbtq-transgender/

    And, apparently there is a meeting at another Philly bar this Friday about this gender skirmish…..if the attendees are anything like the posters in the article – bring it on!


  17. I’m uncomfortable with heterosexual males referring to me as a “dyke.”

    So that means Brandon “Lily” Kulp will stop using that word, right…?


  18. FYI, dunno where to put this, so leaving it here:

    https://www.theindychannel.com/news/local-news/hendricks-county/student-says-former-brownsburg-teacher-who-refused-to-call-transgender-kids-by-prefered-name-was

    Enter: Stage Right. The fundies are here!

    I figured they would only get involved when it impacted them directly, and I was right… now we have another teacher echoing Peterson almost exactly. Its good it has happened to Peterson first, so these people will know what to say: First Amendment, freedom of speech and religion, hammer it to death. It IS true after all. This teacher started calling all students by last names to get around the first name-change, and that still wasn’t considered good enough for the trans kids since, “everybody knew why he was doing it”–thoughtcrime.

    He had to resign his job for Christian thoughtcrime. In Indiana, home of Mike fucking Pence.

    Be afraid, be very afraid.

    • WTF Is This Nonsense? Says:

      indychannel:”20 percent”

      Wait, I thought it was 40+%? Anyway, I’ve read stories where family and the whole city celebrated a wardrobe change…and the person still committed suicide.

  19. D Jackson Says:

    For some reason, drag queens are the go-to for things like hosting karaoke (and bingo, apparently)…LOL. Saddest part of this is how the fundraising organization’s money actually seems to go directly to women who need it. Wondering if that might not have *actually* been Kulp’s frustration—the core of the narcissist is ENVY after all. Blaming the drag queen’s an easy distraction…

  20. Charlotte Says:

    Yet another case of straight men bullying gay men.


  21. Drop the T. I have my own article if anyone is interested. HOW the trans community hurts women and lesbians. https://www.patreon.com/posts/cis-free-speech-19166406
    Or feel free to find gender critical people on Twitter and Mewe.

  22. Nonny Says:

    Ugh, another TIM with dopey, cutesy poses and expressions, surely his idea of what “feminine” looks like. Seems like it’s always either the “trans women are good and pure” stoned look, the clueless stringy-hair bad hygiene “I’ve never had to suffer the male gaze for even a moment” look, or the “future serial killer” smirk.

  23. Jennifer Says:

    Man, hetero trannies are the worst men. Rapey, humorless, misogynist, domineering. How do they manage to be such black holes?


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