“You are NOT alone. Aside from some of the wonderful women here, this happened to my MIL. Luckily none of the children in that case were young, but it still caused serious problems for them–it was so devastating to his son that he moved to another country. My ex-stepFIL–who now is “a woman,” although he looks, talks, and behaves exactly like a man–barely has a relationship with his children anymore. He’s rarely permitted to see his biological grandchildren, and then only with supervision. (We allow him to see our daughters, but with the caveat that he is NOT to “present” as anything but male around them. We do not call him by his ridiculous tranny name and our girls are not even aware that he goes by a different name around other people.)
His health has been seriously damaged, but as others have said, he made/is making his own choice.
Anyway. Like you, my MIL found that there was zero support for her, and everyone, from therapists to online “support” groups, told her she was the one with the problem because she wasn’t thrilled at the idea of sleeping with/being married to a tranny, and didn’t believe that he could actually “become” anything more than a castrato with fake breasts, which is exactly what he is. More than once she ended up in tears because of how she was spoken to and treated by those people, and because they made her feel like SHE was the one at fault, SHE was the one whose behavior was cruel and unforgivable. It’s likely you will run into people who will say the same to you or treat you the same way. DO NOT BELIEVE THEM. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. YOU ARE NOT WRONG TO THINK THIS IS HORRIFYING AND YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY NOT WRONG TO PROTECT YOUR DAUGHTER IN ANY WAY YOU CAN.
(Sorry for the all-caps, but I feel the above needs an emphasis as strong as I can possibly give it.)
I cannot imagine how difficult this must be for you, having a young child. I am absolutely furious on your and her behalf at the monstrous selfishness and disregard for both of you that this man is displaying.
I really wish I could offer you some real advice or help. All I can tell you is that my MIL wishes very much that she had done several of the following things (this was about fifteen years ago now, and not in the US, and of course every situation is different, but you may want to consider or look into these things, which are of course not legal advice and I am not a lawyer):
February 10, 2015
Germaine Greer to women at Cambridge Union: “kick ass and take names and talk loud and make a crowd”
January 28, 2015
Iconic feminist Germaine Greer kicked off her UK tour in support of “Disappearing Women” at the Cambridge Union Society this Monday evening past, in what was reported to be a rousing, triumphant success. Attempts by anti-feminist transgender activists to have her speech censored failed, potential threats by males who believe they are female were ameliorated by frisking attendees at the doors, and she spoke to a packed house.
From the Cambridge Varsity:
“Despite the queue created by the heightened security measures, the atmosphere of the crowd was eager but not angry – there were few signs of protest except for a few LGBT+ representatives handing out leaflets at the door. They declined to comment on their decision to boycott the event, and there was little of the sense of outrage that had characterised the statements of the LGBT+ community.
Greer was uncompromising in her rhetoric, condemning from the beginning of her speech the “pressure on women to be clean, sweet, perfumed and submissive” and later suggested that trans women do not know what it is to “have a big, hairy, smelly vagina”. Greer was robust in her championing of the woman as an autonomous person and was anxious not to be diverted into what she described as “side issues”.
Witty and acerbic, Greer had the audience laughing throughout; describing the Sun website as a “fantasmagoria of nipples” whilst simultaneously speaking passionately and intensely about her notion of “the disappearing woman”.
She cited examples of cases in which women are judged but go unheard, condemning the fact that “nobody bothers to investigate” the perspective of women such as Amanda Hutton, who was widely reviled in the media. Her championing of sexual liberation and power for women was clear as she invited her audience to “kick ass and take names and talk loud and make a crowd”.
In the wake of the LGBT+ Cambridge campaign and its recent domination of student media, audience members were relentless in their questioning of Greer on her exclusion of transgender women from her feminist ideas. Greer remained steadfast in her stipulation that her feminism was about women and appeared visibly angered by the fact that discussion lingered upon what she clearly felt to be a side issue: “I’ve got 51 per cent of the world to think about and I’ve got to talk about transphobia”.
When a student quoted her own words back to her she did not compromise her previous position and repeated the word “delusion” to describe the wish of men to become women, causing a stir amongst the audience with her antipathy towards any presentation of men in drag: “I hate Mrs Brown”.
However, such discussion was secondary to Greer’s address of the body image problems of the 21st century. She explicitly stated that it remained the obligation of feminists to rage against the pressure on women to “have a baby and then go back to looking like a 12 year old boy ten days later”.
