Our daughter in college just announced her/hir intent to start taking Testosterone. What should we do?
April 23, 2015
Request for advice and guidance from a concerned parent:
Our almost 21 year child just announced yesterday her/hir intent to start taking T and said that she was considering top surgery eventually as well but “that’s all”. Ze has been wearing men’s clothes for a couple of years now, hates having a period, and appears very butch. Seems most interested in/connected with other butch/lesbian individuals. We have tried to understand and have asked if hir intent is to transition to a male, but she claims not; stating that she’s just tired of being seen as a female, despite the butch clothes etc but does not want to be a “full male”..more like androgynous or “non-binary”.
It’s a long story, like many, but it started when she went to college and found her “place/home” in the LGBTQ community, and then changed her major to “Gender & Women’s Studies”. We are so concerned about whether this T medical treatment and surgery is truly what will make her happy versus being pressured by the environment she is currently in. She wants to change her name legally this summer. She seems attracted to other lesbians from what I can tell which may not be much! I know this may not be PC but what we’ve seen develop in her school experience feels “cultish” to us. Maybe we’re in denial? We are so very concerned about the permanent nature of this “transition” and that it is being done without any in-depth psychological evaluation or counseling. There is a possible history of abuse from a male babysitter when she was 4, but it was never possible to establish exactly what happened..she was examined and no physical evidence of anything was found. We did take her to counseling of course. She was also bullied in both middle and high school. She does suffer from anxiety and has trouble handling “stress” She has done extremely well academically and is very bright. She has always been quite nurturing and wonderful with babies and young children and even thought about becoming a preschool/elementary school teacher up until fairly recently.
What should we say to her about this upcoming transition? Should we give her any advice or information? We have tried to be accepting/loving parents but we are so afraid she is making a mistake that she could seriously regret later in life once the changes are permanent and that her decision to do this is encouraged so much by the community she is now involved with.
Thank you so much for reading this and any suggestions you can make would be very welcome.
From comment left HERE.
March 29, 2015
February 24, 2015
Why do you spend all your time hating on lesbian trans women rather than gay male assigned at birth misogynists and male identified people who rape those stuck with a hole in the front? Also, I don’t see anyone pillaging from lesbian culture, because your lot, like straight men, are the most aesthetically challenged of all. I may have been unlucky enough to be born without a penis, but don’t you dare assume all trans men were ugly butch dykes who dominated your precious femmes before transitioning. Some trans men were every bit as disgusted as going near a woman sexually as they were with having woman parts, and felt that way before going on t or getting those gross udders obliterated surgically. Heterosexual relationships are an unsexy pit of dominance and submission, and lesbians just imitate this dynamic, albeit with even worse taste in music. And if you hate trans men so much, why do you butches all bind your boobs, have crewcuts, use male nicknames, throttle your femmes with strap ons, don’t let your femmes touch you during sex, and act no different than some rage a holic bubba who beats the missus if she puts too much mayo on your sammich? As a trans man who bangs men up the ass and enjoys a loving, long term, egalitarian relationship with my beautiful feminine gay boyfriend who was born with a penis, I am endlessly curious about you bullies and your masochistic laydee friends.
Before I transitioned and got to join my hot feminine gay boyfriend in the men’s room, I was way more scared of the mean looking bulldaggers and the lipstick licking pregnancy obsessed bimbos in the wombmoon’s room than i ever would be of a trans girl who just wants to do her business and get out of there. Oh, and even more scary? Cow mothers bringing their already predatory male children in there and letting their boy brats peek under the stalls. Of course, all the silly uterus-brains find chulllldren adorable. Gag.
This argument might be valid if all trans women were pre op and wanted to penetrate at all costs, and if lesbians didn’t storm the sex shops to buy painful fake penises in order to feel manly by slamming their submissive, orgasm faking wifey’s innards and giving her urinary tract infections. Until strap on dildos in lesbian sex shops are as nonexistent as gay men buying “jenna Jameson’s strap on pussy ” from gay male sex shops, you silly macho ladies don’t have a leg to stand on. And really, that’s why you hate trans women so much…they don’t have to deal with all the gross parts of womanhood (pms, bleeding, yeast, no orgasms, rape threat, gynecologist, menopause, pregnasty, cellulite, etc) and you do!
– Super Short
December 11, 2014
Originally posted on Privilege Denying Tranny:
EW, EWWW WTF, Why is the F2T wearing a glove and looks like Wolverine? More Trans fantasy art. Remember the picture of Jane Doe…
SO…Top five reasons to fuck a woman (er) “trans man”
1. Trans guys are HOT!!
2. Their plastic dicks never go soft!! Dudes always use this line of logic on lesbians (cause lesbian sex has to have penetration or else why bother right! ugh) Now the tables have turned! Dudes, don’t you want this? It’s just like a real cock right? Don’t say no or else you’re a trans phobic bigot piece of shit.
3. Three HOLES are better than two…
Yep, a vagina is just a hole. JUST ANOTHER HOLE GUYS. Nothing more than a HOLE.
View original 96 more words
December 5, 2014
October 22, 2014
From a reader:
I just wanted to make you aware of something that is going on a lot in the various trans communities on reddit: they are falling all over themselves encouraging underage kids to order and take puberty blockers/hormones without doctor supervision and without their parents knowing.
“Just do your best to get a job, or ask your parents for allowance and order meds online. You probably can’t buy much with the amount a 14 year old would make, but it’s better than nothing, since you’re that upset about it.”
A fourteen year old kid (same kid that is featured here btw: http://bbrightstar.tumblr.com/post/98511520156/thirdwaytrans-atranspaige-does-anyone), is encouraged to get puberty blockers without his parents knowing about it.
In this post, commenters tell the kid that “puberty blockers have no side effects” (http://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/2jitun/im_not_allowed_to_transition_even_socially_im/clchmu1)
They also tell him to “Just DIY secretly. Make friends with a transgender who lives near your area and ask them to help you get hormones.” (http://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/2jitun/im_not_allowed_to_transition_even_socially_im/clcacyk)
Telling 14 year old kids to befriend random adults for favors is absolutely appaling.
And lastly: yesterday, that same kid made a post titled “What’s the safest way to DIY hormones(mtf, age 14)” (http://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/2jx9hm/whats_the_safest_way_to_diy_hormonesmtf_age_14/)
And again, the posters are being very “helpful”, telling the kid to go ahead and import presciption drugs illegaly and behind the backs of his parents. Some posters tell him that it is dangerous, but they are downvoted. The kid also explicitly says that his pediatrician has advised against blockers and hormone treatment, but that is apparently not relevant to the good posters at r/asktransgender.
I’ve read a lot of this kids’ posts, and not surprisingly his parents are extremely rigid enforcers of gender stereotypes. He’s not allowed to grow out his hair or paint his nails.