Strident and controversial as ever – describing Harriet Harman as “not smart enough” and referring to The Guardian Newspaper as “the fucking Guardian” – Greer seemed piqued but unfazed by the opposition of students to her speech because of her transgender views.
Her message to students was clear and impassioned. “We need to recognise women as human beings,” she said, and demanded of her female audience that they “toughen up; be more difficult. Be braver.”
A small “boycott” event was held in response in a classroom elsewhere by anti-feminist transgenderists. Organized by Em Travis, a feminine young woman who identifies as “internally non-binary transgender” the protest event featured two male transsexuals who campaign against feminism and lesbian rights. The first, Andrew “Roz” Kaveney, is best known as the founder of “Feminists Against Censorship”, a deceptively named organization whose purpose is to protect and promote the “rights” of transwomen and other males to consume what is defined in the UK as “extreme violent pornography”: that which depicts what appear to be “life-threatening or seriously injurious” acts. In Kaveney’s topsy-turvy world, “being female” is a lifestyle choice for men, and “Feminism” is the active promotion of the most violent sexualized acts against women imaginable.
The other middle-aged male selected by transtrender Em Travis to chair her event was Christopher “Aunty Sarah” Brown, an anti-gay activist who was formally protested by women at London’s Dyke March this year.
According to the Varsity, Greer’s brash and humorous tone was not duplicated at the protest event, where: “The [transgender] talk took place in a mindful and open atmosphere created by the strict and very comprehensive guidelines – including the use of verbal trigger warnings when addressing potentially offensive or harmful content – to which all audience members closely adhered.”
Males (both transgender and not) continue to pearl-clutch in the wake of Germaine Greer’s presentation: over her frank speech, but mainly over her lack of capitulation to transgenderism, a view they seemed to desperately want to hear, over and over again. Expect this formula to rinse and repeat as the legendary Woman’s Liberationist continues her appearances on her “Disappearing Women” tour across the UK. Do catch her at an upcoming scheduled event near you!
January 20, 2015
January 17, 2015
Charity Caswell aka Daniel E Caswell aka Charity Lynn Caswell aka Ravyn Sorrow aka Soulless Empire aka Welsh Goth Girl
39 years old
Fixed income SSI
Originally from Columbus, Ohio
Currently: Northern Nevada
See comments for more.
Originally posted on Gender Identity Watch:
Charity Caswell is a Man who identifies as a Woman. He has created an extremely disgusting Twitter account in which he posits that Cathy Brennan “hates men” because she was raped. The account is here.
Caswell also attempted to pose as Anonymous to harass Cathy here and the most abusive message from Caswell is reproduced below.
Cathy M Brennan (@BrennanCathyM) _ TwitterCathy M Brennan on Twitter_ _@AnonyOps this dyke here –_ @BadhbhCatha condones rapists. Cathy M Brennan 311 Murdock Road Baltimore MD 21212Cathy M Brennan on Twitter_ _@TYEFofficial this dyke here –_ @BadhbhCatha condones rapists. Cathy M Brennan 311 Murdock Road Baltimore MD 21212Cathy M Brennan on Twitter_ _@TGGuide the dyke here –_ @BadhbhCatha condones rapists. Cathy M Brennan 311 Murdock Road Baltimore MD 21212Cathy M Brennan on Twitter_ _dyke here –_ @BadhbhCatha…
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I need advice and solutions on sleeping arrangements with cis and trans women (self.asktransgender)
submitted 11 hours ago by oogiewoogie
I have a sensitive issue that I need some advice on. I belong to a growing LGBTQ club in my city that goes on out of town trips. I plan the rooms and accommodation for the ladies which involve shared beds, in rooms of 2 or 4.
I know many of the cis lesbians that go on these trips, and while they are supportive of trans rights, many of them are nervous being alone in a room as them, let alone sharing a bed. I am disappointed that transphobia exists even in the LGBT community but it does exist. Yes, I know our members need to be educated, but as you know, that will take time and not happen overnight. So please do not berate me on running a transphobic club.
We had a trans girl join us for the last few trips. When she first posted on our message board that she was trans and looking to share rooms, I got several e-mails from the cis women insisting that they were not comfortable being roomed with any trans women. To avoid any conflict, I have always shared a bed with her and have not had any issues.
However this year we have had another trans girl want to join us. I want to be as inclusive and non-discriminatory as possible, as that is the motto of our club. But my options were: